Episode: 446
This One Skill Makes Every Relationship Better
a Solo Episode
Build stronger relationships by practicing one skill in the small moments that matter most.
Empathy is a skill you can practice, and small everyday moments are where it matters most.
In this episode, Mel shares 4 simple, research-backed ways to build more trust, connection, and closeness in your relationships.
You’ll learn how to understand people instead of assuming, turn good intentions into real connection, support someone who’s struggling, and show up in all the ways that matter.
Plus, hear powerful lessons from two of our most memorable guests on what it means to truly see and support people, and how that skill can enhance your life.
This episode is sponsored by our exclusive insurance partner, Amica.
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Empathy is the ability for you to meet people in the moments that matter to them.
Mel Robbins
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Key takeaways
Empathy gets stronger when you stop guessing and start asking; you cannot mind-read, and research says you're wrong about others' feelings 80% of the time.
When someone you love is struggling, don't rush to fix them; ask what it's like for them so they feel understood, safe, and less like a problem to solve.
When someone shares good news, don't say “great” and move on; ask questions, celebrate with them, and give their happiness room to expand.
Thinking about someone doesn't count if they never know; go first, send the text, make the call, or offer a small “pebble” that shows you remembered them.
When someone is struggling, don't make them explain what they need; show up with support, bring the paper plates, or simply do what needs to be done for them.
Resources
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- University of Toronto: U of T researchers explore the concept of empathy in everyday life
- Stanford Report: The antidote to loneliness might be recognizing how much others care
- Stanford Medicine: Empathy is a skill that improves with practice, Stanford psychologist-author says
- Association for Psychological Science: Asking Questions Increases Likability
- Greater Good Science Center: Active Listening
- University of Texas Austin: Random Acts of Kindness Make a Bigger Splash Than Expected
- American Psychological Association: The science of why friendships keep us healthy
- CDC: Improving Social Connectedness
- Chicago Booth Review: Talk to a Stranger: It’ll Make You Happier
- Columbia University Teachers College: What is Your Theory of Empathy? Is it Innate or Attainable?
- Association for Psychological Science: The Experience of Empathy in Everyday Life
- Nature: Bridging the empathy perception gap fosters social connection
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: Perspective mistaking: Accurately understanding the mind of another requires getting perspective, not taking perspective
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: It doesn't hurt to ask: Question-asking increases liking
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: Addressing the empathy deficit: beliefs about the malleability of empathy predict effortful responses when empathy is challenging
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: The surprise of reaching out: Appreciated more than we think
- Journal of Experimental Psychology: General: A little good goes an unexpectedly long way: Underestimating the positive impact of kindness on recipients
- Journal of Family Psychology: Does support need to be seen? Daily invisible support promotes next-day relationship well-being
