The One Science-Backed Habit You Need This Year


The Mel Robbins Podcast with Special Guest Chris Robbins


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I want this year to be the best year of your life. 

So we’re going to talk about the one habit that researchers say has the biggest, overall impact on the quality of your life. 

And that habit is learning to be kind and loving to yourself. 

We all know we need to learn how to love ourselves, but no one has taught you HOW. 

Until now.

In this episode, I am teaching you how to start loving yourself with a simple habit that you can add to your morning routine. 

I’ve got loads of research to prove why this habit matters and how it will change your life. 

And bring your Kleenex.

Today I’m not only answering questions from some listeners about self-love, I also invited my husband, Chris, to come on and explain why he thought this habit was so stupid when I first shared it with him. 

The conversation took a turn that I was not expecting.

It gets very personal and both Chris and I end up crying. He shares details about a period of his life where the shame and sense of failure were so palpable that he couldn’t even look himself in the mirror. I’m so proud of him, and moved by his vulnerability.

This is an episode every man, boy, or anyone who identifies as male needs to hear. It’s not just we women who struggle with self-love; the men in your life are struggling, too. That’s why we all need to be practicing this habit every single morning. 

You’re going to learn that love is not something you feel; it’s something you must demonstrate. And that’s what I’m going to teach you to do. 

You’ll want to listen until the very end, because you’ll meet a woman whose entire life trajectory changed by simply trying this habit once.

Xo Mel

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • 1:50  The habit that has changed the lives of thousands of people
  • 3:50 HOW do I love myself?
  • 4:28 Why it’s so hard to love yourself
  • 5:11 The secret to self-love
  • 6:04 What the science says about why you should do this after brushing your teeth
  • 7:05 50% of people find it impossible to do this
  • 9:30 Learn about neurobics and how it helps you learn a new habit faster.
  • 12:22 The dopamine hit that boosts your mood
  • 14:09 What you tell yourself every time you do this one habit
  • 15:25 One study about how this habit creates winning teams
  • 16:40 How this habit helped kids perform better and work longer
  • 20:48 Why my husband, Chris, thought this habit was ridiculous at first
  • 22:20 The profound insight Chris had when he took the 5-day challenge
  • 25:19 Why you’re going to want to share this with the men in your life
  • 25:55 When in his life Chris started to feel like a failure
  • 34:00 What all men struggle with
  • 36:39 What Chris has to say to all the men out there
  • 40:20 Why I sign off every letter and every episode the way I do
  • 45:00 The message from a listener that every skeptic needs to hear

Resources and study links:

  • For Closed Captions: Watch on YouTube and turn on “CC.” For instructions to turn on closed captions, click here.
  • To take the High 5 Challenge, go to
  • Get The High 5 Habit book or eBook. Within the book are pages of references and studies about The High 5 Habit!
  • Dr. Lawrence Katz, neurobics book
  • Dr. Lawrence Katz, neurobics information
  • University of Wisconsin: Self-affirmation activates brain systems associated with self-related processing and reward and is reinforced by future orientation
  • University of Akron: "High fives motivate: the effects of gestural and ambiguous verbal praise on motivation"
  • Baylor research: "Saying “No” to Cake or “Yes” to Kale: Approach and Avoidance Strategies in Pursuit of Health Goals"
  • University of Hertfordshire: "Self-acceptance may be key to a happier life"
  • Berkeley research: "Tactile communication, cooperation, and performance: An ethological study of the NBA."
  • Dr. David Eagleman, neuroplasticity book

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In The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel takes you behind the scenes in real-time. Every episode is packed with tactical advice, hilarious screwups, compelling conversations, and the tools and inspiration you need to create a better life.