You Learn This Too Late: This One Idea Might Change Your Entire Life

Today’s episode is a wake-up call. 

By the time you finish listening, you’ll have an entirely different approach to how you think about life. 

This is one of the most profound and insightful episodes of all time on The Mel Robbins Podcast. 

Joining Mel today is the renowned clinical psychologist and spiritual teacher, Dr. Shefali. 

This conversation strikes deep into the core of what it means to be alive and the mistakes that you are likely to make in every relationship you have. 

It is an invitation for you to really consider your own experience and how your parent-child relationship impacted you, including how you show up in your day-to-day life and how you do (or will) show up as a parent. 

Dr. Shefali will help you break cycles and reparent yourself. She’ll give you the steps to find your authentic self and maybe even have a spiritual awakening. 

 And you’ll learn the BEST advice for raising kids (and supporting adult children) that Mel has ever heard. 

 Dr. Shefali received her doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University. She's an expert in family dynamics and is known as the pioneer of the conscious parenting movement. She specializes in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy and is a New York Times bestselling author of 7 books.

Her simple words will change how you think about yourself, your life, and your relationships in a whole new way. 

If you liked this enlightening episode, you’ll love listening to this episode next: Life Is Short (How to Spend It Wisely)

Connect with Mel:

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• Disclaimer

In this episode:

• 4:40: What is conscious parenting?
• 8:10: The greatest gift that comes from conscious parenting.
• 10:42: What conscious parenting can teach you if you are not a parent.
• 14:15: The problem with wanting your child to be happy.
• 17:19: The REAL reason that we should have children.
• 20:05: The most toxic parenting behavior.
• 22:49: What a controlling parenting style signals to your child. 
• 29:32: Why it is so hard for parents to release control over their children. 
• 32:41: How to stop making your parent, child, or significant other the enemy.
• 37:32: The importance of having compassion for where your parents came from.
• 40:54: Conscious parenting is not a label. it’s this instead.
• 43:44: How to start letting go of control.
• 45:31: How to help someone dealing with anxiety and depression, instead of controlling them. 
• 52:58: Simple things parents can do to model being in the present moment.
• 56:51: How social media is impacting children and their ability to connect.
• 1:00:36: You NEED to hear this if you’re a parent feeling guilty about the past.
• 1:03:33: Parenting expert says to check this when sitting with someone you love.
• 1:06:58: What unconditional love is really showing. 
• 1:08:31: Do this to connect with your adult child.
• 1:10:30: What is the balance between support and control?
• 1:13:35: How to rebuild a relationship that you feel you grew apart from.
• 1:17:30: The TRUTH about boundaries.
• 1:21:08: What to do when someone you love is in a destructive relationship.
• 1:25:13: THIS is the greatest act of love.
• 1:27:30: What to do if you start asking yourself “what now?”
• 1:29:50: How to answer the question, “who am I?”
• 1:33:30: If there’s one thing you take away from this, let it be this.

Dr. Shefali:

• Check out her website here.
• Purchase her latest book here.
• Follow her on Instagram.
• And find her on Tik Tok.
• Listen to her incredible podcast, Parenting & You.
• Subscribe to her YouTube Channel.
• Get her free meditation here.
• Watch Dr. Shefali’s TED Talk here.

Additional Resources:

• Harvard Business Review: A guide to setting better boundaries
• Cleveland Clinic: What is conscious parenting? 
• The New York Times: Your adult child may be doing better than you think
• The New York Times: Resolutions for parents of grown children 
• Forbes: The critical difference between pressure and support 
• Harvard Business Review: Creating a culture of unconditional love
• Harvard Health: Understanding the stress response 
• Harvard Health: Managing intrusive thoughts 
• National Institute of Health: Understanding the parent-child relationship
• North Dakota University: Strengthening older adulthood parent-child connections  
• Forbes: 3 reasons why some parent-child relationships turn toxic, from a psychologist 
• Stanford: Building and maintaining healthy relationships