How to Speak So That People Listen: #1 Rule for Getting the Support You Need


The Mel Robbins Podcast with Lisa Bilyeu


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Today you’re learning the best relationship advice no one ever tells you.

Because the BEST relationships start with better conversations.

Nobody teaches you that.

If you’ve ever been in a situation where family and friends don’t agree with you, or they don’t like the direction you’re taking your life, it’s frustrating.

Not knowing how to deal with that can damage relationships with people you love.

Today’s episode will teach you how to speak so that people listen, so you can keep the people in your life that you really care about. 

Today Lisa Bilyeu joins Mel on the podcast. Lisa is the co-founder of the billion-dollar brand Quest Nutrition and president of Impact Theory Studios. Her wildly successful career started with a childhood dream to make movies. But in a traditional Greek family that didn’t support her ambitions and wanted her to be a housewife, that dream caused a lot of friction.

Lisa had to build a framework for having difficult conversations and get the people she loved to understand her dreams and support her career. This framework made it easier to go after her dreams, while staying close to the people she loved.

Learn how YOU can use this framework so that people in your life want to listen when you speak. 

If you liked this episode, listen to this one next: Do This To Become More Confident: 5 Truths You Need to Hear

Connect with Mel:

In this episode:

  • 3:40: Have you ever had a dream that nobody supported?
  • 6:00: If you were told this as a young girl, it’s impacting you now.
  • 8:30: This is where your belief system starts, and it’s important to know this.
  • 11:00: Use a “frame of reference” when people say things that are hurtful.
  • 14:45: How to improve the relationships in your life.
  • 19:55: What to do with those negative voices in your mind.
  • 23:15: The first date that completely shattered Lisa’s frame of reference.
  • 27:40: 2 powerful ways to use frame of reference in your life.
  • 28:50: 3 questions to ask yourself to determine YOUR frame of reference.
  • 30:00: What we are too quick to do that damages relationships.
  • 34:45: The moment you introduce a special partner to your family.
  • 37:30: A story you’ve never heard from Mel when she was engaged to Chris.
  • 43:30: What Lisa Bilyeu’s father said when Tom asked for her father’s blessing.
  • 46:40: How to think about the big and small decisions in your life.
  • 48:00: How to handle people in your life that you disagree with.
  • 49:00: The 6 words to ask yourself when you’re worried things won’t work.
  • 50:30: How to flip your mindset when you’re doing something scary.
  • 54:45: How Chris and Mel decided to have a third child.
  • 56:00: Do THIS before you have a difficult conversation.
  • 57:10: Listen to this if you’ve chosen to not have children.
  • 59:30: Use this technique before you make any change in your life.
  • 1:05:30: How do you correct a mistake you made as a parent?
  • 1:10:00: Is there something wrong with being an introvert?
  • 1:11:30: If you want a raise at work, you need to do this.
  • 1:12:15: Feeling stuck when it comes to your dreams? Here’s advice.
  • 1:21:00: When something feels really big, approach it this way.
  • 1:22:55: How to get what you want with someone who doesn’t agree.
  • 1:26:15: If you’re not feeling confident, you need to hear this.

Resources and go deeper:

Lisa Bilyeu

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In The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel takes you behind the scenes in real-time. Every episode is packed with tactical advice, hilarious screwups, compelling conversations, and the tools and inspiration you need to create a better life.