Renew Your Spirit: 5 Ways I’m Finding Hope & Strength Right Now

(02:11):

We're driving into Chicago and he's at the wheel and I'm in the back of the car and we're just chatting up a storm. And in addition to his positive energy, earnest has one of those voices, these deep, soulful, smooth voices. So smooth. It was as if it was a liquid butterscotch. And I'm just soaking up every word. And if that's not enough, he also spoke in poetry, the kind of person that can just string together a sentence and you find yourself closing your eyes and just nodding along as he is dropping just one beautiful truth bomb after another. And all of a sudden I got this feeling inside me and I thought, I wonder if Earnest is a minister. And so I said, earnest, any chance you're a minister? And he just started laughing like, you got me, Mel, you got me? Yes, I'm a minister.

 

(03:13):

Yes, I'm a minister. And then he went on to explain that in his opinion, the difference between a pastor and a minister is that a pastor is somebody who is responsible for a church and for the congregation of the church. But a minister, a minister is a person who spreads light and spreads positive energy, who ministers by lifting people up. Now, we were not talking about any kind of particular religion. We were just talking about spreading light, positive energy, lifting people up. And so I said to earnest, earnest, I am here in town because I have to give a speech tomorrow morning. And I believe that when I am standing on that stage and I'm looking out into that audience, I am spreading light. I am showing people a different way to look at the situation that they're in or the things that they want in life that I too am in the business of positive energy and lifting people up.

 

(04:12):

And it would be an honor to have you come and to have you experience me doing what I do because I've been experiencing what you do. And he said, yes. He said yes. And it was one of those moments where I just love when you say to yourself, I am sitting right here with this person for a reason. And as we got closer and closer to downtown Chicago, and as Ernest kept on ministering to the three of us in his car, as he was spreading his light and talking all kinds of positivity, I sat there and thought to myself, I am supposed to be sitting here and he is supposed to be in the driver's seat and we are supposed to meet. It's just one of those moments. And I want to open you up to a really important idea that sometimes the light or the connection or the support or the love that you need, it's not going to come from the people.

 

(05:14):

Rather the universe will put a stranger in your path to give you exactly what you need in that moment even though you didn't know you needed it. And what I didn't know is I had gotten off that plane in Chicago feeling exhausted by my work schedule and feeling so heartbroken over the news right now. I didn't realize how much I needed a little light. And I want you to remain open to the fact that there are going to be strangers that cross your path today, this week, this month, this year that can give you the connection, the love, the light, the support, the help, whatever it is that you need without you even realizing it. And you are also that stranger for somebody else that you can without even realizing that you're doing it because Ernest did not step in that driver's seat and go, I'm just going to lift these women up.

 

(06:15):

He was just being earnest. He was just shining his light. And the interesting thing about strangers is think about this. Absolutely everybody that you love was once a stranger to you. And all it takes to turn a stranger into a friend or to somebody who supports you or to the love of your life is taking a moment to connect with the light in one another. And so Ernest did come and he was so cute. He arrived bright and early and I was so proud to have him there. And we sat him right up front in the audience of thousands of people next to our corporate client and he just soaked it in. And then when it was over, we had some time in what they call the back of the house, behind the front of the house at a hotel. We were standing back there and I said, so earnest, what did you think?

 

(07:10):

What did you think? And he said some of the most beautiful things to me. He said, Mel, it was so amazing to sit there and watch you do what you do. And there is no doubt that you are a minister. In fact, everybody, Mel is a minister because everybody has the power to spread light and positive energy. Everybody has the power to lift people up. But as you were standing on that stage and you were pouring your heart into every single person there, did you notice thousands of people and every single person was quiet as a church mouse, they were reflecting, they were considering what you were saying. And I want you to know, Mel, it was so much more than positive energy because what you do is you make a way out of no way. You are reminding people of their power, you're reminding them of what they really want out of life, that they don't want to be stuck, that they want to feel more.

 

(08:14):

And then he said this. He said, Mel, do you know what you are? And I said, no. He said, you're a lighthouse. And when he said that word, lighthouse, it immediately brought me back to a really incredible childhood memory. I mean, lighthouses hold a lot of importance for me. I grew up in western Michigan in a tiny little town right on the shores of Lake Michigan. And if you don't know the Great Lakes, if you're listening in one of the 194 countries where this show is syndicated around the world and you've never seen the Great Lakes, they're just like an ocean. You cannot see across them. They are huge, huge waves. They are enormous. And so I grew up in a tiny little town that was surrounded by lakes that all fed into the great lake called Lake Michigan. And one of my dad's favorite things to do on the weekends if he wasn't on call and he didn't have to work, was to get up really early and jump in the boat and drive out from the little lake we lived on through the channel into the bigger Lake, Muskegon Lake, and then out the big channel Muskegon Lake and out into the wide open and vast Lake Michigan.

 

(09:30):

And what he loved to do is he loved to fish for steelhead, and I would often go with him. Now, here's the thing, being a little bit of a worry ward, as a kid, I was deathly afraid that we would get out there to the big open, vast ocean like Lake Michigan and we would be swept away. I had a really active imagination. So my dad would be having the time of his life with a cigar in his mouth, and he's got all kinds of lures in the water, and he's fish in the steelhead run. And my mind would be a spinning, what if the engine doesn't start? What if a storm rolls over? What if one of those big dark thunderstorms comes in and all of a sudden the wind picks up and the waves start going and the boat gets flipped over? And dad and I find ourselves lost at sea.

 

(10:18):

And there would be times that my dad would try to start the engine up after we'd been out there for a while, way shore, and it would go and then it wouldn't start, wouldn't start. And then I'd start to panic and my dad would be like, would you calm down? Just calm down. And then he would say, Mel, we are not going to get lost. Just look. And he'd turn around, he'd point at the shoreline. And there off in the distance was the lighthouse. And the lighthouse that was on Muskegon channel is a lighthouse called Muskegon South pure head lighthouse. And what my dad would say is he said, Mel, that lighthouse is always there and that lighthouse is there so you don't get lost. See, it doesn't matter, Mel, how foggy it is or how dark it's going to get, or if a storm blows in, we're going to be fine because the lighthouse has one job.

 

(11:11):

The lighthouse is always shining its light so that it can bring you home. It lets you know that you're never alone and you're never lost. And when I would look at that lighthouse, even though it was kind of far away, I got to be honest with you, it made me feel a little safer and it made me feel like my dad and I were not alone out there in that big old great Lake, lake, Michigan, but that we were connected to somebody who could and who would help. And if you've ever been lost, if you ever had that experience where you've been lost, whether you're driving around and all of a sudden you have to pull over because you don't know where you are, or maybe you're in a new city and you're walking around in circles and you can't find your way or heck, I remember being a freshman in college and I was so lost at Dartmouth College, I didn't know where my classroom was.

 

(12:06):

So when you're feeling lost, it's really scary. But then there is that moment when either somebody stops and says, are you lost? Or you say to somebody else, excuse me, I'm a little lost. And the person says to you, you're not lost. I know exactly where you are, and I also know how to get where you're going. And that right there is such an amazing feeling to have someone say to you, you're not lost. I know exactly where you are, and I know how to get you where you want to go. And so today, that's exactly what I want to talk to you about. This feeling that I think is really universal right now of feeling lost, especially when the world feels like it's very dark. And when you're feeling lost, how can you navigate this? How can you move forward again? And I know that that's exactly how I felt this week as I've been watching the news unfold.

 

(13:14):

It feels like a huge dark storm has blown in that the fog is here that we're spinning around. It's scary, and I don't know about you, but whenever I feel like things are really dark or I feel very lost and I'm not sure what to do, I start to feel paralyzed. That's kind of my initial reaction that I get stuck. I get angry, I feel uncertain. My energy starts to drain for me, I feel so sad, and I'm sharing that with you because if that's how you felt recently, I want you to know you're not alone and feeling that way. And it might not even be that you feel lost maybe right now because of what's happening in your personal life or because you live in a part of the world that is in conflict and crisis, that you do feel like you're holding on for deal life, that you are trying not to drown.

 

(14:07):

And I also want you to know if that's how you feel as you hear my voice or you're watching this video, that you're not alone. There are so many people, unfortunately, hundreds of thousands if not millions of people that feel that way right now too. So today I'm thinking about our conversation, not like this is a podcast episode. I am thinking about our conversation as me sharing with you how I'm feeling and what I really want to do, because I've been thinking a lot about this, especially since earnest and this metaphor of a lighthouse, is I want to speak to the situation that we're in right now. 

(16:16):

We feel stuck, we start to get paralyzed. I am here to shine a light on the fact that there are small things that you can do right now, first to weather this storm and second to start to see yourself and what you can do in a different life. My hope is that by the time you and I are done talking today, that you're not going to feel so stuck that you're not going to feel so hopeless, but that you will feel reconnected to your strength and you will feel empowered by some very simple things that you can do right now to help yourself and perhaps help somebody else who needs you. 

(18:15):

What is the light? The light is your humanity. It's your compassion. It's your ability to laugh, to love, to hug somebody, to listen to care. It's what you feel in your heart, and that's why your heart is breaking right now. Your heart is breaking because you're seeing innocent people that you see suffering due to war or natural disasters or senseless hatred and violence. And I don't know about you, but when I watch the news, I have to remind myself because it's easy to forget this fact that these innocent people are victims. They're not their governments, and that's why so many people around the world need your light right now, and I want to talk to you about how you can tap into that light. And I'm also going to share with you some of the things that I am doing that are making me stay connected to my light and keeping me grounded and keeping me in a place where I am not getting sucked into this darkness.

 

(19:21):

I'm staying above it so that I can help and so that I can stay connected to my power. See, even when nothing seems to make sense, there's always something that you can do. And what you can do right now is to be a lighthouse for other people to cast your light into this dark storm for anybody who needs it to see it. And what does that even mean, Mel? Well, let me talk about that for a minute. First of all, whenever I feel really low, I find that the fastest way for me to lift my own spirits is to help somebody else. So in whatever way that you can try to find ways to help other people to connect, to volunteer, to serve others, however you can do that when you lift somebody else up, you are being a lighthouse. And it always does come back to you.

(21:07):

There are so many interesting things that happen with your perspective when you're supporting somebody else, you realize you have more power than you think. I'm talking little stuff. You could run errands for somebody, you could work hotlines, you could check in on friends and family by supporting somebody else in need. You gain a new perspective about your own situation. And there's something magical that happens when you start giving back because you realize that you do have more power than you think you do. When you sit alone and you tell yourself there's nothing that you can do, you will start to spiral. You will feel more depressed. And I know this is true. I mean, just think about the times that somebody has done something nice for you In those moments when somebody else helps you, you feel seen, you feel lifted up. And the second thing that I want you to do is to be soft with yourself right now because the world's suffering, it is impacting you.

 

(22:05):

Two. In fact, Dr. Tamma Bryant, who's been featured on the last two episodes that we published, has this saying that whatever is happening out there is happening in here too. And what she means by that is that you are absorbing the energy and the stress around you. Everybody on the planet right now is impacted by this. And even if you are not vibrating with a lot of stress, people around you are, they are worried. They're watching the news, they may not be able to turn it off. They are worried about loved ones. They're worried about what might happen. And this energy is impacting you. And if you are watching the news, yeah, you can turn that off, but you can't turn it off in your body. And so if you are having a hard time concentrating or falling asleep or procrastination has ticked up, or you feel like you're on edge or you're starting to slip into feeling like nothing matters and life is horrible, that is an example of how this is impacting you.

 

(23:05):

And so it is critical that you take steps to take care of yourself right now because you deserve it. And in order to lift other people up, you got to make sure that you start by lifting yourself up first. And so I thought a lot about this. How am I doing that for myself? And I came up with five things that I'm doing right now that are helping me to stop the overwhelm and stop the despair and to stay connected to my light, to the power that I do have and to a connection to something greater than very scary moment. And so the first thing is spiritual practices. I am a very spiritual person, but since this news began a week ago, I have really become intentional about making sure it is part of my daily and sometimes several times a daily thing that I'm doing.

 

(24:06):

And you know that spiritual practices work. One of the things I'm doing right now is praying. I'm praying for each and every single human being who has lost their lives or their loved ones. I'm praying for people who are in harm's way, who are fearing for their lives. I'm praying for those of you that are struggling right now with anxiety and fear and grief, and I'm praying for compassion. I'm praying for healing, and I'm praying for peace. And you want to know what else I'm praying for? I am praying for our collective light to shine brighter than this terrifying darkness that has rolled into the world right now. Since the beginning of time, spiritual practices have helped people through some of the most tragic experiences. So whether for you that means prayer or meditation or journaling or gathering with other people of a similar faith, or even for me just taking a walk outside, like getting outside, getting off my phone, taking a walk in the woods, or here's what I did this morning.

 

(25:11):

I was driving down the road and I have a friend that I've talked about on this podcast that is a flower farmer. She's the owner of Flour Farm and she has all these Dahlia fields. And I pulled over because I saw her working in one, and I left my car running and I just silently walked through the rose in her flower field. And as I walked, I took in each individual flower and I would stop and look at it, and I would look at the bumblebee that was laying there in the center all drunk on pollen. And I got lost in the beauty of nature. And I'll tell you what, being able to connect to something greater than this scary moment that's going on in the world, it really helps me. It helps me to stay grounded, it helps me to be calm, and that helps me to show up in a very different way during this moment.

 

(26:13):

And if you're listening to my voice or you're watching this video and you're in a part of the world where you can't get outside, just not an option for you. I want you to try visualizing yourself outside in your favorite place or visualize yourself with people that you love. If you close your eyes and allow your imagination to take you there, it might just really help. 

(27:01):

But it is really fantastic. You can use this in a grocery store. You can use this on a college campus. You can use this at work. You can use this on a sidewalk, you can use this at a stoplight. It's wonderful. And here's how it works. Whenever you're 10 feet away from another human being, just look 'em in the eyes and smile. That's it. Look 'em in the eyes and smile and try to hold the smile and your eye contact for three seconds or more. Because a funny thing happens when you do that. When you look at somebody else in the eyes and you smile, a big toothy smile, you are signaling to somebody else's mirror neurons in their brain that you are friendly, that you are a safe connection, and somebody else's mirror. Neurons can't help but then mirror your response. And so if you look at somebody in the eyes and they look back and you smile and you hold that smile for more than three seconds, you watch, they'll grin right back because they can't help it.

 

(28:01):

We are wired for connection. Then when you get five feet away, smile again and say hello. And the reason why this ten five rule is so great is because it's a simple and instant way to connect with somebody. The fact is, we are not strangers when we are all suffering around the globe, and we are all in this right now, even though we show it very, very differently from one another. I do not want us to turn away from one another because when we do that, we buy into the darkness. I want us to turn toward one another. I want us to lead with our humanity, and I want us to let the light in from one another again.