5 Fun Ideas to Shake Up Your Life & Get Out of a Rut

(00:57):

If I could just snap my fingers and put us both on a beach in Bali, like boom, there we are laying on the sand. Oh my God, wouldn't that be amazing? Of course it would be amazing, but let's be honest, we don't have the time to just leave our life behind right now. Jump on a plane and go halfway around the world. So here's what we're going to do instead. I'm going to teach you my favorite trick to shaking up your life. It's a little game, and I play this game all the time. It is exactly what you need right now and what I love about it doesn't have to cost a thing. It is right in front of your face just waiting for you to see it. All you need is 30 minutes and the willingness to walk out your front door and the game begins.

(02:39):

You know I'm right. And the second reason why I love this game never been there, never done that is because you shouldn't have to wait until you have the time and the money to go on a vacation far away. You shouldn't have to wait to be able to escape your day-to-day life. I was just talking with my colleague Tracy, who is the executive producer of this podcast, and she was sharing this story that I know is going to resonate with you. So this weekend she was with her family and everyone was gathering around and they were talking about all of these possible places that they could go away on vacation together. Let's go to the Caribbean. How about Patagonia? Wouldn't it be fun to go on safari? I've always wanted to go to Greece. You've done that with your family, right? I mean, it's really fun.

 

(03:24):

It's amazing to put together a big wishlist, but it's going to take you two years to save the money and block everybody's calendars. I mean, if you're anything like my family or Tracy's family, there's one weekend this summer that your family can actually find overlapping dates to be able to get to the same beach together. And so planning a big amazing trip to the Caribbean or to go on safari or go somewhere you've never been before, having something like that off in the distance, it is so important and you should do that. But here's the thing, it's off in the distance. I mean, Tracy and I were just laughing because you want to know what happened with her family at the end of this amazing dream vacation brainstorming session. They had a fun time brainstorming, but there was no vacation planned. Why? Well, because there's not a single date this year that works for anybody.

 

(04:21):

And if you really take a second and you stop and think about your own life, modern life is really busy. I mean, what if I told you that you could do something that is almost as fun as going away on vacation in the next seven days? You could create your own adventure playing this game. Never been there, never done that. And so that's what we're going to do. And by the end of this podcast, you are going to have generated your own bucket list of things to do and experience in your own backyard. And the way that I'm going to teach you how to do this is I will walk you through five different prompts that are going to make you really think about all the different ways that you can explore your own neighborhood or your own city or the varying towns around you.

 

(05:08):

And you are going to make a never been there, never done that list. You don't have to do it one day. Whatever ends up on the never been there, never done that list, this is something you can pick from once a week from now until the end of the year to keep shaking up your life because the 

(05:59):

When you go to a place you've never been to, when you do the thing that you've never done, you are going to feel like a different person. I do this all the time. Trust me. You're going to see. And so I want you to start this process by just thinking about where you live. Maybe you live in a rural area like I do, and you constantly say to yourself, there's nothing to do around here. Or maybe you live in the suburbs and it's like boring. You basically go to those big chopping areas where the big box stores are, or you do the same things or maybe you live in a big city, but you really only stick to your neighborhood in the big city wherever it is that you live in the world, there is so much under your nose just waiting to be discovered.

 

(06:45):

I once heard somebody describe the area that I live in, very, very rural area. On the outside it looks like there isn't squat to do where I live, but what this person said is she's like, mm, it's very deceiving. You look around, you don't see anything. It's sort of like walking by an ant hill, right? You literally see an ant hill and you're like, that's a little mound of dirt. Nothing interesting going on there. Not true. You look inside an ant hill, holy cow, there's a whole world and vibrancy. Same thing about your own backyard. See, the problem is that you drive by the same things. You do the same stuff and you are missing what is hidden underneath the surface. Something that is waiting for you to unlock all the hidden gems to discover in your own backyard. And if you think about your life experience, I bet you know that this is true.

 

(07:39):

So I'm going to tell you a story to just prove my point. I remember when I moved from the Boston area where my husband and I had lived with our three kids for 26 years up to a rural area in southern Vermont. It wasn't until I left the Boston area that I realized I didn't take advantage of absolutely everything that the greater Boston area had to offer. I didn't explore it. I didn't care about it. I mean, I went to the same three restaurants. I went to the same coffee shop. I almost never went to Fenway Park. I bet I went to the MFA, the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston once or twice in 26 years. Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, the one where there was that huge art heist, maybe once or twice. I never even made it out to the Harbor Islands for the day.

 

(08:35):

I mean, I could go on and on and on. And come to think of it, we moved to this area in southern Vermont, the place that I now live for 28 years. But let me paint a picture for how little I actually knew about the area. We would drive up there occasionally to go visit my in-laws. We would arrive Friday night after work, we'd put the kids to bed. We would wake up at their house, we would have breakfast at the house with the family, and then we would either go hike or Chris would play golf or we would go to one of the two ski resorts that are in the area, and then we would come back, we'd have dinner at the house with family, and then we would drive back to Boston on Sunday morning. So for all those years when we would go up to Vermont for a weekend, this was our routine.

 

(09:18):

We never went out to eat other than running to a grocery store, we never really went shopping or did anything. So when our son turned to us four years ago and said, I want to move to Southern Vermont, I turned to him and I was like, Southern Vermont. What? There's nothing. I mean, that is a place where people go to die. There's nothing to do there. I'm not moving there, and I couldn't have been more wrong. It's just like my new friend said, any place that you live has a vibrant active community like an anthill, so much going on, you're just passing by. You don't see what's beneath the surface. In fact, right near where I live is the National Fly Fishing History Museum. 28 years I've been driving past this place, never step foot in there. So guess what? It's going on the list.

 

(10:11):

It's something I could do this weekend. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. I mean, my colleague Jesse is always raving about this amazing garden center. She says it just goes on for miles and miles and it is so incredible. I'd never even heard of it, never been there, never done that. I'm going to add it to the list. There's also this place where there's this cross country ski complex where they light the trails with candles. I mean, how fricking cool is that? Never been there, never done it. Add it to the list. Here's another one. And in fact, this is what I love about this game. You are so into your routine of going to the same three restaurants. You haven't even been looking around at all the cool things. And once you start to open your mind to this, you're going to see it everywhere.

 

(10:52):

Just like I'm seeing it everywhere. There are all these women that I now know since I've lived in southern Vermont for four years, who all go to the same CrossFit gym. Never been there, never done that. Adding it to the list. And here's another one. I've just heard that there's a new woman who teaches a bar class on Tuesday nights. She's supposed to be fantastic. She moved to the area, never even been to the studio. She's teaching. I didn't even know it was there. So are you starting to get a sense of what a fun game this is good because starting right now, you and me, we are starting are never been there, never done it adventure together. Now, I've already added five things to my list, and so we're going to keep on having some fun and we're going to start adding things to your list because the whole point is for you to shake things up, to become more connected, more adventurous, to live a more purposeful life, to explore a little, to shake things up and have a whole lot more fun.

 

(11:50):

And if you've opened up every door in your teeny tiny little town, just go one town over or go one neighborhood over or one city block over and you're going to find a whole new world to explore. Before we talk about these five different types of things you're going to add to the list. Let's just dig into the science because there's great science to explain why this never been there, never done that adventure game thing is so awesome. And the two areas of research that explain the power of the never been there, never done it list have to do with goal setting and something called habitation. And I'm going to take 'em one at a time. 

(12:42):

Things that you can do in your own backyard, making a goal and doing it, it does two important things. First of all, a goal of something you're going to do, it gives you a sense of direction. And second, it defines a game that's worth playing. See, when you make this list, you're defining micro goals for yourself and that helps you shake up your life. You're making this action-oriented plan that helps you lift yourself out of the day-to-day autopilot, do the same old stuff all the time, and it creates more meaning and excitement in your life. And I want you to just really stop and consider what I'm saying to you right now. Let's just roll the clock forward. It's Saturday morning, okay, you got no plan, you roll out bed, what are you going to do me? Whatever the wind takes me, I'm just going to wake up and kind of figure it out.

 

(13:39):

You know what you're going to do? You're going to go to the grocery store, you're going to run all the same errands. You're going to get stuck in the house doing chores. You might stop at the place. You always get coffee. Next thing you know, Saturday's over, same old, same old. Well, guess what? The wind is picking up and it's blowing you right into your Never been there, never done it adventure. Just imagine it's Saturday morning, you've listened to this podcast, you've got this long list of things on the list, and you wake up and you say, oh my gosh, I'm going to go check out that new nursery today. Or Oh my gosh, I'm going to go to the fly fishing museum today. You know what you just did? You made that Saturday more meaningful and you deserve to feel that and your never been there, never done that list is going to help you do it.

 

(14:30):

Now, the second piece of research that I want to unpack for you is all about excitement. And I'm going to ask you specifically, this is not one of those podcast episodes to just listen to, okay? I want you to do something with this. So as you're listening, if you've got the ability to write down your list and jot little notes as I've been talking, do it. If you're not able to make a list because you're driving a car or you're busy walking and taking me on a walk with you, which I love, love, love seeing all the pictures that you guys post as you're listening to the podcast and you don't have a pen, no problem. When you're done with your walk or you're done driving, just make sure that you take the time to jot down some notes and you keep a list because check out this research based on the research.

(16:10):

You don't stop and smell the roses or check out the flowers blooming. This is why we crave a vacation. We want to escape. You think I got to go to Bali? I got to go on a retreat. I got to get on a vacation. Yeah, you do need to get away. And what I'm going to tell you is simply shaking up your routine is all that research says you need to do because when you get into that slump of the ho hums, you're experiencing a phenomenon that researchers called habitation. Now, this research is so powerful that I've dedicated an upcoming episode to the topic of habitation, the research around habitation, which basically means your routine is slowly killing you. And you're going to learn firsthand from an MIT neuroscientist that habituation, which basically means you've gotten so used to your routine, the same three restaurants, the same commute, the same stores that you go into, the same stuff you buy at the grocery store, the same five meals that you cook at home.

 

(17:16):

This is why something that can seem awesome on a Monday is suddenly boring on a Friday. This is why if you go to your favorite restaurant and you order the same dish over and over and over again, by the 20th time you've had the homemade bolognese, it doesn't taste as great as it did the first time. Routines are great for locking in a habit, but when your life becomes too routine, it loses its sparkle. And you know that this is true. It's why the person that you were madly love with not so sparkly after a couple of years, your beautiful backyard, not so sparkly, those breathtaking work of art, if you stare at it for five years, not so sparkly, why? Because you're used to it. Habitation just means you're so used to your life. You stop noticing the most wonderful and beautiful things about your life.

 

(18:11):

And that brings me to another reason why I love never been there, never done that adventures. It's a way you can see your own life, your own backyard, as if it's brand new. It's a way for you to shake things up and regain a sense of wonder about all the great things in your life that are right under your nose. This isn't just another Saturday. This is a Saturday where you're shaking things up, where you're exploring and based on decades of psychological biological sciences. It's the key to seeing, feeling and noticing things again. And that key is change by changing your environment, changing up the rules, changing the people you interact with, changing your routine, changing your commute, or even just stepping back and imagining the changes that you're going to make by creating this list and doing all these things that you've never done before.

 

(19:06):

You're shaking things up instinctively. You know, need to shake things up when you crave an escape from your life. But based on the research, you don't have to go halfway around the world. You can do it in your own backyard. You and I don't need to find the time and the money to leave our life and go halfway around the world. All you need to do, create this list, create this list with me, create this list with me, and then one by one, week by week, just check 'em off because it's so vital to have meaning, adventure and wonder in your life, and you can do it starting today. So are you ready to begin? You're never been there, never done that adventure. Great. 

(20:53):

My husband and I have never talked about this On the podcast, we used to have a little retail store. It was a paint your own pottery studio where you would go in with your kids and sit down and paint mugs and bowls and then we would fire them in a kiln. You'd pick 'em up a week later. Everybody loved it. It didn't make any money at all. And it was our first kind of dip our toe in the water of being entrepreneurs together. And this would've been, I mean, our kids were little. This would've been 20 years ago. And even though I was a store owner on the main street that's two and a half blocks long, I still didn't go into every one of the neighboring stores. How insane is that? But it's true. You're the same way. And if you think about your town or the neighboring town, maybe it's a thrift store or a clothing store, or heck, maybe there's a small grocery store you've never checked out, or it's a store that you don't even know what the heck it is or what they sell, but you just drive by it.

 

(21:52):

You've always kind of thought, oh, I should stop in there. We all have a store like that. Maybe it's somebody who resells old cars and you drive by and you're like, oh, I need to stop by and check that out. You've never stopped in and walked the lot. Or maybe it's a neighboring town and they've got a farmer's market, but their farmer's market is on Thursdays and yours is on Saturdays, and you always go to the Saturday one. Why not go to the one on Thursday? Maybe there are different farms there. Maybe they have live music. Maybe there's something really cool that's going to happen when you shake things up. Maybe it's just about mixing up your routine. And if you really opened up every door in your town, you have no idea what would happen when you walk through that open door. And here's the other thing.

 

(22:40):

In the modern world, you know what we do all day? We online shop. That's what we default to. But what about going in person? I mean, it's so much more fun. It's so fun to just tap into that instinct to hunt and to gather and to check things out and to talk to the local shop owners and turn things over and take it all. In fact, when I was driving down here this morning from Vermont to get to our studios here in Boston, we were on Route two, which runs from west to east in Massachusetts, and we were in Western Massachusetts. And as we were driving down Route two, I pointed out to my colleague Jesse, who was in the car with me, Hey, if you ever need an incredible wooden salad bowl, that place right there makes the most extraordinary bowls. And so we're flying down Route two at 50 miles per hour.

 

(23:28):

And Jesse's like, how the hell did you know that that place sells salad bowls? And I was like, well, because I used to drive up to Vermont for 26 years and I would always pass this place. And when the stores open, they always have these big wooden bowls sitting out on the front lawn and they've got a hand-painted sign that says handmade wooden bowls. And one year after passing it for almost two decades, I pulled in, I walked in and it, they don't just make wooden salad bowls. I mean, this place has been on Oprah's favorite list for wooden salad bowls for several years. I mean, who fricking knew the place looks like a shack from the road. And now it's become my go-to wedding gift. So you're starting to catch on, right? That it's all around you, just waiting for you to slow down and discover it.