The Surprising Link Between People Pleasing & Your Health: A Medical Doctor’s Recommendation on How to Say “No”

Episode:
120

The Mel Robbins Podcast with Dr. Neha Sangwan

THE LINK BETWEEN PEOPLE PLEASING AND HEALTH

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Does this doctor have the health secret you’ve been looking for? Does people-pleasing really make you sick?

Dr. Neha Sangwan is an internal medicine physician, bestselling author, and accomplished researcher.

Today, Mel sits down with Dr. Sangwan to learn the truth about people-pleasing.

Topics discussed include:

People-pleasing: what it is

Are you a “yes” person?

The difference between “going with the flow” and people pleasing

Why avoiding conflict makes you a people-pleaser

What your “childhood blueprint” is and how it shapes adulthood

People pleasing and the link to illness

What your parents did or said to turn you into a people-pleaser

Why people-pleasing is a coping mechanism

Why you can’t deal with other people’s discomfort

How to trace your people pleasing back to a single moment in time

Why being stressed, irritated, and tired is a sign that you are a people-pleaser

Why being a control freak may be a sign of people pleasing

How to unlearn people pleasing

How every conflict in your life traces back to childhood trauma

What happens, from a medical perspective, when you have an unresolved conflict?

The secret reason you’re an overachiever

How to stop your people-pleasing behavior at work and set better boundaries

What it really means when you resent the people you love

Why people-pleasing is a “protection tool” you learn to use in childhood

The link between chronic worry and people pleasing

The simple 3-part framework Dr. Sangwan uses to say “no” when you mean "no"

How 80% of all illnesses are caused by stress

The 5 questions you should ask yourself to understand what your body is really trying to signal to you

You can purchase Dr. Sangwan’s book, ‘TalkRx: Five Steps to Honest Conversations That Create Connection, Health, and Happiness’, here: https://a.co/d/iaVNwiL

Download a FREE audio chapter from ‘TalkRx: Five Steps to Honest Conversations That Create Connection, Health, and Happiness’, here: intuitiveintelligenceinc.com/mel

Follow Dr. Sangwan:

Instagram: instagram.com/doctorneha

Webpage: intuitiveintelligenceinc.com

Watch the episodes on YouTube: https://bit.ly/45OWCNr

Check out my book, The High 5 Habit: https://a.co/d/g1DQ8Pt

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In this episode:

  • 02:15: Mel’s jaw hit the floor when she heard this.
  • 03:03: If you struggle with people-pleasing, you are not alone.
  • 04:02: Are you a “yes” person?
  • 05:51: People-pleasing: what is it?
  • 09:35: What your parents did or said to turn you into a people-pleaser
  • 13:40: Why people-pleasing is a coping mechanism
  • 14:24: What your “childhood blueprint” is and how it shapes adulthood
  • 17:54: Why you can’t deal with other people’s discomfort
  • 23:46: The simple 3-part framework Dr. Sangwan uses to say “no” when you mean "no"
  • 25:01: Is everyone on the planet a people-pleaser?
  • 28:22: The 2 functions of the brain?
  • 31:57: What it really means when you resent the people you love
  • 36:32: When Dr. Sangwan connected her people-pleasing with overwhelm
  • 38:12: Dr. Sangwan received this shocking diagnosis from an MD.
  • 42:34: The secret reason you’re an overachiever
  • 46:56: How 80% of all illness is caused by stress
  • 49:02: The 5 questions you should ask yourself to understand what your body is really trying to signal to you
  • 53:00: Wow, this might be the root cause of your anxiety.
  • 54:47: How to stop your people-pleasing at work and set better boundaries

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In The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel takes you behind the scenes in real-time. Every episode is packed with tactical advice, hilarious screwups, compelling conversations, and the tools and inspiration you need to create a better life.