Live a Healthier, Happier, and Longer Life: The Secrets to Feeling Young Forever

Mel Robbins (13:32):

What?

Judie Robbins (13:32):

My brother is the same way every morning he has a metric smoothie and we are addicted to ginger snaps. I don't know where it started. Obviously in our youth four. Well, sometimes more, but oh my God, you're so

Mel Robbins (13:52):

Funny. See, this is why you enjoy your life. Well, yeah. I mean, why not? That's true. That's true. Because we get into these zones. I think especially when you, your grandkids age. And then I think about myself and I'm in my fifties and Sawyers in her mid twenties, and we're always like onto the next exercise and doing the fast and doing this thing. And you've always just enjoyed yourself. I think that's a really important thing since I've known you, at least in terms of you're never on some weird ass diet or restricting yourself in any way. At least it doesn't seem like it.

Judie Robbins (14:28):

I get these guilt things because you guys all do these restrictions. Christopher does 75 hard or you're going to give up. And I said to Christopher, maybe I should stop drinking. And Christopher says, well, at 86 I wouldn't stop drinking. Okay, guess what? I won't.

Mel Robbins (14:46):

I've already chilled the wine for tonight too. What do you have for dinner?

Judie Robbins (14:51):

I usually have chicken or fish. Okay. I'm not much of a meat eater.

Mel Robbins (14:55):

How come gives you

Judie Robbins (14:56):

Gas? No, I just more and more when I wasn't eating meat, I started to think about the animals, I guess. And if I go to your house for dinner and you serve meat, I will eat it, but I won't order it at a restaurant and I would prefer not to cook it every now and then I will.

Mel Robbins (15:18):

What about dessert? What's your feelings on dessert?

Judie Robbins (15:21):

Well, I like cookies.

Mel Robbins (15:23):

Yes.

Judie Robbins (15:24):

So I'll have a cookie.

Mel Robbins (15:25):

You've established that.

Judie Robbins (15:26):

A different kind of cookie maybe, but most of the time I don't eat much dessert.

Mel Robbins (15:30):

Gotcha. And you also don't eat a ton of food, so you know what I mean? But you eat healthy like you,

Judie Robbins (15:37):

In all fairness, when you get to be older, you're just not that hungry.

Mel Robbins (15:42):

Oh, is that something that happens?

Judie Robbins (15:43):

Yes.

Mel Robbins (15:44):

Really?

Judie Robbins (15:45):

And I'm sure that the people that are listening to this have parents and they'll notice that they're not eating like they used to. And it isn't because they're worried about their weight or anything, it's just you don't have that. I mean, when John and I go out to dinner, we'll often split a main course rather than each have one. We realize that we don't finish it.

Mel Robbins (16:07):

So other than eating four ginger snaps with your smoothie, do you have other health secrets? So we've covered that. Walking every single day is an absolute must. So is a yoga class or Pilates class? A couple times a week. What about water? How much water do you drink?

Judie Robbins (16:27):

Not enough.

Mel Robbins (16:27):

What? Judy is the anti health expert. You want to live a long life drink a lot. Don't drink a lot of water, start with coffee, skip breakfast, go for a walk, have some ginger snacks with your smoothie.

Judie Robbins (16:39):

The one thing I do do, I do have kombucha.

Mel Robbins (16:43):

Yes,

Judie Robbins (16:44):

Apple cider vinegar and a fresh orange.

Judie Robbins (16:47):

So I think to myself, that's liquid.

Mel Robbins (16:50):

Yes. Well also sort of like nature's draino. So when you have what is commonly referred to as farmer's switchel, which my grandmother also drank, grandma Eileen also started every single day on the farm with warm water, lemon juice, apple cider vinegar, and a little bit of honey. And I honest to god, man, she went out kicking and screaming like close to a hundred years old. Tough as nails maybe the secret is in that apple cider vinegar,

Judie Robbins (17:20):

They say it cures everything including toe fungus. Do

Mel Robbins (17:23):

You have toe fungus? Should we be worried about this? No. Awesome. So what would you say to someone who's listening or who has forwarded this to their loved one who's getting a little older, so they're listening at the recommendation maybe of their daughter or their son or somebody who cares about them, they haven't been as active as you have. They feel inspired. How would you recommend that they start if they don't know where or what to start with to get active again, even though they're a little older?

Judie Robbins (17:57):

Well, I think it depends on if they're a social person. If they like to be with people, they can always find a gym class. And I would, they like to be with people and they've never done anything. Find a gym class and go to it and be with other people and see what they're doing, whether it's yoga or whether it's a yoga bar or something. And if you're more sedentary or happy with yourself, then just go out and take a walk on a beautiful day. If it's raining, then don't.

Judie Robbins (18:45):

Well, it's important that you reach out because you can't sit home and wait for people to call you. And I really learned that from you after Ken died and I had nothing on my calendar. You said to me, call somebody so you have something on your calendar. That was such good advice, Mel. I stay active if somebody doesn't call me or if I want to have a dinner party and nothing's going on, then I create a dinner party more and more. As you read about longevity, it used to be the Mediterranean diet exercise, but now the more I read, social is becoming first then comes the diet and the exercise because I think being lonely or being by yourself causes depression. And it also, you start to doubt yourself when you're around people, you get built up, people tell you you look attractive or they want to be with you. And so you feel good about yourself.

Mel Robbins (20:00):

It's interesting. You have always made an effort. How long have you been a widow?

Judie Robbins (20:05):

19 years this

Mel Robbins (20:06):

Year. 19 years. This

Judie Robbins (20:09):

Year.

Mel Robbins (20:10):

Ken's been gone.

Judie Robbins (20:11):

19 years. Is that right?

Mel Robbins (20:14):

2 0 6. Oh six. That's 19. Holy. I mean, that's incredible. I know. And I remember that you always made an effort and always kept up and always reached out and always were planning things. And that advice that I gave you about putting something in the calendar was just this thing that I've always felt, which is when I look at a blank calendar, I feel like a loser. 

Judie Robbins (20:54):

Exactly.

Mel Robbins (20:55):

Helps you from that spiral. But you recently moved to a community where there's a lot of programming and it's more of a retirement community. What has been the difference that you've seen in putting yourself in a community where the whole point of it is to be with people that are retired and that are older and to be in a community where there's stuff going on?

Judie Robbins (21:22):

Well, first of all, as my grandchildren call me, it's a fomo.

Mel Robbins (21:25):

Yes,

Judie Robbins (21:26):

You have

Mel Robbins (21:27):

Fomo.

Judie Robbins (21:27):

I am a fomo. And when my friends started moving to this community, I mean after a dinner party with one of my friends and she said she was going, I woke up the next morning, I said, I'm coming.

Mel Robbins (21:41):

Well, I think a lot of people look at those retirement communities. They're like, oh, I don't want to, don't put me in one of those. And I watched my grandmother when my grandfather died, move into one, and all of a sudden it was like retirement camp. I couldn't believe how busy she was and happy she wasn't. So what have you noticed is somebody who's was actually already crazy busy.

Judie Robbins (22:04):

First of all, there's so much to choose from do physically. I mean, they have pickleball on grass

(22:11):

Now is that brilliant? Why don't more people have pickleball on grass? But anyway, it's also a great feeling of security because I have a lot of friends that live around me and I've met people. When I moved in the second day, I had orchids that were delivered from across the street. She walked across the street, hi, my name's Mary, blah, blah, blah. If I didn't come out of my house for four or five hours, somebody would come and check on me. Wow. That's how it feels living here now in your house.

Mel Robbins (22:47):

Yes.

Judie Robbins (22:47):

On 25 acres where you used to live here where I used to live. I mean, I could have been here for days and where I used to live in Florida, even though I lived in a community, everybody did their own business. I could have been flat out for a couple days and no one would've known the difference. It's very different When you're in a community like I'm in

Mel Robbins (23:09):

Now, what advice do you have for keeping friendships so strong?

Mel Robbins (23:52):

So are you saying that the older that you get, if you can not fill your calendar with the obligatory things, but take that same time and be intentional quality about picking up the phone and calling people, whether it's family or it's people that you really, really love hanging out with that's going to keep 'em strong.

Judie Robbins (24:14):

I mean, I used to have dinner parties all the time for eight, 10 people. Now six is like the perfect number.

Mel Robbins (24:21):

Why is six people over the perfect number?

Judie Robbins (24:22):

Because six really talk to each other altogether. You don't have two people talking over here and two over here. So by the end of the evening you really feel so satisfied because you've really been with these

Mel Robbins (24:36):

People. It's true. It's true.

(24:39):

So you've had a lot of adventure in your life and I think there's a lot of questions that people have about it. Can you talk about what you did after your husband Ken died? I think this is advice that is relevant not only when you lose somebody that you love, but also if you go through a divorce 

Judie Robbins (25:16):

Well, the first thing I did was I rented an apartment for three months in New York. Oh my God. It was so lonely because you realize that when you're in New York City and everybody's going one place or another and you have no place to go. So I signed up for art classes at the art students league. So I had a reason to go someplace and come home or go to the movies. And then I took myself on a bike trip to New Zealand, so I was with other people.

Mel Robbins (25:51):

One way that you've stayed active Jude is you plan these trips like bike trips with guides and with friends through your seventies and eighties.

Mel Robbins (26:10):

Can you tell us a little bit about why, especially after Ken died, you started spending your winters in Cambodia and volunteering there? Well, I went there on a bike trip, but this is where it gets interesting. You decide that the next year you're going to go back to Cambodia and you created an experience on your own where you reached out to an elementary school and you arranged to become a tutor to teach English to elementary school students.

Judie Robbins (26:45):

And I just said, I'm going to come back and teach English. Even though I wasn't a teacher, I knew how to talk. And the other thing that I learned and asked was how to make fool out of yourself. If you can make a fool out of yourself, you can teach English even though you've never been a teacher

Mel Robbins (27:05):

And then you reached out to this NGO Cambodian Living Arts to say you'd like to get involved, and you get on a plane and you fly to Cambodia and you're in your late seventies and you've never done anything like this before and you're going to live there. What was it like to land in a foreign country knowing you were going to live there because everybody that knew you were like, you're crazy. What if something happens? What if you have a heart attack? You're going to be halfway across the world. You're going to do this on your own. How's this going to work? I mean, were you ever scared? Did you land and go, what the hell am I doing?

Judie Robbins (27:43):

I don't think I was scared. I think I was excited. I love adventure. I love new things. And what else was I going to do? Stay at home. This was something different and new and it wasn't real hardship. I mean, I was staying in a hotel. It's not like I was camping out in the streets. That's true.

Mel Robbins (28:07):

But I just want to say that it took some balls to do something like that. It did.

Judie Robbins (28:31):

Well, it's so interesting that you asked this question because actually I put this down in a journal the other day. I think I had a very difficult childhood

(28:45):

And it gave me courage that I would not have had if my childhood had been all roses. So I only went two years to college and there wasn't any money to send me beyond that. And even when I was writing my journal, I questioned how I did it. I just moved into Chicago at age 19 and got a job at American Airlines answering phones. And then after I was there for a while, I went upstairs and interviewed to the number one advertising agency at the time and got a job as a receptionist. And then when I was there, I decided I go to secretarial school. And then after a year there, I decided to move to San Francisco. When I was in school, they had only boy cheerleaders for a hundred years. I decided we should have girls. And I somehow got the competition going and created and we had girl cheerleaders. And from then on Nutri High Schools had girl cheerleaders. So I've always been pushing myself into something that's a little scary.

Mel Robbins (30:01):

I love that. I think we all need a little of that call. Push. Just a little push. Yeah, a little. Jj, go get her. Yeah. So what's your message to someone who's really lonely and lost, especially after they've suddenly lost somebody that they love?

Mel Robbins (31:02):

Incredible. You went skydiving for the first time at the age of 80. How did that happen?

Judie Robbins (31:09):

I don't know. I can't remember. One of the boys. Was it Christopher?

Mel Robbins (31:14):

So fomo. You're basically saying one of your sons was going to skydive and you're like,

Mel Robbins (31:38):

Bungee jumping?

Judie Robbins (31:39):

Oh, I loved it. You did? Oh yeah. It was so great.

Mel Robbins (31:42):

What was so great about it?

Judie Robbins (31:43):

Well, it's kind of scary when you really decide to go and then they start counting and you take off. But I like things that kind of scare me. I don't like things that make me dizzy, but I kind of like scary things.

Mel Robbins (31:59):

You got your first tattoo at 85. Can you tell us the story and what did you get?

Judie Robbins (32:06):

Yeah, that's a nice story. So my really, really close friend in Florida, it was dying last march. And so I went and saw her because I knew I wasn't going to see her again. I was leaving and I said to Diana, I said, Diana, do you believe in life after death? She said, oh yeah. I said, really? What do you believe in? She said, oh, I'm going to be a star. And I thought, that is the most brilliant thing I've ever heard. I mean, I'm not particularly religious. We all wonder what's going to happen. And I thought it makes so much sense that we're all going to be stars. That's why there's billions of stars. And then of course, I took it a step further. I thought, well, if I'm a star, I can go and visit my husband and I can see my parents. I can move around, right? Shooting star. So I said to Sawyer, was it Sawyer? Yeah. I said to Sawyer, who's my daughter and your granddaughter? I said, I'm not one into tattoos, but I think I'm going to get a little tattoo with a star. And Sawyer said, well, then I'm going to get one.

Mel Robbins (33:16):

And then we were like, well, then we're going to get one

Mel Robbins (33:48):

Oh, that's beautiful. You did a psychedelic journey in a therapeutic setting with me and my husband, or your son Chris, my husband and Sawyer and Kendall at the age of 85.

Judie Robbins (34:12):

I learned first of all that my granddaughters loved me so much that that was pretty amazing. I mean, they say it, it's a love drug, which I didn't even realize. But wow. I mean, I really felt it. It was probably the most, it's the word reinforcing of who I was and that I'm not alone and that I'm very much loved.

Mel Robbins (34:42):

What are some of your top life lessons that you've learned in 86 years?

Judie Robbins (34:50):

Well, I think I've learned a lot more as I got older because I've always been energetic. But I think I've always kind of wanted to be the center of attention. And now at my age, and I think I've probably started this a couple of years ago, I'm much more patient. I'm much more interested in listening to what somebody else has to say, whereas before I would barely let you finish whatever your subject was before I had something to tell you about me. So tell me, what was the question again? Sure.

Mel Robbins (35:36):

Some of the life lessons you've learned in your 86 years.

Judie Robbins (35:39):

I think listening is probably one of the most incredible things that if you can learn to listen to other people and listen to yourself, that you'll be content.

Mel Robbins (35:56):

And now that you're 86 years old, what have you stopped caring about?

Judie Robbins (36:01):

Well, I still care about what I look like. I mean, I don't go to the grocery store without makeup on really? No. I mean, I don't eyeliner on or anything like that, but I do put, I go for a walk and the stuff that I put on my face has sunblock and it has color in it.

Mel Robbins (36:22):

Okay. What do you put on your face? Everyone's going to want to know,

Judie Robbins (36:24):

Oh, it's called cc.

Mel Robbins (36:26):

I have no idea

Judie Robbins (36:27):

Cc, letter cc. You can get it at

Mel Robbins (36:32):

Alta. Okay.

Judie Robbins (36:33):

And it has 50 in it. You just put it on, it has color in it. You can get all different colors right away. You don't look like, you know what?

Mel Robbins (36:44):

Okay. So you haven't stopped caring what you look

Judie Robbins (36:47):

Like? No, I haven't.

Mel Robbins (36:48):

But mean that's a good thing. You take care of yourself.

Judie Robbins (36:50):

I do.

Mel Robbins (36:51):

But what have you stopped caring about now that you're 86, that maybe you really cared about when you were younger?

Mel Robbins (37:38):

Do you remember a moment or some, because I know nobody wants to care. Nobody wants to worry about what other people think about them. And yet it's a hard thing to teach yourself to really care more about what you think of yourself than what other people think of you. Is there any advice that you have about how somebody who is in that stage of people pleasing or lying or feeling really insecure about who they are, how they could really learn how to care more about how they feel about themselves,

Judie Robbins (38:12):

They could listen to some of your podcasts?

Mel Robbins (38:14):

Oh, Judy,

Judie Robbins (38:15):

I'm serious. It would help. I'm serious. Or some of your books, I mean, read some of these books about yourself or how to make yourself a better person.

Mel Robbins (38:29):

Yeah, that's true. Because when you start to prioritize your health and you start to give back to other people and you start to really spend time doing some of the things that you've always thought about doing, whether it's taking a painting class or taking up a journaling practice or seeing yourself getting out and walking every day, you do become proud of yourself. And when you're so busy trying to impress other people, I think deep down you're not really proud of yourself. So that's one way that you can stop caring so much about other people is really do invest the time in bettering yourself and your health and learning more and giving back. And you'll start to notice you're proud yourself. Yeah, for sure. What do you wish you knew when you were younger that you know now?

Mel Robbins (39:57):

What is your biggest regret now that you're 86?

Judie Robbins (40:00):

That's probably, it is not learning all the things that, I mean, I'm very street smart,

Mel Robbins (40:10):

Definitely,

Judie Robbins (40:11):

But I'm not book smart.

Mel Robbins (40:13):

I think that's a story you tell yourself. You are one of the most well-read people. I know, Judy, you tell this story that you're not like street smart, book smart. I think you're very smart. I wish you would change that story.

Judie Robbins (40:27):

I know. Well, I know other people have said that too, but I live in my own shell, so I know what I know and what I don't know.

Mel Robbins (40:36):

Okay. Well, you're very humble in that regard, but you are one of the most well-read people. I know you forward me more New York Times articles than the New York Times does to read. So yes, you are very well read. Could you speak directly to the person who's listening to you right now and maybe they feel like the best days of their life are behind them? What would you say to them?

Mel Robbins (41:39):

And how about somebody who feels like they're really behind in life? You've got three sons and they've been in various stages in their careers, and you've got all these grandkids, and so you've seen not only in your own life, but you've seen in the lives of family members and people that you care about that people can start to feel like I'm not as successful as I should be, or I'm not my marriage or whatever it may be. I'm not where I should be. What's your advice when you see somebody who feels behind in life?

Judie Robbins (42:13):

I would start probably looking at books about how to better yourself emotionally. Not necessarily you don't have to learn another language or anything like that, but there's so much out there that you can learn by just reading about little things that you can tweak about yourself.

Mel Robbins (42:38):

There are going to be so many listeners around the world, Judy, that not only fall in love with you, but are now thinking about their grandparents or their parents. And I know they are going to forward this episode as a little nudge like, come on now, you could have more energy. I really want you to feel more connected. I'm worried about you being so lonely. Maybe you should volunteer. They're going to be wanting to prod 'em along a little bit. What advice would you have for someone who wants to really inspire their loved ones to find more energy and meaning in their life, even into their eighties, nineties, and a hundred?

Judie Robbins (43:20):

Well, if they could encourage their parents or their grandparents, they could say something like, why don't we take a walk together? Young people tend to want to tell their parents or their grandparents to do this, do that, do that. But how about saying, you know what? Let's do this together. If you don't live close by, get on a plane or drive there. You want to take a walk around the block, you want to take a walk, don't always make it up to them to have to do it all by themselves.

Mel Robbins (43:54):

I think that's amazing. So one of my best friends, Jody moved from Santa Barbara back home to Michigan,

(44:01):

And she, part of the impetus was just kind of no feeling like I don't know how much time I'm going to have with them and going, I want to be there and go on the walk with them. And I love that thing. Don't give them the advice. Sign up for the class with them. She was just explaining this the other night. She was like, I said, what are you doing this week? She said, well, I found a opportunity to judge a bass fishing competition. So I signed my dad and I up and we're going to go, and I have no idea how to judge a bass fishing competition. But he's so excited. And I thought, what a beautiful thing that you weren't just prodding him to do something, that you found something and that you are doing it with him. So many people write in and say they wish their life was more purposeful. How have you found a sense of purpose in your life now that you're 86?

Judie Robbins (44:57):

Just staying connected or, I think that so many people think I should have a hobby. I think that's full of, you don't have to have a hobby, you just have to have a reason why you want to get up. And that reason is that you're so lucky that you can do something. I mean, I just called my best friend from high school who I haven't spoken to in my God, I don't know when, just to see if she's alive the same age as I am. Was she? Yes, but not in great mind, I don't think

Mel Robbins (45:43):

In terms of Alzheimer's or dementia.

Judie Robbins (45:44):

I don't know. I think so.

Mel Robbins (45:46):

I mean,

Judie Robbins (45:46):

She usually would ask me about myself or my kids, and it was a little flat, a little like I just assumed get off the phone.

Mel Robbins (45:55):

Gotcha.

Judie Robbins (45:56):

But I'm glad I called her. And then after that last week, I just called another friend and I did connect with her so that I could find out high school was we graduated in 1955. Wow.

Mel Robbins (46:09):

So you make an effort. Literally, it sounds like there's two things. First of all, you practice this profound sense of gratitude that you even woke up. And the second thing is you make it a point to reach out to people every day. That connection, whether it is reciprocated or not, is something that gives your life meaning.

Judie Robbins (46:30):

Yes. And I think what's really important is don't expect to have a feedback. We have this chain called the Robins Gang, and I send out a picture

Judie Robbins (46:48):

And so I'll send out a picture, which I just did last week.

Mel Robbins (46:52):

Literally two people will heart

Judie Robbins (46:54):

It, maybe, maybe no one. There's 18 of us on

Mel Robbins (46:58):

There.

Judie Robbins (46:59):

I get nothing. And so maybe I'll send it out again and I still don't get anything. Well, I don't harbor. I don't think like, oh my God, they don't love me, or they're not, they're busy, but at least I'm making them aware that I'm still around.

Mel Robbins (47:14):

I think that's a really important part because it is so easy to put something out, whether it's I always invite or I always call, or I'm always the one putting something in the family group chat and nobody's reciprocating. It's very, very easy to start to get resentful and to then pull back. You don't do

Judie Robbins (47:34):

That. Well, everybody's busy. I know that. It's my way of saying, don't forget about me. I'm still there.

Mel Robbins (47:44):

It is amazing. It's not so easy to do if the person listening, Jude takes just one action. Based on everything that you spoke about today, what do you think the most important thing to do is? Is it the ginger snaps with the smoothie? The most important? Yeah. If they only take because everybody's busy and they're going to listen and really laugh with you and forward this to somebody that they love, to inspire them to start walking or connecting or feeling more grateful or realizing that the best days aren't behind you because the days are what you make of them, and the people that you care about are still there and there are people that you know that are still there and you can reach out. And so there's a lot that you've given people to think about, whether it's jumping out of airplanes or getting a tattoo or your just philosophy of staying active and why even reading and walking every day gives more energy to your life. So there's a lot, and I love to have the person listening know what you think the singular most important thing is? They're not going to remember everything.

Judie Robbins (49:07):

To reach out to your friends, stay connected so you don't feel alone. That would be the most important because loneliness will just bring you down and that brings sickness. Taking meds that you probably don't even need. One thing leads to another. If you stay connected, if you have a problem, pick up the phone and be honest with your friend. If you cry, cry, say, I'm lonely, can I come over and see you? So we don't have a lot of time in this world. So I think you reach for the golden ring when you can still see it. That's beautiful. What are your parting words? Stay in love.

Mel Robbins (49:56):

Stay in love. What does that mean?

Judie Robbins (49:58):

Just love your being. Love yourself. Love your friends. Love your life. You just never know when it's going to end. And believe me, when you get to be my age, you think a lot more about the fact that you have a lot of friends who aren't here anymore.

Mel Robbins (50:21):

I wonder you're the most popular expert we have on the Mel Robbins podcast.

Judie Robbins (50:25):

Thank you, Mel.

Mel Robbins (50:26):

No, thank you. I love you. You are such a gift to all of us, but to me in particular, I just love you so much.

Judie Robbins (50:33):

I love you, and I love your podcast.

Mel Robbins (50:37):

Well, thank you. And for you being here with us, I also just want to say I love you too and I believe in you, and I bet Judy does too. I do. And I believe in your ability to create a better life. Now. You listen to this 86-year-old and go do it. Get your rear end out for a walk and then call your friends. You can thank us later. I'll talk to you a few days. Thank you so much. I just want to take a quick pause and say thank you, thank you. Thank you for watching the Mel Robbins podcast on YouTube. I love that you are trying to improve your life by watching this episode that's going to help you feel happier every day, and simple things you can do to improve your health. Did you know that doing things for other people is one thing that is proven to make you feel happy? So let me ask you a favor. Can you click the subscribe button below? It will help you stay up to date on the Mel Robbins podcast episodes, and it will help me bring more information like this to you totally free. If you like this video, you have to watch this one coming up next. This one study will change how you think about your entire life. Check it out.