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Episode: 398

What Makes a Good Life? This Study on 26,000 Regrets Will Guide You for the Rest of Your Life

with Daniel Pink

When was the last time you thought about something you wish you'd done differently? You’re not alone. Regret is actually one of the most common emotions people experience – and it’s the most misunderstood. Today's episode changes that.

In this episode, Mel sits down with bestselling author Daniel Pink to talk about the one emotion everybody has: regret.

Drawing on his World Regret Survey of 26,000+ regrets from 134 countries, Daniel breaks regret into four categories and shows you how to stop spiraling, stop avoiding, and use what you’re feeling to make better decisions.

You’ll learn the most common regret people share, why “later” turns into years, and a simple 3-step reset to move on and take action.

Listen on:

You can’t change what happened. You can change what you do next.

Daniel Pink

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Key takeaways

  1. You keep trying to ignore or wallow in regret, but when you face it and listen, it reveals what you value and shows you how to change your future.

  2. You think your mistakes make you unique, but you’re not that special—regret is universal, and when you stop the shame and practice self-compassion, you finally start to heal.

  3. You replay the same painful scene over and over, but that moment is not your whole life—it’s one chapter, and you decide if it becomes your identity or your lesson.

  4. You hesitate because of awkwardness and fear, but when you reach out, you realize connection is what you value, and that small action can completely restore what you’ve been missing.

  5. You regret the chances you didn’t take, not the ones you did, and when you play it safe, you trade short-term comfort for long-term regret that stays with you.

Guests Appearing in this Episode

Daniel Pink

Daniel Pink is one of the most influential thinkers and authors of our time, with 7 bestselling books. Daniel conducted the largest study on regret, The World Regret Survey.

  • The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward

    Everybody has regrets, Daniel H. Pink explains in The Power of Regret. They’re a universal and healthy part of being human. And understanding how regret works can help us make smarter decisions, perform better at work and school, and bring greater meaning to our lives.

    Drawing on research in social psychology, neuroscience, and biology, Pink debunks the myth of the “no regrets” philosophy of life. And using the largest sampling of American attitudes about regret ever conducted as well as his own World Regret Survey—which has collected regrets from more than 15,000 people in 105 countries—he lays out the four core regrets that each of us has. These deep regrets offer compelling insights into how we live and how we can find a better path forward.

    As he did in his bestsellers Drive, When, and A Whole New Mind, Pink lays out a dynamic new way of thinking about regret and frames his ideas in ways that are clear, accessible, and pragmatic. Packed with true stories of people's regrets as well as practical takeaways for reimagining regret as a positive force, The Power of Regret shows how we can live richer, more engaged lives.

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