6 Ways to Use My “Let Them” Theory to Improve Any Relationship


The Mel Robbins Podcast


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Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a way to not get so annoyed or frustrated with the people that you love?

There is. 

It’s called the “Let Them” theory. Mel discovered it while arguing with her son about a taco stand, and she hasn’t stopped using it since.

She first explained the “Let Them” theory in a 60-second reel on Instagram. 63 million views later. The verdict is in. Everyone loves the “let them” theory.

Today, Mel is in the studio, taking your calls live and teaching you 6 ways to improve any relationship with the “Let Them” theory.

In this episode, you hear Mel cover topics like:

How to handle a mother-in-law who is not supportive

Feeling left out? Good. You need better friends

Why moving in with your parents is better than living with an ex

What to say when your sibling wants to gossip about your mom

Why being the family peacekeeper creates a war inside you

How to stop being the “fixer” in your relationships

The truth about addiction in a family and the role you need to play

Why your dad’s gambling problem isn’t yours to fix

How rescuing people robs them of the problems they need to face

What to do when your parents’ marriage is in crisis

How to tell a friend you are sick of hearing about their relationship drama

Why you shouldn’t be the “therapist” for your friend group

Why it's normal for friends to drop you when you start drawing boundaries

The art of putting yourself first: “Let me” be happy for a change

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Xo, Mel

In this episode:

  • 01:15: What is the “Let Them Theory” anyway? 
  • 03:30:  My overfunctioning anxiety kicked in until this happened.
  • 08:44: How do I stop being the ‘peacemaker’ in my family?
  • 10:58: Here’s the 2 simple strategies for facing discomfort.
  • 12:41:Why can't you stop gossiping even though you know it’s toxic?
  • 17:47: How to have the courage to leave the job you hate.
  • 20:18: How do you deal with judgemental family members? 
  • 26:39: Whoa, a lot of you will relate to this. 
  • 32:23: Why being the “therapist” for your friend group is draining you.
  • 35:42: How to stop being the “fixer” in the relationship.
  • 40:10: The 4 things you are responsible for in any relationship.
  • 42:42: The root cause of any addiction.
  • 44:25: What you need to know about navigating life after abuse. 
  • 46:00: Why “giving your all” to a relationship is the worst decision possible. 
  • 50:07: How can you empower people you love to use the “Let Them Theory”?
  • 51:12: A fundamental fact about any relationship.

Resources and go deeper:

Listen to ‘The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million

People Can’t Stop Talking About’

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In The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel takes you behind the scenes in real-time. Every episode is packed with tactical advice, hilarious screwups, compelling conversations, and the tools and inspiration you need to create a better life.