6 Powerful Mindset Shifts That Will Change Your Life

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Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so excited that you're here. I'm fired up for the conversation today. I have so many stories to tell you, so you better buckle up and pull that seatbelt tight because we are going to go on a wild ride today. And I want to start by saying it is always an honor to be able to spend time together with you. I can't wait to tell you the stories that I'm going to share and the six lessons I want to unpack for you. If you're new to the podcast, I also wanted to take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins podcast family. I am so glad that you're here with me and because you made the time to listen to this particular episode today, here's what I know about you.

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You're not only the kind of person who values your time, but you made the time to listen to this. So you got to be somebody who wants more out of your life. You're looking for the lessons that are going to help you to squeeze more out, take more risks today. That's exactly what's going to happen. And if you're here listening because someone in your life shared this conversation with you, that is so cool because they believe in your ability to do things that you're afraid of. They believe in your ability to do big things, big things that maybe you've never done before. And they know that the conversation today is going to give you the kick in the rear end and the encouragement that you need. And I think it's so cool you have people in your life like that.

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And I'm so excited to take you behind the scenes and tell you the crazy stories and put you right in those moments where the stress and the nerves and the fear was paralyzing. But I have to say this first leg of Let Them, the tour is one of the highlights of my entire life. I will literally be on my deathbed and look back at this as one of the greatest things I've ever experienced. And it's not just because I got to experience it with my daughters, but it's because of how it stretched me. It's because of the things that went wrong. It's because I put myself in a situation that was so outside my comfort zone and anything that I had ever done. And whenever you do that, you not only surprise yourself, but life surprises you back. This tour was exactly that. I cannot wait to get back out on tour in 2026 and see you and come to your city and have you experience this too.

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I just wanted to say that because I'm going to harp on the bad stuff and how scary it was and all that stuff. But this truly was magical. And that's a big takeaway and it's why I want to push you because when you do put yourself in a situation that forces you to stretch and grow, going to college, breaking up, starting a new job, moving to a new city, anytime you've done that, you become a better version of yourself. And that's my mission with our conversation today. Because you have something right now that you know want to try that is completely out of your comfort zone, period. It's true. Stop and think about it. There's somewhere in your life where you're playing small or there's some aspect that you're just sticking to what's familiar. Oh, I'll do that in a couple years. Oh, I like watching other people do this online.

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Maybe someday I'll do what I see other people doing online. But there's a part of you that really wants to do it for some reason though, you just can't get yourself to do it. I believe the best things in life come from doing the things you don't believe that you can do. The things that the little voice in the back of your head is constantly talking you out of whether you want to start a YouTube channel, but no, people might judge you. Everybody else has a YouTube channel. What am I going to say? What if it doesn't work? Or maybe you want to take a dance class or you think you're a terrible dancer. Funny enough, I was in a new yoga studio this weekend where I live in Vermont and they're offering these hip hop and shuffle dance classes. And the first thing I thought is, oh my gosh, I'd really love to do that.

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But then you want to know the second thing I thought, oh, I'm a terrible dancer. I couldn't go to a class to learn to dance. There are so many things in this category. Maybe you want to start volunteering, but you don't know how to get started. You want to write a book, but you think everybody else has already said what you want to say. You want to go on a date, but oh, what if they say no, you want to start your own business, but oh, what if I fail? All these things that you want to do that you're afraid of, that you're nervous. These are the biggest opportunities for growth and fun and stretching yourself and learning more about yourself. And so today I'm going to teach you exactly how you can conquer these things in your life step by step because I'm going to share with you these six mindset shifts and lessons that helped me go from I can't do this.

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Why did I sign up to do this? To going, oh my gosh, I'm doing this. There's a huge difference between the Mel Robbins that was on this planet before the Let Them Tour and the person that is your friend Mel Robbins post tour. And it's because of these six things that I learned doing something that I didn't think that I can do. If you can just take everything I'm about to pour into you the funny stories, the lessons that I learned, the crazy twists and turns that I'm about to bring you backstage and behind the scenes, if you can take all this to heart, it will help you take the leap. And I promise you, you are going to surprise yourself with what you are truly capable of. I mean, just like that doll can stretch beyond your wildest dreams, you can stretch into a new version of you.

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Now, you may be thinking, Mel, why would you be nervous about going on a tour? Woman, you were a motivational speaker for 10 years. You were on some of the biggest stages around the world. You gave speeches for life. You have this podcast, you're talking to a camera and into a microphone right now. Mel, you record all the time. I don't really believe you going on a tour with something you were afraid of. I mean, isn't that kind of the same thing I thought it was? But let me tell you something, going on tour is a completely different animal than recording a podcast or even giving a speech. Think about speeches. When I was hired to give a speech, and I'm still hired to give speeches for some of the biggest brands around the world, it's somebody else's event. You basically show up and they hand you an hour and I hand them my presentation and then they give me a clicker, and then I go on the stage and I do my thing and then I leave.

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And that's it. When you go on tour, you're responsible for everything. You're creating your own event. From the very beginning, absolutely everything. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

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In fact, I might've said something very arrogant in the first meeting. Oh guys, this is going to be a breeze. I give speeches for a living. I know what we're doing here. We got a great team. We do production for a living. This is going to be great. And I just kind of envisioned, okay, we would get a bunch of theaters, there would be a couple thousand people out there and I'd walk out and I'd give a speech. But as we started planning it with this world-class production team, and here's the thing, I didn't hire a team that does small speeches. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't even realize it, but I did it bigger from the start. We hired a team that does stadium tours for famous musicians. I mean, we brought in the big guns. So I'm sitting in this meeting and I'm thinking, okay, I know how to do this.

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I know I've been on other people's tours where they've interviewed me on stage, I've been on stages. And as we're planning it, Marcus, I'm going to blame Marcus. There's always somebody in your life that makes you go bigger Today, your friend Mel Robbins is going to make you go bigger. But damn it was Marcus who in the meeting said, look, Mel, I can't do the Australian accent. He actually has an Australian accent, which would make it sound a lot better. But he was literally like, look, I can't do it. It's embarrassing. So he goes, look, you're a fantastic speaker. I've been watching your speeches on YouTube. You could absolutely just roll onto that stage, Mel, and you could light the place on fire and you could give an incredible speech and people would leave and go, oh, that was really great and I feel really inspired. Or you could bring the stories of your life and the lessons that you want to share to life and do theater and leave people gobsmacked.

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And when he said that, you know what? I said, let's do that. Let's do that. It sound fun to go bigger. And you and I are just sitting around. Aren't we waiting for permission from someone else to say, Hey, you should do that bigger. Hey, you should swing for the fences. Hey, I think you could stretch a little bit more. And I got lucky because Marcus dared me to do it bigger. And that's the first lesson. It's an invitation for me to you. I dare you to do it bigger. Now, here's the problem. In my defense, I had no idea what I was agreeing to seriously when I said yes, let's gobsmack people. Yes, let's bring this to life. Yes, let's do theater. Let's have sets. Let's do all the things and just have people be completely blown away because they weren't expecting this. I didn't really understand what I was saying yes to.

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And that's the beauty of this lesson. What if you did it bigger because you don't know what you're saying? Yes to you. You've never done it bigger. And so I literally didn't even understand you guys because I just kept saying as we're marching toward the opening night and I keep getting requests like, okay, we need all the graphics, we need the visuals, we need the videos done, we need this, we need that. And I was so chill. I didn't understand that we were doing it bigger. I literally thought, oh, no problem. The show is Thursday night. We can send them this stuff on Tuesday. We can roll in their Wednesday afternoon. We can do a quick rehearsal. I got my clicker in the PowerPoint, oh my God, because I didn't know what I had signed up for when I showed up for rehearsal in Boston at the Wang Theater. So we're talking Wednesday afternoon.

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The reality of doing it bigger hit me. And the feeling that you have when you realize I have bit off more than I can chew is there were 30 crew members running around. There were hundreds of these huge black cases of equipment that I've only seen it like a Taylor Swift or a Kendrick Lamar concert. They were rolling this stuff around, oh my gosh. They were assembling this huge LED screen that took up the entire stage. There were lighting racks, there were haze machines. They were building a platform for a bed that I was using. There were sets. They were marking the stage so that they had the camera shots because we had three cinematic cameras that filmed the whole thing. And there was a director that was calling. And all of a sudden it occurred to me, oh my God, this isn't a speech.

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I actually have to know the show because I've got to be at a certain spot on the stage at a certain time and they're marking it and I don't even know my lines for a show about my own life. That's when it hit me. We have one day until we have to do this show. It is three o'clock in the afternoon on a Wednesday. They're building the sets. We haven't even rehearsed this thing. Hell, we're still writing the show. The crew is starting to get really nervous because they're now realizing Mel Robbins has been telling us for a month that she's a pro at this and she doesn't even know her own show. So it was stress diarrhea for three days straight. That's how panic-stricken I was. The bathroom in my green room smelled like a porta-potty at a construction site. And we did our rehearsal on Wednesday.

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It was terrible. Everybody was super nervous. We woke up the next day on Thursday, so this is going to be opening night, opening night. And the first night I got to say, we went on, it went over a half an hour over schedule. The slides got stuck. At one point I accidentally disconnected myself from my microphone. We finished the show. And you want to know my first thought after going bigger? I thought, I hate this. I woke up Friday morning, I called my husband Chris. I was in a complete state of panic and I said, I can't do this. I can't do the show. I'm not built for acting. I don't know why I didn't just do a speech. I don't know why I dragged our daughters into this. They don't want to be here either. The show last night, the audience loved it. I didn't like it.

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I don't want to do this again. And I got to give props to Chris because he said to me, Mel, get your ass off this phone and get back to that theater. And you get back on that stage and you go rehearse and make it better. And look, I want to be clear about something. The show wasn't bad. I'm talking about my experience of what it felt like to stretch myself and do something new. We had half of the team from 1 4 3 studios. That's my company. They produced the podcast. Half our team was there. After the show, everybody came back and were like, oh my God, that was unbelievable. You're hilarious. The show's amazing. And I'm like, it was durable. It was too long. They were like, don't cut anything. And I'm like, we couldn't hear you laughing. Are you sure? It was funny. Oh my God, it was hysterical.

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We didn't know you were that. I couldn't believe you were doing skits. And so your experience of what it's going to feel like when you do something big or you stretch yourself is not going to match what other people experience when they watch you doing it. The thing that's incredible about going bigger is that once you commit, you're in it. Once the stretching starts, oh man, is it painful? You are going to be so mad that you said yes to these things. And here's the thing though, by Saturday night, I got to tell you something. I thought, I love this. I love this tour. I love the experience of it. I love the creativity of it. I love so much about this. I just want to quit the podcast. I want to quit everything. I just want to tour. And I never would've had that realization if I hadn't committed to going bigger and if I hadn't just jumped on that roller coaster and let it rip.

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I mean, the truth is how many times have you had that moment where you're like, I can't do this, so I'm not even going to bother. I don't even know if I could make it through that. So I'm not going to put my toe in the water. I mean, if you stop there, I can't do this. Imagine if I had stopped on Friday morning. I'm a really creative person. I could come up with a reason to cancel the tour. I lost my voice. Some reason to, I can't do this. I'm stopping this. But if you stop where you think the edges are, you actually never get to your Saturday night. You never stretch yourself beyond where you are right now. At some point, you have to post the video, you have to sing the song, you have to just give the presentation at work. I could have run for the hills, but I was in the rollercoaster with the bars locked down because we had sold out audiences every night.

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And so this conversation right now is an invitation from your friend Mel. Imagine if you did it bigger and you don't even have to know what that means. I mean, certainly didn't. Clearly based on the story that I'm telling you, maybe you have always wanted to take a dance class, but you're a terrible dancer. And even though there's a studio just 10 minutes from your house, you've never signed up doing it. Bigger means bigger than your fears. Go sign up. In fact, we were just talking about this before the show. The producer on our team Yuna said, oh my God, I've always wanted to be a better dancer. There's this dance studio I want to go to. And the reason she has not gone, oh my God, I would look so bad. Well, that's what we all do. Can't you go bigger in life? Aren't you willing to stretch yourself enough to do it bad just so that you do it?

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I mean, maybe you've been meaning to ask your boss for a raise, but it's been over a year and you still haven't done it. Maybe you've always wanted to be a musician and you spend hours and hours and hours watching everybody else sing and write and put their stuff on social media. You know that all you got to do is start posting covers of you singing on Instagram and TikTok. But every time you film a video, ooh, you don't feel big. You feel small. What if you did a bicker? What if you allowed yourself to be big and you just posted it? When you go bigger, it's just like sit in that seat in the roller coaster and locking yourself in. What is it going to feel like? Say it a little louder. What's it going to feel like when you go bigger? Even when you're an idiot like me and you don't even know what you're agreeing to?

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I'll tell you what it's going to feel like. It's going to be uncomfortable. You're going to feel nervous. You're going to be afraid. Once you're in it, you're going to be going to be like, why the hell did I agree to do this thing? And here's what I want you to know. You have to keep going because you got to get to your Saturday night. You got to do it at least three times in order for you to get through that. I can't do this. I don't like this. This is new. I don't like stretching myself. Oh my God, what are people thinking? Until you get to the point where you're like, oh, wait a minute, this is pretty cool. I kind of get this now. And so you're going to get to your Saturday night. You're going bigger, you're showing up. That's amazing.

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I was nervous. I mean, I already told you I wanted to cancel my own show, but there is this moment where I had to remind myself, Mel, you're starting to take yourself a little too seriously. You're starting to put too much pressure on yourself, Mel, you're not in an emergency room performing heart surgery on somebody that's about to die. How about you take this a little less seriously? How about we dial down the stress? What if you bring the fun? What if you were to loosen up and lean into this? I mean, think about a roller coaster. You got a choice. You can grip your butt cheeks together and hold it all in and scream in terror. Or you can let loose a little bit and have some fun because you know what? You're already in it. I mean, you and I take ourselves so seriously, and that's especially true if you're nervous.

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So what if you not only did it bigger and you did something you'd never done or you did it in a different way, but what if you brought the fun? And so focusing on the fun, what was interesting is night one, I was like stiff. I had rigor mortis on stage. I was walking around like Frankenstein, super stiff. I was trying to remember my marks and my lines and so was my daughter. And the whole goal of having fun, it just helped me loosen up. It helped me bring the fun. And when I started to loosen up, it changed the experience and it changed the feeling that I had. And here's what I discovered. I freaking love physical comedy By night two, instead of saying the lines and talking really stiff and then moving to the smirk, I'm crawling across the stage. I'm crawling all over the table.

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I'm cracking jokes. I'm swaging my arms. I'm letting it loose. Because the more fun you are having, the more fun everybody has around you. So let me ask you that big presentation or that dance class or that open house you're going to hold as a real estate agent or that stuff you're going to do on social media or that person that you admire, that you really want to collaborate with in business or music, how could you bring the fun? And one of the reasons why it's so important to bring the fun is because it's contagious. It's really contagious. One of the coolest things that happened aside from meeting you, and so many fellow listeners from the podcast had flown in from all over the world, is working with a crew that does these massive stadium tours with all these massive, successful, crazy amazing musicians. What was so cool is they're top, top, top professionals.

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They want to do a good job, they value what they're doing. But by the time the tour was over, it was so rewarding to hear them say to us, this was my favorite tour that I've ever done because it was so much fun. And you guys are about family and there's so much growth and stretching that happened. And because you had so much fun, the fun took the tension away. And what happens in an environment where you're having fun? People don't slack off. You know what they do? It's the opposite. People show up with even more excellence. People show up and care more. And so how can you add fun in your life? How can you bring more fun to work? I mean, if you're trying a new yoga class and you fall over because you're trying to do some move for the first time, laugh.

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It's funny. Why do you have to be perfect? If you're with your coworkers on a high stress project, you're already playing big. How about you pause and start high fiving everybody and cracking jokes and lighten in the mood. I mean, even for me saying, well, we're not doing brain surgery here, so let's lighten up and let's have a little bit more fun with this. If you're trying to get into running, how about you create the best playlist ever, ever? Not the old one you've listened to for three years, the one I'm talking about, but you just create something that's like, wow, and you really have fun with it. And if you do, take the dance class, bring a friend so you can look silly together because neither of the steps, let's say you want to start competing. You want to start racing or jiujitsu or anything.

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How about you act like one of those athletes? Pick a theme song, put it on in your headphones, bounce around, get yourself in the mood, have a little bit more fun because when you loosen up, you actually perform better. And bringing the fun changed everything because bringing the fun helped lower the stakes and the self-criticism. Bringing the fun helped me loosen up and lean in to the ride that I was on. And bringing the fun is going to shake things up in your life, in your work and the way that you're doing things too.

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What does that mean? It means before you begin, I want you to imagine how the thing ends. It's a super powerful hack that really sets you up to succeed and it gives you a roadmap for how to show up for things. And let me unpack this. So people have been asking me to go on tour for a long time, but the fact is I just haven't had time to be on the road between launching this podcast and writing the Let Them Theory book and all the other stuff that we do in our business. I'm like, I don't have six weeks to just go on tour, but I really knew I wanted to. And so when we finally said, okay, now's the time. We're going to go on tour, we're going to go to these cities, we're going to try this as just like this little contained experiment.

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I didn't know how it was going to go. And then of course Marcus dared me to go bigger. And I'm like, okay, we'll do a show. And next thing you know, we're basically doing Broadway in a rock and roll concert. And that was a story that I already just told you. But here's one thing is that I was very clear from the moment I said yes about what I wanted it to feel like in the end. And I want you to stop and think about this because this is a really important lesson. Always start with the end. So what does that mean? So here's how you set this up. When the tour was over and all the dust had settled and the crew had gone back home and I was back in Vermont and we were back doing the podcast and just back to normal life, what did I want to have had happened?

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What did we accomplish? And it might surprise you to hear what I didn't say. I didn't say, oh, when the tour's over, I want to have sold out everything. I wanted to make a ton of money. I wanted to make the book even more popular. I wanted to go viral in terms of the videos that people, that wasn't at all what I saw when this thing was over. Here's what I said I wanted to have happen when this was all over, because when you start with the end, you start to recognize what actually matters to you. So number one, I said, well, by the time the tour is over, I want to be proud of the fact that we created this just magical experience from the moment people walked in the front doors, surprise and delight, like just unexpected. What happens that I really wanted people to enjoy this, to be moved by it and inspired to laugh, to walk out of there and go, that was unbelievable.

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And so it was really about that the experience left. People surprise, gobs backed, moved. That was number one. Number two, starting with the end. The second thing that I wanted to do is I wanted the show to get better every single time we did it. And the third thing is I wanted to just have a ton of fun doing it. And that meant not just me. I wanted the whole crew who we had never worked with. I wanted the team, I wanted our audience. I wanted the teams that were at all the venues that we were rolling into. I just wanted it to be fun. And the reason why this lesson start with the end is so important is because it tells you what you're actually measuring for success. And just think about how different somebody operates if they say, oh, I want to sell everything out.

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That's what you're going to measure. That was not on my radar at all. It's really, really important to see the power in this because it informs you how to show up. And so I set all this stuff, and even though you're going to start with the end and say, I want to have a lot of fun. I want the show to get better. I want to have the audience be surprised and delighted, all this stuff, that doesn't mean that's how it's going to feel. That just gives you the guardrails to get yourself back on track. So if you go back to that story, remember I wanted to quit the show. I call Chris, I'm telling him I just want to cancel everything. I hate this thing. And he says, get your butt back over to that theater. And I get to the theater and I call a meeting.

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What do I do? I go to the lesson number three, I think about the end. But if I think about the end, how is this going to turn out? Oh, well, the show's got to get better every night. We got to have a lot of fun. We got to make sure the audience literally is enjoying themselves. That became the guidelines for Friday morning. How do we have more fun? I just want to get this better guys. How do we make the show better? And so I asked everybody for feedback, and then we started cutting lines and trimming the show, and we got coaching about being more physical and that made it better. This tool, start with the end, is something I have used in life, in business, absolutely everything. And I'm going to give you a few examples because this thing is such an amazing mindset hack.

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So let's say you're going into a business meeting or you're going into an interview, start with the end in mind. What does that mean? Here's what that means. When the interview's over or the business presentation is done and you have left the room, what do you want people to be saying about you? When it's over based on how you answer that question, you know exactly how to act. You know what energy to bring, how you should prepare. You know how you should conduct yourself because you've started with the end. And that end vision gives you a guideline for what to actually have your eye on that matters so that you can create that. Let's say you are signing up for that dance class. If you have the end in mind and you've left your first dance, how do you want that to feel? You're clearly not going to feel like a prima ballerina in your first class, but you might feel like that was fun.

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I'm proud of myself. Now you know how to show up. This is all about what you're measuring in life. Too many people, what are they measuring? Oh, they're measuring all the crap, right? Oh, how much money do we make? How many followers drag get? How viral did this thing go? But there's a deeper measurement of success for the thing that you want to do bigger. And maybe the measurement of success is I'm just proud of the fact that I did it, that I survived it, that I got on that roller coaster. I locked in, I screamed for the first half, and then I actually let my hands up and allowed myself to enjoy it. Or maybe you're proud of yourself because going bigger and having fun means that you posted about your business or your art or your music 30 days in a row and you didn't look at followers and you didn't look at comments and you didn't look at views.You looked at the fact that you did it.

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We are loose. We know our marks. We've done the show, so we know what we're doing. We're doing physical comedy. It's hysterical. Oh my gosh, I started to cough on stage and I don't just mean cough a couple times. I mean, I had this weird thing happen where it was like I breathed in, I don't know if that's the right word, but I sucked in some air and it almost like there was a cotton ball in the air that went right in my mouth and hit me on the throat. And so I had the craziest coughing fit I've ever had in my entire life in front of 3,500 people. And I'm not kidding, it went on for about 10 minutes straight. At one point, I was coughing so hard that my eyes were watering, and I'm like, oh, now you know the show's alive. And I start waving at Sawyer who's on stage with me as I'm trying to chug water, and she's like, mom, are you okay?

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I think she thought she was going to have to do the Heimlich maneuver only. I hadn't been eating anything. I even walked off the stage at one point and just waved at Sawyer to just riff while she was talking to the crowd. Meanwhile, everybody's running around trying to make teeth throwing lozenges at me. I've got like 16 throat cough things in my mouth as I'm trying to loosen up the throat so I can get some words out. It was hysterical. And once that went wrong, oh my God, the reason why the Saturday night show was so fantastic is the wheels were off. And once I got my voice back, once you survive a coughing tack, holy cow, you show up and swing for the fences. Because once that happened, oh my God, well, we might as well just take this thing completely off the rails, and that was so fun.

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So how does this apply to you? So let's say you do go to a new gym, which I'm just going to say, if you haven't been to a gym for a long time, it takes a lot of courage to walk into a brand new gym. You don't know anybody. You've maybe never lifted weights, but you have like I'm lifting weights, and after the first rounds of reps, you drop the barbell, it makes a huge sound. Everybody spends and looks at you, okay, something went wrong, take a deep breath, laugh it off, shrug your shoulders. You just made it right. Or you go to a yoga class and you're in one of those inversions and then you fart. It is the most embarrassing thing. Do you know my husband's a yoga instructor? He says, it happens a dozen times a class. Just laugh. Make a joke about what you had for dinner.

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Say nothing. Shrug your shoulders. Not mistake. You can make it right. Or maybe you're giving a big presentation at work and the slides don't load. Oh my gosh, I've had that happen. Things are going wrong. You can make it right. All you do to make it right is go, I cannot believe this is happening. Can you guys give me just a couple minutes while I try to sort this thing out? And that's how you make it, right? Or you just close the laptop and you say, well, this is not going according to plan. So here's what we're going to do. Instead of talking to you for 30 minutes, I'm going to share the main bullet points for 10 minutes and then I'm going to take questions. You just made it right. There you go. You sign up for an open mic and you totally bomb.

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Alright, things went wrong. How do you make it right? You sign up and you do it again. That's it. That's it. You try a new bold outfit and you instantly felt self-conscious. Well, first of all, you now know that when you go bold, you're going to feel like it's terrible. And so you're doing it right. It may feel wrong, but you're actually doing it right. And I think that's the twist on this. When it feels wrong, you're actually doing it right, because that's what it feels like. See, here's the thing about life. Those nerves don't go away. No, they don't. That's part of the ride. The fear is going to keep showing up. And one of the things that I haven't truly put you at the scene at is how much fear. I'm talking like paralyzed panic, stricken fear.