Try This Today: 6 Small Ways to Have More Fun Even When Life Feels Hard

(01:03):

And I want to start out our conversation by reading you this post that came across my feed. It's written by a writer and an editor named Barry Rogers at the Hindu, which is India's national newspaper. Lemme read this post to you. People are not fun anymore. Not in that wild, chaotic laugh till your stomach hurts way. Everyone's just tired, polite, curated. You go out and it's like someone turned the volume down on the entire human race.

(02:05):

It's exhausting. People had quirks, they had ridiculous stories, terrible jokes, a sense of humor that wasn't borrowed from a meme page. Conversations didn't become disclaimers. You could say something stupid and laugh it off. You could be dumb, dorky, deeply unserious, and no one was trying to cancel you for not being aesthetic enough. We need to bring that back. The messy, the unfiltered, fun, the art of talking complete nonsense, the joy of making each other laugh without needing to be clever. Honestly, some of the best conversations happen when you're just being silly and slightly unhinged, not when you're performing your best LinkedIn version of yourself over dinner. That's what's missing. Real people, real personalities, not everything needs to be intellectual or intentional. Sometimes it's okay to talk about the dumbest things. Sometimes a joke is just a joke and sometimes laughing at yourself is the healthiest thing you can do.

 

(03:16):

Bring back the chaos, bring back the nonsense. Bring back the people who interrupt you mid-sentence with an even worse story. Bring back the fun. I don't know about you, but holy cow, did that post really hit home for me? And also just consider, this is a post written by somebody who is probably halfway around the world because they're a writer and editor for India's largest newspaper, which means everybody everywhere is kind of experiencing this, that there's been this massive shift that we're all so weighed down by everything going on in the world. Just stop and think about it, how much time you spend on your phone and you're so focused on how you're being perceived by other people that it just feels like life isn't fun anymore. Plus you're probably exhausted. So fun feels like it's going to be a lot of work. And when you're exhausted, you don't want to do anything that feels like a lot of work.

 

(04:19):

And look, I don't want to have a conversation about fun without saying, look, there's some very real problems in the world, but what we need to talk about is how do you bring back the lightheartedness, the joy, the playfulness, the silliness, the laughter that you and I remember happening? Because fun is not a luxury. It's not something that just is for kids or for birthday parties. Fun's a necessity in life, fun energizes you. It helps you connect with other people. It lowers your stress, it makes you healthier. And I was inspired to talk about this both because of that post that Barry wrote, but also because of my friend Shar. My friend Shar is so fun. I just spent a weekend with her and she inspired me so much because she brings the fun everywhere we go. And so we were spending the weekend together.

 

(05:10):

It was four couples and they signed us up for this three hole, not three hole. It's a nine hole three. No, it wasn't a three par either. See, I don't even really understand golf, but I said, yes, I'm going to say yes, I'm going to go play golf. Everyone else is going and I'm going to have fun. And it was a golf tournament that was nine holes and they had a theme and the theme was the 1970s legends. And so it was not only a tournament, so here I don't play golf, and so immediately I'm like a tournament. I even wrote to the club and was like, are you sure it's okay? I don't even own golf shoes. I can swing a club. I can have a lot of fun. I can drive the cart, but I don't want to be in a tournament where people are going to be super uptight and then they're upset that somebody really terrible.

 

(05:54):

And he's like, no, no, no, no. It's a scramble. I don't even what a scramble means, but I think it means that if you don't play golf, you can play golf. But there was this theme to this golf tournament, and it was 1970s legend. And because Shar was the host and because she is the ambassador of fun, she was like, we're dressing up. Make sure you pack a costume. And so Chris and I wracked our brains. We were like, okay, what costume are we going to do? Plus it's probably going to be 80 degrees plus we need to swing a golf club. I'm like, okay, seventies legends. I'm going to go with Slim's errand. You know that famous 1970s ski and beach photographer, and I'm going to go full on 1970s ski outfit. I'm going to wear the stretchy pants with the suspenders and a crazy yellow and I'm going to wear my kind of aviator blue glasses.

 

(06:43):

Those are kind of 1970s. The only thing Chris could find was a red sequin tuxedo jacket that was leftover. We've got a box in our basement that's full of leftover costumes. I got to tell you, we showed up for this tournament. I am not a golfer, but we are dressed for success. We are dressed for fun. We are dressed and rolling up to the tournament in our costumes. We had one guy dressed as Ricky Bobby. What was that movie that Ricky Bobby was in Tall? What is it? I knew the movie. I can't say it the movie because Will Ferrell was in it. He looked fricking fantastic. His wife was dressed as the pit crew person. We had another person who was dressed as evil Knievel, and then Shar, our host. Oh my gosh, imagine this a golf tournament. She shows up wearing this sequined mini dress thing and a visor and a wig and knee high, plastic white go-go boots.

 

(07:43):

I mean, check out this video if you're watching on YouTube. I'm going to show a video of her walking and putting, wearing this costume. She played in that for nine holes. Every time I looked at her, I was laughing out loud. Now, here's the interesting part. There were probably a hundred people who played in this tournament. There were maybe 12 of us who dressed up, and I'm going to go on the record and say the 12 of us who dressed up and the eight of us in our group in particular had way more fun in that tournament than the people who didn't. I'm going to tell you why. Because when you're in a costume and you are bringing the fun, you don't take anything that seriously. You have fun. And the question is, so why wouldn't everybody dress up? Why? How often in your adult life do you get to put on a funny costume?

 

(08:33):

How often do you get to wear something you would never normally wear? You're not going to walk into work in an evil Knievel costume. Maybe you should mix things up. You're not going to walk into work in a pair of go-go boots in a short mini dress, and typically you don't walk on a golf course wearing those things either. How often do you get to wear something you would never normally wear and then play golf in it? I have not laughed that hard in a long time. It turns out that laughing makes you healthier. There are so many studies on laughter. We got to do a whole conversation about laughter. Maybe get an expert in here, but let me just hit you with this. The National Cancer Institute reports that regular laughter check this out, strengthens your immune system by lowering stress hormones in your body.

 

(09:20):

It also increases the number of natural killer cells and activated T cells that you have. These are two key players that keep your body healthy and resilient. So there's a lot of research around this. I mean, I think we know that laughter is good medicine. We feel better when we're laughing. And I'm here to remind you that even when life is hard, even when it seems like life isn't fun anymore, it is so important for you to understand the importance of these micro moments and these intentional moments of bringing fun and energy and joy back into your life. And I want to also define fun for a second because it can be surprisingly hard to put this concept into words because we all know it when we feel it. When you feel like you're having fun, right? You feel light, you feel bright, like it's happy and bubbly, and there's like a balloon filling up your chest.

 

(10:17):

Well, there's also this incredible book, the Power of Fun by Catherine Price. And she says that fun has three ingredients, playfulness, connection, and flow. Let's unpack this for just a sec. Now, playfulness means you're not taking yourself too seriously. My daughter, Kendall has this saying, mom, it's not that deep. Okay? Playfulness means you're in the, it's not that deep mode. You're not marching in saying, today I'm having fun, damnit. No, that's not what you're doing. You're just not taking yourself too seriously. And that's exactly how we rolled into that golf tournament. In fact, I want you to think about something. When's the last time you put on a costume? Halloween doesn't count. And if you can't remember, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That is a major sign that you need to be having a little bit more fun. It's a major sign that playfulness and not taking yourself or life too seriously from time to time is something that's really important to do.

 

(11:12):

The second piece of fun is connection. Connection means fun usually involves other people. Even if you're introverted, sharing experiences with other people, just amplifies the fun. And the third thing that she writes about is flow, meaning you are immersed in the moment, and then when you're immersed in the moment, time disappears. And what else disappears? Oh, let me tell you what else disappears.

(12:06):

When's the last time you broke out? I don't know, a puzzle or a board game and you just had fun? If you can't remember, I'm so glad you're listening because it's time for you to have fun again, playfulness, connection, flow. If you can inject these three things into something that you do today, now you got the recipe for fun. Have I got you hooked yet? I bet I do. Have I got you thinking about the last time you dressed up in a costume. I bet I do have you thinking about that, and I bet you're also thinking, okay, Mel, I get it. Fun's important. I get playfulness, connection and flow are really important ingredients, but how do I fit this into my life? I mean, I'm already waking up at 5:00 AM so that I have a chance to take care of myself before the kids get up, and then I got to get the kids ready for school.

 

(12:53):

Then I got to go to work or school, then I got to come home, I got to make dinner, I got to feed the dog. I got to do work after dinner, and then I'm just crashing. Where is the time for fun? I'm so glad you asked because there are six simple habits or ways or steps. You can call 'em whatever you want. We're having fun today, so we're not going to get serious that help you insert fun starting today, starting right now. And that brings me to number one. You ready for the number one way to have more fun? Where are the pink glasses? In fact, I'm going to do it right now. I'm going to take off my black 1970s engineering glasses and I'm going to put on my fun pink glasses, right? I know you can't see them. If you're listening, if you're watching on YouTube right now, I'm thrilled to be here with you.

 

(13:37):

And you can see me in my pink aviator glasses. These are neon pink glasses in the aviator shape. I love these glasses and I know a bazillion people are not going to ask me Who makes these glasses? I'm not sure who makes these glasses, but I'm sure we'll put it in the caption because so many of you're going to ask and you're going to crash the inbox, which wouldn't be that fun, but it could be kind of fun. But anyway, you might be thinking, Mel, what do you mean wear the pink glasses? Well, this is a habit for how you can think about inserting fun right now. Today I'm talking about one small fun change I put on the pink glasses. I look like I'm having more fun. Aren't the pink glasses just kind of fun? Do you see how easy that is? Fun doesn't have to be some big production.

 

(14:24):

You don't necessarily have to dress up in a costume to have fun. Just putting on glasses that are different can be fun. Wearing socks that are different can be fun. Being a little chattier, a little more energizing, telling a funny story before a meeting can be more fun. Here's another example of one small fun change, like wearing the pink glasses. Why not put on your favorite song while doing the dishes today? Just one small fun change. I mean, it immediately creates more fun. You put on the amazing, and I typically, when I'm doing the dishes, I either like disco music from the seventies or I love Motown. Or the other thing I love to do is I love to take the live concert track of one of my favorite songs and just crank it. And next thing you know, dishes are way more fun. I mean, you have to do dishes anyway.

 

(15:16):

When you put on music like that and you make this one small fun change to the thing that you have to do, boom, all of a sudden connection, all of a sudden playfulness all of a sudden in flow. How about at lunch today? If you're at work, why not go for a walk with your coworkers? I'm dead serious about this. Why not work on a crossword puzzle? Why not break out a deck of cards, put on funny socks? How about you decorate your desk with bright colored frames or a funky plant? How about you make the joke that you always kind of choke down go, oh, should I make this? Should I think it's funny? When somebody asks you, what'd you do this weekend? Think of the funniest thing that happened and tell 'em. Instead of saying, oh, and here's the thing, you're going to feel so stupid when you're doing it.

 

(16:04):

When you put on the pink glasses, you might feel a little self-conscious when you ask your colleagues to go for a walk. It might feel a little funny when you put on the music. When you're alone at home, you might be like, okay, this is kind of weird, but when the music hits, you're not going to be thinking about that at all because it's going to be impossible to not smile. Yes, these are all tiny things. These are things that you can do every day that can add more joy, a little bit of laughter, a little bit of lightness. Don't you deserve a little lightness? And here's one reason why. A little bit of lightness, a little silliness, a little playfulness, a little laughter. Here's one reason why this isn't so little. It's actually quite big. There is powerful research around fun, around joy, around silliness.

 

(16:57):

Dr. Judith Joseph, she's a world renowned double board certified psychiatrist and researcher. She has published the landmark research study about high functioning depression along with research studies on anxiety, A DHD, depression and more. Her research has found that small daily moments of joy and fun are essential for your life and your health, that happiness. Check this out. Happiness is created by increasing the small moments of joy, of fun, of laughter, of silliness, and more importantly, I want you to hear this not having small moments of joy, silliness, playfulness, laughter, not having these things in your life can be a cause of burnout and a feeling of numbness and sadness in your life. I want to say that again because this is really important and it's especially important if you have a lot of serious things going on. And so I want to really unpack this research that Dr. Judith Joseph's research has found that small daily moments of joy and fun are essential for your life, for your health, for your resilience. That happiness is created by increasing these small moments of silliness and laughter. That's why you got to lean into this. And more importantly, that when you don't have small moments of joy, happiness, silliness, fun in your life, it can cause burnout. It can cause a feeling of dumbness and it can cause more sadness in your life. So it's both a cause and a contributing factor to why you're so exhausted. And it's also the antidote. It's also the thing that can lift you up. Dr. Judith Joseph says that these points of joy, that her phrase that she uses in her clinical research are

(19:12):

Right? Because if you're not having any fun in your life, everything does feel heavier and more serious. If you don't have the ability to escape the stress that you feel by laughing or mixing things up with your friends or being silly at times, it makes things more serious. And so I want you to think about getting intentional about these small, tiny, joyful, fun, silly things that you can do to bring the fun back into your life is a way to lift you out of the heaviness. That's why this matters. This isn't a little topic at all. It's as big as it can get. This is a way you fight the feelings that you have that are weighing you down. And that brings me to step two. We've talked about wear the pink glasses, put on the fun socks, put on the music. Do something fun at lunch today instead of working through your lunch today.

 

(20:06):

One small fun change today. And that's going to bring us to step number two, which is just say yes to fun. Do you know how much you miss out on in terms of having fun? Because you're just saying, no, I want you to stop shutting yourself down. Did you skip the comedy show? Oh, it's too late. I'm tired. I work too late. Do you skip the company outing because it feels like work to socialize with your coworkers? Do you skip the cake because it's unhealthy? Fun is not about saying no. It's about saying yes when a friend says, do you want to try a new dance class with me? Yes. Do you want to take break and go grab a coffee? Yes. Do you want to try this super cringey speed dating thing together? Yes. Sometimes the most fun experiences are the ones you didn't even want to do in the first place.

 

(21:01):

I mean, look at me with golf. The moment that Shar invited us to be in the tournament, Chris is basically a bananas golfer. I can barely hold a club. I almost was like, Nope, nope. Do you know how much fun I would've missed out on? Instead, I just took the advice, say yes to having more fun, because having more fun, being silly or being playful, it actually requires you to be open to it. You got to be open to new things and to not taking the new things or your performance at the new things. So seriously, I almost missed out on what was one of the most fun things I've done in a while because I was worried about how I was going to look.

(22:33):

Here's another example. Let's say you go out with your coworkers and let's just say maybe you hit it a little too hard and maybe you feel a little hungover the next morning at work. Doesn't it make work a thousand times more interesting the next day? Of course it does. And speaking of doing things that you might not be comfortable with, that brings me to the third way to have more fun in your life starting today. Be bad at it because being bad at it is really fun. I mean, it's fun to be bad at something. You want to know what's actually boring is people who are good at everything. I mean, do you think the person who shows up to tennis or pickleball and just destroys everyone and takes it so seriously is having a lot of fun? No, because they're trying to win and they're taking it seriously.

 

(23:26):

Or what about the person who steps up to the mic and they literally have to nail every single note like they're Whitney Houston? Do you think they're having the most fun? No, because they're performing for perfection. Having fun is about trying something, fully throwing yourself into it and not caring if you're good or bad at it. I mean, think about me in golf. I literally was horrible at it. Horrible. We didn't count one shot that I took all nine holes. I don't care. It's fun to be bad. No pressure. And here's the thing, when you're willing to be bad at something, you not only open the door to fun, you also give other people around you permission to try to be bad and to have fun and to laugh at themselves too. I think social media has made you and me so terrified of failing, of looking stupid, of being caught not looking perfect or ending up on some embarrassing TikTok page.

 

(24:20):

But here's the thing. That fear of being bad is what's holding you back. The fear of looking stupid is why you're not having fun. I mean, it's okay to make a joke and nobody really laughs. I mean, that's how you learn to tell better ones. Okay, let's not take things too seriously.

(25:17):

I was very surprised to see that when I'm dancing, I think it looks a certain way. But when I'm watching a video of me dancing, it doesn't look like that at all. And so it's not only fun to dance, it was also hilarious to see that I'm actually pretty awkward dancer, but I don't care because being bad at something is also fun. And that brings me to a fourth way to have way more fun in your life. Starting today, I want you to be the driver of the FA and bus. Now, what does that mean? It means this. Instead of sitting around feeling exhausted and tired, crossing your arms and just waiting around for the fun bus to pull up and drag you on it and drive off with you, come on, admit it. You're waiting for the invite. You're waiting for somebody else to throw the golf costume party.

 

(26:12):

You're waiting for somebody else to crack the joke. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. One of the fastest ways to have more fun in your life is to take responsibility for having more fun in your life. You be the driver of the fun bus. You sit in this driver's seat, you drive the fun for yourself and for everyone else around you. Let me give you some examples of what this looks like. Have you ever been at a concert and it's kind of mellow and everybody's sitting there and then all of a sudden one person stands up and starts dancing for a minute, it looks a little weird, and then all of a sudden a second, and then all of a sudden, a third and next thing, everybody's standing up. All it takes is one person to drive the fun bus. And why is it that everybody joins in?

 

(27:03):

There's a lot of research and science about this. There's actually a famous video of a guy kind of twirling at a concert, and you watch it for like 30 seconds, and then people start to join in, and then it becomes a whole mob scene of people dancing. It's because when we see somebody else having fun, we are wired to want to have fun too. When you see somebody else laughing, you want to be laughing too. We're drawn toward it because we need it in our lives. I mean, when you think about the waves that go around a sports arena, there was a person who started the wave. And even though you see the wave coming and you feel kind of, oh, here, and then you do the wave, it's fun when it goes and you're like, woo. Right? Why shouldn't it be you? Who starts the wave?

 

(27:50):

Why sit around waiting for somebody else to do it? One of the best ways to bring the fun in any situation is just go first and be bad at it. So I want you to think about being at a wedding. We've all been at a wedding, right? And the bride and groom, after the ceremony, they come in, they announce 'em to the tent, they do their dance, and then all of a sudden the DJ starts playing or the band starts playing. And what do people do? People sit in their chairs and stare at the empty dance floor. What if you were the first person on the dance floor? That's how you drive the fun bus. I mean, typically at a wedding, it's usually an older couple, and they get out there and they do that swing dance thing where they spin each other around and the next thing you know, a bunch of other people are coming.

 

(28:40):

All it takes is one person to break the seal. That's it. What if today at work, as everybody's chatting about their weekend, what if you're the first person to have the silly thing to share in the meeting instead of being like, yeah, we hung out with the kids. Think of something funny. That's how you bring the fun. Be the first person to start the sing along on the bus or at the ballgame. That's how you bring the fun And look, if you're not naturally that, like, okay, I'm not really the go first kind of person, Mel, I can't even imagine stepping onto a dance floor and being the first person or grabbing my girlfriends and going out and being the first people. Here's something that can help with that. I want you to assign yourself a role. Step outside your brain and tell yourself, okay, today, because I know it matters and because I really want to have more fun in my life and more play in my life, and I want to feel more energized and I want to feel better.

 

(29:44):

Today, I am playing the role of driver of thumb buss today. It's my job to bring the front. Pretend that being silly and outgoing and unserious is your assignment for the day. And you'll be surprised at how quickly pretending becomes real. I want you to stop and think. You have friends in your life who are the fun friends. You know that your fun friends are going to bring the fun because why? Well, I'll tell you why. That's their role in life. And you expect it. And you know what they do to bring the fun? They put in extra effort in terms of the way that they make the appetizer. They have a playlist ready. They have a funny story that they're going to tell you. They wear something fun to the party. This is something that you can teach yourself to do, but you got to be intentional about it.

 

(30:36):

You got to be the driver of the fun bus, and you'll be shocked at how quickly just taking on that role. I want to be the fun friend. Why don't you be the fun friend? Why don't you be the fun one in the family? Why don't when you get together with your family the next time, bring games.