Do This Every Morning: How to Feel Energized, Focused, and in Control

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And even if you think, oh Mel, I already got a great morning routine, skip, don't you dare skip this conversation because I am going to inspire you to take that morning routine of yours up a notch. But before you and I jump into this, I just want to go, holy cow, thank you, thank you, thank you. You absolutely destroyed the episode that I just dropped on goals. I mean, gobbled it up. And if you happen to haven't listened to it, don't worry about it. You can listen to that one next. It is right before this one in the queue. It is fantastic. We go through the research on setting and achieving goals and the two steps that everybody misses that you do need to know. The reason why I'm telling you this right now is because so many of you have been DMing me about that episode in particular.

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And what I've noticed is I've noticed that whenever you write to me or you put a comment on social media or YouTube or you write a review, you almost always say, you're never going to see this. And here's what I want to take the time to tell you. I read absolutely everything I can get my hands on if you tag me, I am reading it. If you are DMing us, if you're writing comments, if you're reading reviews, we are looking at it all. And I am seeing so much of what you're writing. And so I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for taking the time to review the show, to comment, to send me your personal stories to make recommendations about experts. Thank you for sharing this show with your friends and family because of your support, because of the time that you take listening, you made the Mel Robbins podcast, the number five most followed podcast on Apple of the entire year.

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I cannot even believe it. And we are going to get into the mornings. This is not a bait and switch. I just want to make sure no person is left behind. And if you've been super busy over these last couple of weeks and this is the first time you're tuning in, welcome back. And I want to make sure you know that I got a gift for you. I've got a gift for you that I created for you that will help you make this year one of the best years of your life. What is the gift? It is a workbook that you can download at zero cost. All you got to do to get your hands on this puppy is go to mel robbins.com/best year. And you know what you're going to love? This workbook is designed using the latest research to help you get clear about what you want and it will empower you to take the next step forward in your life, in the right direction.

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And that's what we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about moving in the right direction, taking the right step forward, absolutely every single morning when you wake up. Because if you talk to any successful person out there, I promise you they are extremely intentional about their mornings. And so that's what we're talking about. The best year of your life is it's not going to happen by accident, it happens on purpose, it happens with planning, it happens with committed action. And that's what we're doing today. We're getting serious about your mornings and that's why I'm so fired up because I'm about to share something that I recorded for you a little while ago because I knew this Monday morning. This is exactly what you need to hear right now. So here's how we're going to start. Let's start with the facts about mornings.

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When it comes to mornings, there are basically two types of people. There are thinkers and there are doers. Which one are you? Are you a thinker in the morning? Are you a doer? Lemme tell you about a thinker. Thinkers mean you love to plan. You love buying journals, you love making vision boards, you love dreaming. Nothing brings you more pleasure than a whiteboard. I know this to be true because I used to be a thinker. And if this is you, you've probably already downloaded the free workbook@melrobbins.com slash bestir. You've filled it out, you've poured yourself into every question, maybe even highlighted a little bit of it because there's nothing more that you love than planning, thinking and dreaming. But here's the problem with being a thinker. No matter how many planners you buy or online courses that you take, or books that you read or podcast episodes that you listen to, unless you know how to convert those dreams and thoughts of yours into action, committed, consistent action, it never happens.

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And for a long time, that was me. I had a lot of big plans, I had all kinds of dreams, but I'll tell you what, I was going nowhere fast because I couldn't get out of my head and get my butt into gear. So that's the thinkers. Now let's talk about the doers. And I bet if you consider yourself a doer, you're probably sitting there smiling because you're thinking, oh, this is the better category to be in. It can be. It can be if you are a doer that is acting consistently and intentionally based on a plan. But here's the thing about doers. There's a lot of doers that are so busy doing and moving so fast from one thing to the next thing, to the next thing to the next thing that you're not really intentional about anything you're just doing. And in life, the direction that you're heading in it is way more important than the speed in which you're moving.

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And I say that because in my life I have fallen into the trap of being a thinker at times and a really busy doer at times. If I wasn't in my head thinking about what I was doing but not doing anything about it, then you know what I was doing. I was racing around like an idiot, but not actually moving in the right direction. You have to be able to do both. You have to be able to think strategically and take consistent action. And in fact, this is the theme I've been talking about for the last four episodes. You have to get clear about what you want, which requires strategic thinking, and then you got to wake up every single day and you got to take a step in that direction slowly, consistently chipping away day by day, stepping forward in the direction that you are intentional about moving toward.

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That's where our conversation about the morning comes in. In order to get what you want and achieve any goal that you have, you have to get serious about your mornings. You cannot half-ass this anymore. Thinking about getting out of bed is not the same thing as getting out of bed, planning to exercise in the morning, not the same thing as exercising in the morning and jumping out of bed only to reach for your phone and start scrolling on social media before you even brush your teeth. That is one of the dumbest things that doers do. And I speak from personal experience on this because you know what? I have fallen into both of those dumb traps. And that's why getting serious about your mornings will change your life. And I want to warn you, this really isn't an episode with the six science back tricks that you need to follow to have the perfect morning routine, like getting sunlight first thing in your eyes, or why exercise is important or how the first meal is critical for your gut health or why you got to delay coffee for 90 minutes for better focus all by the way, topics that we have covered extensively with experts on the Mel Robbins podcast over the past year.

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Those are all really important, but that's not really what I want to focus on. I want to talk less about what you need to do and how you do it. And I want you to laser focus on why this matters so much. And the reason why this matters is because your mornings are your best shot at changing how you show up in life. And if you already have a morning routine, congratulations, so do I. But I encourage you, and I'm going to encourage myself to look at your morning routine with a fresh and critical eye. Here's why Your morning routine should represent who you want to become, not who you are right now. See, every single day when you wake up, the clock resets and you get another chance to wake up and take action and show up for yourself and for what you want your life to look and feel like.

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And that's why what you're about to hear, it begins with some tough love psych. Before we get into that incredible tough love, I got to give you some tough love. I need you to subscribe. One of my big goals and dreams this year is to get to the point where 50% of the people that watch this channel are subscribers. It really, really, really helps. And I know you're going to really, really, really love this episode. So hit subscribe so we can get on with teaching you how to literally own your mornings. Awesome. Let's do this. Today we're going to talk about the topic of morning routines. And I love my morning routines so much. I call it the million dollar morning because it is in fact the morning routine that makes me feel like a million bucks. It gives me laser focus, it helps me make progress, and it is the structure and foundation upon which I chip away at my goals and I stay consistent and I have built the business and continue to build the business that I have built.

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And I'm getting a lot of questions about that. And so today we're going to focus on the components of a million dollar morning routine. And these are all based on research. And the thing I want you to think about is this, I really believe in something called behavioral activation therapy and said very simply, behavioral activation therapy is the concept that if you want to change, if you want to be a better, you just start acting like the person that you want to be in the future right now in your to day-to-day life, that the actions that you take today are what will turn you into the person that you want to become. And look, I know you have a vision for yourself. There is a version of you that you hold in your heart and in your mind that you see that is a better version of the person than you are right now.

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The you that has a better, more fulfilling job or career, the you that is truly enjoying a deeper connection in your relationship or marriage, the you that has better eating habits, better physical habits, the you that really is experiencing a better connection to the meaning and purpose in your life, that life that you envision, you're capable of achieving it. You can do the work to make that version of yourself a reality, but it's not going to happen out of thin air. You got to put in the work. And I personally believe that that work begins first thing in the morning, that every single morning you can wake up and experience a clean slate. You can wake up and you can create a morning routine, not that the you right now likes, but the morning routine that the future you needs. And the bottom line is whether you consider yourself to be a morning person or not, a morning routine is essential.

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A morning routine is like the first domino. Let's just agree that every single day of your life, you wake up and you have the opportunity to create a new experience in your life. And that first series of decisions that you make, which are basically your morning routine, it's like the beginning domino that falls. And if your morning routine sucks, like my RO routine used to suck, the first domino that falls in your day is procrastination, stress, anxiety, depression, suckiness. And that tends to trigger a lot more of that. Now, let's talk about the other option. Have you ever had a morning where you rolled out of bed because you had to be somewhere, you actually met a friend at the gym, and the exercise class was not only not that bad, it was kind of fun and you felt really energized and proud of yourself for going, and you were set up for the meeting that you had, you were prepared.

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What's it like when that domino falls? It feels good, doesn't it? It makes you feel confident and alive and proud of yourself. It kind of creates this energy and this motion in your life. And that brings me to a simple statement. The solution to almost all the problems in your life is your morning routine. If you were to get serious about creating a morning routine that makes you feel like a million bucks, that sets you up with the structure and momentum and positive choices that act like a domino that send you into your day feeling like you have started the day off with a bang, checking the right boxes, getting it done, feeling proud, putting yourself first. Imagine how the rest of your day flows. You see how you set your day up is how it ends up. Say it again. How you set your day up is how it ends up.

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And if you are serious about making more money or making change stick or getting things done or just feeling happier or finally learning how to put yourself on the list, let's get laser focused on your morning routine. Because when you get laser focused on your morning routine and setting yourself up for success from the get-go, it's pretty amazing what flows from there. And so before we get into the components of my million dollar morning, I want to tell you about the old Mel. And for those of you that listened to the episode that we did about how to create an evening routine that truly sets you up for success in the morning, you have heard part of this, but the old Mel was a complete flipping disaster. I don't even recognize the sad sack of a human being that I used to be. 

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But you're not procrastinating on a paper. You're not procrastinating on a project. You're not procrastinating on a call or a chore. You're procrastinating on your fucking life. You're basically going, the first decision I'm going to make today in this miraculous thing called life is to not do it. I'm just going to avoid it altogether. I have the option to make the most of this time. I have the option to put myself first. I have the option to move my body to practice mindfulness, to go outside and listen to the birds. But you know what I think I'm going to do? I think I'm going to procrastinate. I think I'm going to avoid it. I think I'm going to roll over. I think I'm going to just opt out. And for me, I can now see that since the first decision I made was to avoid doing what I needed to do, it's so fucking obvious why I was a chronic procrastinator because I began every day like that.

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And as you hit the snooze button and you avoid facing your life and you avoid facing the day, you're not feeling confident, you're not feeling energized, you're not feeling in control and empowered. You are basically embodying your excuses, your fears, your anxiety, your frustration, your fatigue. 

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It begins in the morning. You hit the snooze button four or five times. That was me. I'd stare at the ceiling, think about my problem, snooze, snooze, snooze, and the rest of the day, guess what else I was doing? Snooze, snooze, snooze on the problems, avoiding the phone call I needed to make. That's hitting the snooze button on that, avoiding the networking I needed to do. That's hitting the snooze button there, avoiding the hard conversation I needed to have. That's hitting the snooze button there, blowing off the gym another snooze button. It's not just about how you wake up, it's how you wake up, how you set up the day. That's how it ends up the snooze button. That is just one example of the series of disastrous choices I would make for myself. Whether it was hitting the snooze button five or six times, waking up late, not giving myself enough time, skipping breakfast, never having time to exercise, never being organized about anything.

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It was just honestly a nightmare. And I always say, you are one decision away from a different life. And one of the things that has changed my life is deciding that I didn't want to do that anymore. That hitting the snooze button every single morning was not going to help me change my life. 

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It's a game changer because there will be many mornings when you wake up where you're not going to be feeling it. There are going to be lots of periods in your life where your anxiety may spike or you're struggling with grief or depression and being able to come back to this simple morning routine, it's almost like a way to create guardrails on the road of your life that these are simple things that you know can rely on so that you feel like yourself no matter what's going on within you or around you. And when I start to think about my morning routine, not in the lane of we're in the military or I'm a Navy seal, or I'm training for a marathoner, this is what billionaires do, which is one of our most popular YouTube titles. It's not even my title. Somebody took a bunch of my videos and mashed it up into something and was like the morning routine of billionaires.

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But when you think more about your morning routine, it's just a simple series of promises that make you you that no matter where you are, no matter what you're going through, that these simple series of promises are things that you do every day to start your day, to take care of yourself, to set yourself up, to get the ball rolling, to put yourself first, to tap into your energy, to boost your mood, that these simple series of promises are going to create some simple discipline in your life that you can rely on, that you know that you're the kind of person that if you say you're going to do it, you do it. That is the greater power. In a morning routine, yes, it will set your day up for success. Yes, it is the first domino to fall, but over time, what I have found to be really interesting about your morning routine is it makes you more of you.

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Okay, here we go. Hey, it's your friend Mel, and do not skip this because I have something to give you for free. No kidding. Say goodbye to 2023. Let's say hello to 2024. Make it the best year ever. I have a free 29 page workbook. I made this for you to thank you for being here on YouTube, watching all of our videos, supporting our work. I'm going to help you answer what you want in 2024, and then more importantly, you're going to create a plan to go get it. Then I'll be here on YouTube motivating you every step of the way, you and me, baby. Let's create the best year ever. Just click the link, boom. I'll take you to the page. You'll have this puppy in your hands in less than a minute, and be right back here with YouTube for me to motivate you. I love you. Let's do this. Simple rules for a simple million dollar. Morning number one, when the alarm rings, get your ass out of bed.

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Look, it's your friend, Mel. I know there's a million reasons not to get out of bed, but Mel, it's 30 degrees, it's dark, it's raining, it's cold, it's depressing. I got a lot going on. I stayed up late. I'm exhausted. I'm hung over. I'm tired. My stress is through the, none of that matters. The only thing that matters is do you keep the promises that you make to yourself? And how do you do that? I'll tell you how you do that. You're going to use my five second rule. 

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If I have the choice any day of the week to lay in a warm, cozy, amazing bed with bamboo, silky sheets and my husband sleeping next to me or roll out a bed into the cold bedroom and start my day, I will choose the warm bed every day of the week. But that's not the conversation you and I are having, are we? We're not talking about comfort. We're talking about simple discipline. We're talking about the promises that you need to start to make. We're talking about doing things that are hard and uncomfortable. Why? Because you deserve to have the life that you want. And sometimes feeling like a million bucks for the whole day means you got to feel like shit for about five seconds. And that's what it's going to take. And this is also about keeping promises. If you can't rely on yourself to get up when the alarm rings, how the hell are you going to rely on yourself to do the really hard stuff, to have the hard conversation, to blow off the party and work on your resume to get serious about your songwriting career or the second act that you want to create?

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Or finally meeting somebody who's not got so much childhood trauma that you're their therapist and not your lover. If you can't roll out of bed simply because you said you would, when the going gets really rough, you're going to bail on yourself, which is why getting up when the alarm ring matters. Now there's a second reason why. So the first reason is you're building a level of integrity. You're keeping that promise. The second reason why I don't want you to sit there and lay in bed, and I want you to get your ass out of bed when the alarm rings is because let's just between friends talk about what we're doing as we're laying there in bed, we're looking at social media. We're indulging our anxiety.

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We're experiencing trauma triggers. We are riding the wave of cortisol and stress hormones that are flooding through our brain and body. We're bemoaning the hangover. We feel we're spinning negative thoughts about the day ahead or the stuff we didn't do or all the regrets we have because we can't remember what happened last night. That's what you're doing in bed, let's be honest with each other. Is that what the new you wants to do? Of course not. That's the other reason why when the alarm rings, rule number one to the million dollar morning, get your ass out of bed. Why? Because you're a winner and you got no time to lay in bed like a loser like Mel Robbins used to be. And listen to that bullshit and feel those awful feelings. Get your fucking ass out of bed and get on with your day and show your body whose boss.

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And don't indulge that bullshit in your mind because the longer you listen to it, the louder it's going to get. And look, I get it. Some days it's really hard. I don't give a shit. All that negative stuff is lying to you. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Shut it down and get your ass up. Because the fact is, if you want a new life, you're going to have to fight for it. If you want a million dollars in the bank and financial freedom, you're going to have to work for it. This stuff isn't easy, but it's simple, but you have to do it. So number one, alarm rings ass out of bed. And here's the final thing I want to talk about when it comes to this. Why are you doing this? You're doing it for you.

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You see, I think for years and years and years you were getting out of bed for other people. Think about it when you were little, when would you get up? You would get up because mom was yelling at you two or dad was yelling at you two. You were getting up because you had to get to school or make the bus or get to work, or you get out of bed because you got to get the kids up, or you get your aging parents up. That ends today. Today when that alarm rings, it is a fucking wake up call. Ding, ding, ding. Your life is here and it's time for you to get up for you. So tomorrow morning, we're not waking up for somebody else. We're not laying in bed and listening to that bullshit. Because you get to make a choice. You can choose to do what you've always done, which means you're going to have what you've always had, or you can make a choice to show up as the new.

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You can make a promise that you're going to not only wake up, you're going to get up for yourself, that my friend are going to become the driver of your life. And that bullshit story, I'm not a morning person. Fuck morning people. Who cares. This is not about whether or not you feel like it. This is about you building the discipline because you deserve to because that's the kind of person that you are. And let's also tell one more truth. If I needed you, you would get your ass out of bed for me. If somebody that you loved needed you to set that alarm an hour earlier because they needed a ride to the airport or they needed somebody to go to a doctor's appointment, or heck, they just needed you to be there for them, you would do it. And so today, starting today, I want you to do it for yourself. And if you can't do that, then let me tell you the science, okay? You want to know the scientific reason why you should never hit the snooze button? Let me hit you with some neuroscience here. Two words. Sleep inertia. That's right. Sleep inertia. When you hit the snooze button, instead of getting your ass out of bed, you mistakenly create a condition in your brain called sleep inertia. Sleep inertia is a state that your brain gets trapped in for four hours after you hit the snooze button. Because here's what happens when you hit the snooze button.