How Do I Learn to Love Myself, Really?


The Mel Robbins Podcast with Oakley Robbins


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Whatever you're doing right now, stop and make time for this conversation.

Every single day, I get questions from listeners about self-love, self-hatred, and what it actually means to like yourself.

I understand why it’s confusing. 

The topic of self-love is so broad, and there is very little actionable advice on how exactly you learn to like yourself, especially if you’ve spent your whole life being hard on yourself.

So don’t worry, I’ve decided to attack this topic of self-love in a completely unique, surprising, and tactical manner. This is also one of the most personal episodes I’ve released because I’m inviting you to join a conversation I’m having with our 17-year-old son, Oakley.

This is not a “podcast interview.” This is an intimate conversation between a mother and a son about the most important topic you could discuss: self-love. 

When Oakley was in middle school, he hated himself, and as his mom, it was awful to see him so lonely and sad. In today’s conversation, he shares things with me about this time in his life that I never knew.

And more importantly, we unpack the moment he had an epiphany that changed everything.

You will absolutely relate to everything he shares and his reflections about it.

I’m so proud to share this conversation with you. You will be blown away because you’ll not only feel like you’re part of our family, but we’re also welcoming you into our hearts.

You will laugh out loud, even though your heart might break a little. And by the end of it, you’ll have not only wisdom, but also a couple of simple tools to help you learn how to like yourself a little more.

This conversation is a must-listen for EVERYONE in your life. And especially for young adults because when they hear these insights from someone their age, it’s way more compelling than getting advice from an adult.

I do want to be up front about one thing: Oakley is 17 and like most 17-year-olds, whether they do it in front of you or not, he has a case of the F’s, meaning he drops the F-word a fair number of times, and I made a decision to record it as is and allow him to speak freely.

And, I just can’t emphasize enough how much insight this is going to give you into your own relationship with yourself.

I hope you will make the time to spend a half hour with the two of us, because I know you will leave feeling seen, understood, and liking yourself a little better.

I cannot wait to hear what you learn.

Xo Mel


  • Science-backed research around the habit of liking yourself
  • Why we beat ourselves up in the first place
  • Two powerful epiphanies my son had around his own self-esteem
  • The life-changing mantra that you can start repeating to yourself today
  • What it looks like to like yourself
  • What happens when you start to like yourself
  • Two new habits that will train your brain to like who you are, right now


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In The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel takes you behind the scenes in real-time. Every episode is packed with tactical advice, hilarious screwups, compelling conversations, and the tools and inspiration you need to create a better life.