5 Rules for Difficult Relationships: How to Take Back Your Peace & Power

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You get your time, your energy, your clarity, your peace. Hey, it's your buddy Mel. Before we get into this episode, my team was just showing me that 57% of you who watch the Mel Robbins podcast here on YouTube are not subscribed yet. Could you do me a quick favor? Just hit subscribe. It's free, it takes a second. That way you're not going to miss any of the episodes we post here on YouTube. And also it lets me know that you enjoy the guests and the content that I'm bringing to you because I want to make sure you don't miss this thing and I want to make sure we just keep getting better and better. Okay. Thank you for subscribing. Alright, you're ready to dive in? Let's do it.

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It's always an honor to be together to spend this time with you. And if you're a new listener or you're here because somebody shared this episode with you, well, I just want to take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins podcast family. You have picked a winner of a conversation to spend time listening to right now because today you and I are talking about something that affects every single one of us and that's difficult people and how to deal with them without losing your peace or your power. Who am I talking about? Oh, I'm talking about the relatives who dominate every conversation. The friend who takes that cheap shot and then laughs it off at the, I was just joking. Don't be so sensitive. Oh, you know the sibling that knows how to just push your buttons even though you're older now and you guys are no longer living with your parents, talking about the people you love, but they also exhaust you.

 

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Because here's the truth, and I learned this the hard way. Most of the drama in your life, especially in your family, it's not really about conflict, it's about closeness. See, people want to feel connected, right? We want to feel close. It's why we get frustrated when there's tension. It's why we get frustrated when we don't feel connected and close, but we don't know how to ask for it and we don't know how to get rid of all the garbage that it's in the way between you guys. So it leaks out sideways. You get the control, you get the guilt, you get the side comments, the sarcasm, the silence, the alliances, the eye rolls, the passive aggressive digs, and that's the energy that you're swimming in all the time. That's why you brace around certain people. Maybe you are overexplaining yourself because people constantly misinterpret what you're saying. Maybe you get very emotional and tense and on edge and you're just not yourself around certain people and if you keep doing that, you're going to stay stuck in the same frustrating dynamic over and over and over again, and I don't want that for you. So here's what we're going to do today. You're going to learn two truths about other people that are extremely important to embrace, and the first one is that you cannot change other people.

 

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The truth and the fact about life is that other people only change when they're ready to change for themselves, and the more that you try to change someone else, the more they will stay the same and in fact, it'll create more tension and relationships and we're going to dig into that. The second major truth that we're going to dig into is that emotional immaturity is in everybody. That every adult that you meet is just an 8-year-old in a big body. And it's important to understand that adults throw tantrums. And when you embrace this truth in your life, and I unpack it in detail because this is one of the most popular sections of the Let Them Theory book itself, it will change the way that you look at other people. Then we're going to jump into the strategies that you're using right now to do with emotionally immature people and difficult people.

 

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It's not working. And finally we're going to talk about what do you do when you realize your emotions are part of the problem and what are the things that you can control that will shift the dynamic? Everything that you're about to learn is backed by so much research. It is working for millions of people. It has been transformative for me and we're going to take 'em one by one and really break them apart so that you can use the Let Them Theory effectively when either somebody else is all emotional or somebody else's behavior is starting to make you feel emotional like you're losing control. And I want to start here in case you don't know what the Let Them Theory is because somebody forwarded this episode to you. First of all, thank you for being here. The Let Them Theory is super simple. Basically it's a rule about life.

 

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The more control that you give up, the more control you gain. And the one thing that you have to stop controlling is other people. And so the Let Them Theory is very, very simple. Learn to let people be who they are. Let them their thoughts, let them do what they're going to do. Let them have their opinions or behavior their expectations because the more you let other people be who they are and live their lives, the better your life gets because now you can take all your time and energy back and focus on you. That's the let me part, let me focus on me. Let me focus my time and energy on what matters to me. So again, the more you stop controlling other people and trying to change 'em, the more control you gain over your own life and happiness. It's a beautiful thing.

 

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And you're also going to learn that this theory brings you closer to people, even the ones who are emotionally immature and can be difficult at times because it's going to teach you how to see people as they are and accept them as they are and then take your power back and act accordingly. And we're going to talk about five ways specifically that you can use these four words. Let them and let me, anytime you're dealing with somebody who's emotionally mature or just very difficult in general, in addition to this section of the book being the most popular, the other reason why I wanted to really do an episode that was focused on family dynamics and challenging dynamics with families is so many of you have written in and I have a ton of them right here about what you're bracing for. And even if you have an amazing family, there are still dynamics in your family that are incredibly stressful and you just wish that it wasn't this way.

 

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And here's some of the things that people said. I feel anxious seeing my family and then my anxiety makes interacting with them even more difficult. I'm anxious with every interaction and I still constantly put them first. Why do I do this? My parents can't seem to accept me as an adult now. I'm no longer their child, and so I can't stand the power struggle. How do I stop feeling so triggered to react when my sister says things on purpose to get to me? How do you stay calm and sturdy when a relative is getting under your skin? How do I do with a boundary that's put in place and then it's like I get dirty looks, I get the punishing silent treatment, I get passive aggressive behavior from my spouse's family. They even unfriended me on Facebook, my mother-in-law's not getting her way in terms of hosting the holidays and it's driving me crazy how immature she's acting. Everyone tiptoes around the immature person in my family because everyone's worried how they're going to react boundaries with my divorced parents, my mom talks badly about my dad. I don't want to hear it. There's a person in my immediate family who is always in crisis, which means there's never any space for me because it's always about her. People that can't see anyone else's opinion but their own and my family drive me crazy.

 

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Whether you could relate to all of those or none of them, we all have things about our family we'd like to change. Maybe your parents are getting older and you're really worried about them and you're worried about how much time you have with them and they're getting more and more and more set in their ways and there are things that you think that they should be doing whether it's not driving anymore or getting some support at the house and now it's creating fights. That's something that the Let Them Theory is going to help you navigate. Maybe it's just that you've grown distant from your adult kids or now that your daughter's married or your son is engaged, you don't see 'em as much as you'd like to and it makes you emotional and then you get reactive and you don't want to act that way, but you're having trouble navigating this new chapter in your relationship.

 

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Let Them Theory is going to help. I know you're listening. There is some dynamic in your family that just isn't working and you're bracing or you're venting or you're keeping the peace or you're putting up with it and you just wish things could be easier. You wish their behavior didn't make you so emotional.

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And what I'm going to tell you is the Let Them Theory is the single best tool to navigate these challenging dynamics, to manage your emotions and to learn how to connect with people as they are and to create closer relationships while you protect your peace. In fact, let me read you something about the Let Them Theory. What happens when you use the Let Them Theory and four words, let them and let me as the world's best boundaries is you become more compassionate. Instead of getting frustrated by everybody in your family, you begin to understand that most people you're related to and everybody on the planet, they simply don't have the tools to handle their emotions or their behavior or their reactions maturely with the Let Them Theory, you're going to learn how to respond with compassion. You're going to learn how to set some boundaries and you're also going to learn how to stop letting other people's emotional immaturity run your life.

 

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All it takes is one person to change the way they show up in a family and the entire family system can change for the better and that person is you. And what we're going to do today is we're going to dig deep into the them theory to teach you how to change yourself. And it's going to be so powerful. I promise you it will change every single dynamic with every person in your life for the better. So let's dig into this. Here's the truth. I had to learn the hard way and it's the first one I want you to hear. People only change when they're ready to change for themselves. It's true there is nothing you can do to change your grandmother or your mom or your dad or your brother or your sister or the person that you're married to. There is nothing that you can do if there's someone in your life who's always angry.

 

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I bet if you really stop and think about it, there's probably somebody in your life or in your family that's always angry that no matter what you do, they would rather be griping about something or grousing about something or upset that this isn't anything complaining about that thing than just being present with you. And it's a really challenging thing when you wake up and realize, wow, this person's never going to change unless they want to change. And there's no amount of bending over backwards or tiptoeing around it or trying to make them happy or asking them if they're okay that's going to make them suddenly a calm and happy and peaceful person who's just present and loves to be with you. Some people are just like that. And the faster you recognize this truth, there's nothing you can do to change another person. In fact, the more you try to change somebody else, the more they're going to stay exactly who they are.

 

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People only change when they are ready to change for themselves, which means the only thing that you can change is your attitude about your relationship with this person. And it's so important to embrace this that I want to give you an example and I want you to think about someone in your life that you wish you could be closer to. But something's always wrong. It's almost like this person is trying to hug a porcupine. They're just always like, oh. And the fact is, whether you're talking about your family or your partner's family or your roommate's families, there are people in your life who would rather stay angry and mad at the world than be connected. There are people in your life who would rather play the victim than take responsibility for their life. There are people in your life that would rather sound off and complain and gossip about everybody else than taking a look in the mirror and just doing what they need to do to make their own life better.

 

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There are always going to be people in your life who are more comfortable. They just love focusing on what's going wrong than just being present and enjoying the people that are right here in front of their face. Have you ever noticed that? Have you ever had that experience where the second that you walk in the door, they're already complaining that it's been a year since you've been there or they're complaining about somebody else?

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Let them do the thing that they do. Let them do everything wrong because it's not your job to fix other people. It's your job to recognize who other people are and learn how to accept them. And it's so liberating to realize you get to choose how much of your peace their behavior is allowed to steal. See, when I was writing chapter seven of the Let Them Theory and chapter seven is entitled, when Grownups Throw Tantrums, I had to really sit with this uncomfortable truth. Why do you think loving someone means trying to change them? Why do you jump in to control and fix and manage another person? And here's what I realized, and this is a really important thing to understand. I don't think we mean to be controlling and fixing everybody else. I don't think we actually understand that we do it by default.

 

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And the reason why you and I can look at our sister and be like, if I were in her shoes, I would do this, that and the other thing. And I'll tell you why we operate like this with other people. It's because we've all been parented. And this is not anything against parents. I'm a parent. I have three adult children. I made a lot of good decisions and probably a lot of bad decisions. But when you're a parent, your job is to protect your kids. Your job is to care for your kids. Your job is to teach your kids. Your job is to keep them safe. Your job is to help them make decisions. And in the process of parenting, what do you do? Oh my gosh. Well, you tell your kids exactly what to do. You dictate when they wake up, you dictate when they go to bed, you dictate what they eat.

 

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You tell them when they're wrong. You have consequences and punishment when they don't do what you say. You try to teach 'em all kind of stuff. You're basically shaping their behavior by in many ways controlling it. And so what happens is as a kid, what's modeled for you is okay, love means that somebody tells me what to do. Love means that somebody is trying to steer my life. Love means that somebody knows me better than I know me and is trying to force me to be what they want me to be. Love means people get irritated with me and then they yell at me and punish me. And so that parenting and the control that we exhibit on our kids gets tangled up with our idea of what it means to love somebody and to care. And here's the problem. Once you're an adult without even realizing it, guess how you now show that you love people and that you care about them by trying to change them?

 

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Because that's what we learned. We tell other people that we love what to do. We jump in and fix their problems before they even ask for advice. We believe we know what's best for them. And here's the thing I want you to understand. That's not love, that's parenting, that's not love, that's control. Real love means seeing someone and accepting someone exactly as they are. And it also means seeing someone and accepting someone for exactly who they're not. And that's why the people you most want to change can often be the hardest to love because you're stuck in this loop of wishing they were different if only they got in shape, if only they were more motivated, if only they did a better job picking up after themselves. If only they would stop dating these losers if only she didn't use that tone of voice. And when you're stuck in that loop, if only I'll love you, when you're not actually loving somebody, you're judging someone.

 

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That's one of the hardest and most freeing truths inside the Let Them Theory Let them is not about just giving up and throwing your hands up in the air. Let Them is about unlearning that old wiring from being parented and choosing to show up in a relationship as an adult, not as some other adult's parent, but choosing to show up in a relationship not with this fantasy of who you wish someone would be, but learning how to accept the reality of who someone is right now. Hard to do, but it's liberating when you really embrace this because it forces you to be in the relationship as it is instead of constantly resisting it because you wish it was something else. And I'm going to talk a lot about it in the context of family dynamics. And the reason why is because when you walk into a room full of people that you're related to, you have this fantasy in your head of the version of the family that you really wish they would be.

 

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But instead you're walking into a room full of people who are likely stressed out, they're reactive, they're emotionally maxed out just like you are. They have a lot going on, most of which you're not even aware of. And you got to remember, you can't control them, you can't fix them, you can't make them change. And wishing that they were different isn't going to make them different. But here's what you can do, and this is where it starts to get so liberating and so fun. You can better understand why people are emotionally immature. You can better understand why people are challenging. You can better understand why people react in ways that make no sense, especially the people that like crazy overreact over things. You're like, why is this a big deal? What is wrong with you? And when you understand emotional reactivity and immaturity, guess what?

 

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It doesn't impact you and you also stay in control so you can decide and you can change how you respond to it. And that's exactly what we're going to talk about next because the second truth that I want to teach you is that other people are just eight year olds in big bodies. See, when I was writing chapter seven, chapter seven of the Let Them Theory is entitled When Grownups Throw Tantrums. I really was wrestling with this question. I mean, haven't you often wondered why does my dad erupt over everything? Why does my brother have so much anger? And I was talking to my therapist about this. Why do grown adults snap and sulk and shut down and lash out and throw full on tantrums? Why do your friends still use the silent treatment and why is this so prominent, especially in your families? I've certainly wondered that.

 

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In fact, one day I was sitting down with my therapist, Dr. Ann Davin. She's a depth psychologist, she's a writer. She's honestly one of the wisest people I've ever met in my entire life. And I was talking to her about a very difficult family member. And this is a person who always makes it about them. The energy in the room. Do you have a person like this in your life where it's like positive or negative, their energy is the dominant one, it doesn't matter. They always know how to pull the focus back to themselves, whether it's pouting or it's yelling or it's mood swings. And I was exhausted by this person. And here's the thing, I think it's easy on Instagram and social media, just cut people out, talk to people. But for most of us, the challenging people that we have in our life, it's not that we don't want them in our life, we just wish we could get along.

 

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And so I was talking with my therapist about this relationship because I was just like, what am I doing wrong? How do I change this dynamic with this person? And more importantly, why are they like this? And Anne said something I will never forget. It changed my life and I'm going to read to you from the Let Them Theory book. This is chapter seven, page one 11. She said, Mel, most adults are just 8-year-old children inside of big bodies. The next time you're with this person and you feel yourself getting triggered by something they say or some way that they act, I just want you to imagine the second grade version of them present with you in the room because what you're describing is someone who has the emotional maturity of an 8-year-old and like it or not, that's most adults. When she said that, I was like, but I want you to just think about that for a second.

 

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I'm going to keep on reading to you here on page one 11. Why else does your mom pout? Instead of saying what's wrong, why does your friend give you the silent treatment? Why does your boyfriend send you passive aggressive texts when you're out with friends? Why does your sister blow up and then act like nothing happened an hour later? It's because adults at their core are just as emotional as children. The difference is sometimes they're better at hiding it. But here's the beautiful thing about the Let Them theory. Instead of getting frustrated, you begin to understand that most people simply don't have the tools to handle their emotions maturely. See, emotional maturity isn't something you're born with or that happens. It's a skill that takes time, practice and a desire to learn. My therapist is right. Most people you meet still act like an eight-year-old child when they don't get what they want or when they feel uncomfortable emotions, the Let Them theory is going to teach you how to stop reacting and how to stop letting other people's emotional maturity ruin your life.

 

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And there's one more thing I want to share with you about emotional immaturity because the connection between childlike and adult behavior is undeniable. And I'm going to walk you through this graphic. This is on page one 12, but I really want you to consider how similar adult behavior is to a second grade child. When a child gets flooded with emotions and upset about something, what do they typically do? They run away from you. What does an adult do if they get upset with you and they're flooded with emotion? Oh, they avoid you, which is basically running away from you. When they get overwhelmed, what do they do? They shut down. Adults. Oh, they get stoic. They just shove that stuff down. Have you ever seen a child throw a tantrum when they didn't get what they want or they're exhausted hungry? I'm sure you, have you ever seen an adult one?

 

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Of course, that's the person that screams at something that's just ridiculous or they rage text at you or they send one of those crazy emails or they vent at you. That's an adult tantrum. Kids slam doors, adult slam doors, kids lie. So do adults. And so Ann and I continue to talk a lot about this fact that most adults that you meet are just second graders in big bodies. And what she has explained since then, and what I've also learned from other world renowned experts is that emotional development in a human being often halts in childhood unless the person actively works on it. So what does that mean? What that means is that if you're dealing with an adult, I don't care if they're 80 years old or 50 years old, or 25 years old, when something happens that makes them feel emotional, even if it's tiny, I'm talking tiny.

 

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The adult brain doesn't always know how to process or regulate adult experiences because what happens instead, and we've learned a lot about this from the experts on this podcast, is that you go from a functioning rational adult to immediately having your stress response or the amygdala hijack you. And when somebody feels emotionally flooded, the brain just automatically kicks into survival mode. Adrenaline, cortisol floods your body in like a nanosecond. This is what neuroscientists call emotional flooding. Heart rate spikes, muscles tend or vision narrows thought goes offline. You can't stop that first surge because it's a biological reaction. So when somebody is firing off a ridiculous string of passive aggressive texts, when an adult thinks the silent treatment is how you deal with conflict in a relationship when somebody snaps at you, this is the one that I was guilty of all the time, that just the tone shift when they've just promised they're going to try to stay calm.

 

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The reason why is they're in a biological response. Their nervous system literally comes online before logic and maturity can catch up. This is a second greater response inside an adult body. You have a adult human being if you're looking at your grandparents or your parents or your siblings or your partner who is now overwhelmed by whatever emotion they're feeling and they've never developed the emotional maturity to process emotions maturely because it's a skill. And here's the kicker, they usually have no idea this is actually happening. Seriously, they have no idea the flooding happens because they get suddenly overwhelmed because there's so many people in the house and the groceries are everywhere and the dogs are running around that they just, instead of being able to go, oh, I'm getting a little overwhelmed. I guess I should take a beat. I should step out of the room.

 

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I should reach for a glass of water. What do they do instead? They just automatically snap. They sulk, they roll their eyes, they lash out, they say something sharp, they retreat to their phone for the rest of the night, they sulk in the corner. And this is what's so confusing. If a little kid flopped on the floor of the kitchen and started banging about, you can handle that. I mean you can expect it because a kid, it's part of the deal, right? But when this happens and a house full of grownups that don't know how to handle their emotions, it's a whole different level of chaos. And here's the kicker.

 

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When an adult has a tantrum like that, they usually have no idea what's happening. I think we make a mistake in society when we call people who are narcissistic or challenging or emotionally immature, manipulative because what I now understand is that when somebody snaps or sulks or lashes out or pouts or makes it all about them or rages at you, or they say something sharp, their stress response is driving the show. They don't even know what they're doing, which is why so many challenging and emotionally immature after they throw a tantrum, were like, I never said that that didn't happen. They don't remember it because the amygdala was running the show. They were purely in a biological response. And understanding this will change everything for you because you can't control when or if an emotionally immature adult is going to tantrum, you just know what's going to happen.

 

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But using the Let Them Theory, you can protect yourself from that knee-jerk instinct of having to fix this or having to deal with it at all.

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As you're going to somebody else's house or you're going to the holidays at your family's or you're going to a wedding, you already driving down, you me, I'm going to admit to this. You're thinking about how is this going to go? And maybe you're stopping and buying groceries or maybe you're worried about what the sleeping arrangements are or maybe that you're worried or you think that you would do the wedding a little bit differently and you think they're cutting corners and they should have done it this way. So as you're heading there, you already have expectations. And I think this is one of the things that I have learned the hard way that going with the flow and understanding that all that, the person that is hosting once is to just feel like people appreciate the effort in. And here's what we don't realize. We don't realize that if you don't go with the flow as the guest, you unintentionally can come across as rude, disrespectful.

 

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You can make a host feel like no matter what they do, it's never enough. You can inadvertently make it seem like you're doing it better or you would do it better or they didn't do enough. And it creates this weird tension because for example, maybe all you were trying to do was bake a pie that was gluten-free because that way your kids could eat it and then nobody else would have to worry about it. But when you roll into the house without even thinking, and you say something like, oh, here's all the groceries. Let me just put 'em over here and I'm just going to move this thing in the fridge over here. And what if we do this and can I help you set the table? And then you're folding the napkins a different way. You are just trying to help you didn't mean to roll into someone else's house like a freight train and suddenly take over and cover every single counter space or roll in with the blow up mattress because you don't really like your sister's bed because it's really like swooshy.

 

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And then you're not going to good night's sleep. Let's just put this over here. What if we move this over there? Let me get this centerpiece out of the way because I bought a charcuterie board that's the size of a Jeep Wagoner to just shove on the island, which I didn't tell you about. I thought I was helping, but you know what that feels like to the host? Wait, what I planned wasn't good enough for you? And then guess what happens? We, you and me just inadvertently brought out the 8-year-old version of your sister or your dad or your mother because the kid part in there tried really hard and they just like every 8-year-old wants to be noticed. They want to be appreciated. They want to be told you did a good job. So what is the best thing that you and I can do?

 

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Well, first of all, it's to recognize the psychology of anybody hosting. That's just human nature to want to feel appreciated. What's the best thing you can do? Go with the flow. Go with the flow. Give yourself a reality check. Don't live in the fantasy and the expectation. Live in the reality. You're not pulling into a five star resort. You're in somebody's home. Here is your anchor tool when it comes to anything that's beneath your expectation. Anything that you now want to control and do better. This is straight from DBT or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, which is a research backed form of psychotherapy that teaches people how to manage big emotions, navigate relationships, and handle stress more effectively. Here's what you're going to do. You have to be clear about your intentions before you walk in the door. Just ask yourself, why am I here? Why am I going to this event that is hosted by a family member?

 

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Why am I showing up? If the answer is, well, I'm here because I just want to be with my family. If that's your answer, you have won the lottery because it means you don't need to fix anything. You don't need to control anything. You don't need to manage the eight year olds that show up in the big bodies and start tantruming because you need to be clear about your intention. I'm just here to be with family, which means I'm going to go with the flow. I'm going to be kind, I'm going to be flexible. I'm going to say thank you, i's it? That's it. That's all you need to do.

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We turn to whoever's standing next to us and we vent. We walk into the kitchen and we say, you are not going to believe what Tommy's girlfriend just did. Oh, or you walk into the bedroom and you shut the door and you're like, these people are driving me crazy. We have got to get out of here. I cannot stand my father's new wife. This is just absolutely horrific. I mean, I cannot even, that's not what we're going to do. And I'm going to tell you why venting doesn't work. And I get it. It feels like it helps, right? But according to decades of research, it doesn't. Venting isn't helping. Venting makes things worse. So let's take that exact moment. You come rolling in. The hugs happen. You've got five casseroles and four grocery bags and two dogs in tow. Now you know that a lot of that is just triggered an 8-year-old to come out.

 

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And so as you're trying to make room for all the things that you've brought to accommodate your family, you're starting to get some huffs and some puffs and some moving things around. And now you're thinking, are we already going here? I've been here 10 minutes and now we're going to go do this stressed out thing again. No, I'm fine. I'm fine. And now you're getting the silent treatment. And as you're trying to talk to the parent, they won't look you in the eye. And so you retreat like you did when you were little because now they're tantruming in the kitchen and now they're and puffing. And now you are confused and hurt. So what do you do? Oh, you call a friend, you pace around in the bedroom upstairs, you go for a walk with the dog. You then rehash every detail with your partner as you're on the walk, you vent.

 

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Can you believe it? We've only been, it always happens like this. And doesn't it feel so good? And it feels good, right? Because it feels like you're releasing something and it feels like you're right. You're right. These people that I'm related to are crazy. Why do they drive me crazy? We are better than these people because we would not act like this. But here's the thing, you're not releasing something. You're pouring gasoline on the fire. Venting doesn't release the emotion. It reloads it. And science backs this up. See, I know that you've been told just blow off steam, but guess what? Science says that's complete bs. There is this massive 2024 meta analysis out of Ohio State, and a meta analysis just means they took a bunch of other studies, analyzed them and extracted the data. And in this meta analysis, they covered 154 anger studies and they found not a single shred of scientific evidence that venting reduces anger. In fact, it often makes people angrier. Why? Because every time you rant, my dad's always like this. My brother never helps.

 

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Every rant is a mental rep. You're not moving on. This is scary. Listen to this. You're not moving on. Your brain is memorizing your outrage. That's crazy. You are locking that anger into your nervous system, which means guess what? It makes it easier to get angry the next time. See, every time you go off about it and vent, you're reinforcing the loop. And let me say this, it is normal to want to vent. I have been one of the world's biggest venters, in fact, and once I read this research, I'm like, I'm never venting again because I can see the more you do it, the more you vent and the more you get stuck in this loop. In fact, research from UCLA shows that when someone listens to a friend vent, they often feel closer and more supportive of that friend. Why? Well, because there's this connection and being trusted.

 

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You feel like someone's leaning on you and that you mattered. But there's a flip side to that closeness, and you probably have felt it right, because you know that saying misery loves company. Have you ever noticed that when start venting about something, especially something family related, it's not fair. She's always the favorite. They don't treat the grandkids equally. You want the other person to get angry too. I see this with my daughters all the time. One of 'em will pull me into the kitchen to vent about someone who is in their life. The next thing I know, I'm kind of angry on their behalf.