How to Build the Life You Want: Timeless Wisdom for More Happiness & Purpose

Do you want to be happier every day and live a more meaningful life? 

In this episode, you’re getting the research, the secrets, and some very surprising takeaways from the #1 happiness expert, Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. 

He has taught 2 of the most popular courses in Harvard’s history, and today you are getting a front row seat in one of his lectures. 

Grab a pen and paper, because class is in session. 

He is here to share all of the groundbreaking research and give you the answers to: 

- What you have wrong about happiness 

- The science-based tools for increasing happiness 

- 5 simple habits for a successful, happy life 

This episode will give you the secret to creating happiness in your life again, with zero weird tricks. 

If you liked this research-packed episode, here’s one you should listen to next: What Makes a Good Life? Lessons From the Longest Study on Happiness.

If you are looking for more coaching, Mel just opened the doors to the once-a-year, science-backed, community-packed coaching program, Launch with Mel Robbins, and wants YOU to join her. 

Over 6 full months, you’ll get step-by-step support through 3 personal or professional projects that are important to you. If you’re ready for deep support, dream-chasing, and a LOT of momentum, this is for you. 

Launch with Mel Robbins closes enrollment on April 25th. If you miss the date, you can hop on the waitlist for next year’s course.

Connect with Mel:

• Liked this episode and want to know what to listen to next? Check out “This One Study Will Change How You Think About Your Entire Life"
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• Disclaimer

In this episode:

• 5:00: The two questions that ultimately led to Dr. Ben-Shahar’s career.
• 6:40: Why you don’t feel happy with your life now.
• 9:40: The research that cautions about what you promise yourself in the morning.
• 12:05: How Helen Keller defined happiness and why that matters.
• 12:25: The 5 major elements of happiness.
• 15:50: Two major models of happiness and the problem with both.
• 18:15: How having a goal makes you happier.
• 21:20: Where do you begin if you don’t even know what happiness feels like?
• 22:45: The shocking but honest answer Dr. Ben-Shahar gave about happiness.
• 26:20: Try one of these 5 one-minute activities when you’re feeling depressed.
• 31:20: How can you be happier if you feel lonely?
• 34:10: Research finds doing this for just 2 minutes makes you happier and healthier.
• 39:45: What does a morning look like for a happiness researcher?
• 42:00: One essential truth to know about happiness.
• 45:15: What does it mean to be “anti-fragile?”
• 50:25: How to have more hope when you’re going through a hard time.
• 53:30: What you need to know about ALL relationships.
• 55:00: The key to systems thinking and why it matters.
• 1:04:07: What does the research say about LASTING change?
• 1:04:45: The 3 Rs of Change that should be at the core of all habit changes.
• 1:10:30: Two essays that Dr. Ben-Shahar recommends if you want to be happier.

Resources and go deeper:

Dr. Tal Ben-Shahr:

• Buy his books. 
• Join Tal's Happiness Studies Program. Use code MR500 if you sign up for a special discount just for listeners of The Mel Robbins Podcast.
• Follow him on Facebook.
• And on Instagram.
• Check out his bio. 

• The Mel Robbins Podcast: "How to Set & Achieve Goals: 2 Surprising Science-Backed Steps You Must Follow" - This is the episode Mel mentions about goals, that cites Dr. Ben-Shahar's research about Olympians
• Harvard School of Arts and Sciences: Master of Happiness, Tal Ben-Shahar.
• New York Times: The happiness course, here’s what you need to know.
• Entrepreneur: 4 practical ways to boost your team’s morale. 
• Psychology Today: The importance of deep relationships. 
• Forbes: 5 ways to break out of your slump. 
• New York Times: How to feel less lonely. 
• Psychology Today: The SPIRE model, what stands in our way of being happy
• Forbes: What the heck is antifragile? 
• Harvard Business Review: How to make a change that lasts 
• The Harvard Gazette: Good genes are nice, but joy is better.
• The Atlantic: Longest study in human health found the key to a good life.
• Frontiers in Psychology: Resilience and stress as mediators of happiness.
• Stanford Center on Longevity: Strong relationships help you live longer.
• Foundation for Social Connection: Guide for building connected communities.
• Psychology Today: Research identifies 2 major causes of loneliness.
• British J of Clinical Psych: Link between emotional regulation and loneliness.
• Psych Central: How to develop the skill of emotional regulation.
• Harvard Business Review: 3 things that won’t make you happy.
• National Public Radio: Jon Kabat-Zinn shares insights to combat isolation.
• Psychology Today: Is our happiness set in stone?
• The New York Times: What makes some people more resilient than others?
• The Guardian: 6 ways to raise a resilient child.
• Science of People: 57 conversation starters for killer conversations.