Where Did All My Friends Go? A Simple Guide to Finding Your People (Steal This!)


The Mel Robbins Podcast


Listen to the Mel Robbins Podcast twice per week, every Monday and Thursday, to achieve the life of your dreams.


In this episode, I show you how to find your people, have more fun, and create meaningful friendships as an adult in a very simple way.

And it starts with your morning coffee. 

Plus, I’m sharing 4 opening lines and tactics you can use when approaching a potential new friend.

Can we just be honest? Making new friends as an adult is so hard. And I believe that we are all struggling with it.

So I’m going to share the strategies that I have used in the last year to go from moving to a new town and feeling like I have "no friends" to taking the steps to create an awesome new circle of adult friends.

 You will learn:

  • The ONE practical and life-changing tool you need to create adult friendships
  • A fun framework for friendship that involves the 4 different types of coffee shops in your area
  •  The lies we all tell ourselves about friendships that keep us thinking we have none
  • How remote work has changed the friendship game
  • The single best place to park yourself on a Saturday morning to find your people
  • How to approach a stranger (potential friend) without coming across as weird, creepy, or awkward

What I’m sharing today works because this is how I found my people in the last 12 months.

Xo Mel

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • 2:37: Today I feel like I’m living in an adult summer camp; it wasn’t always this way.
  • 4:31: It is within your power to create community and connection.
  • 7:13: What happens when you look through the lens of loneliness?
  • 8:55: The #1 mistake I made with my friendships.
  • 10:15: If you want the flower to grow, you need to plant the seed. Let me explain.
  • 14:05: The lie you’re telling yourself when it comes to friendships.
  • 18:44: Why making friends feels so hard nowadays.
  • 20:07: A fun framework for friendship that involves the 4 different types of coffee shops in your area.
  • 27:58: The coffee shop I go to and why it’s been a game changer for meeting potential friends. 
  • 31:28: I challenge you to do this the next time you get a coffee.
  • 33:08: Friendship is a verb, you have to make it happen.
  • 34:18: This ONE tool will allow you to create lasting bonds.
  • 35:03: For all my introverts, here is my advice for you...
  • 36:18: The easiest ways to create connection in any situation.
  • 37:20: Don’t have weekend plans? You will after you do this.
  • 41:08: Making new friends can be fun and easy (I’m being serious).

Resources and go deeper:

  • For Closed Captions: Watch on YouTube and turn on “CC.” For instructions to turn on closed captions, click here.

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In The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel takes you behind the scenes in real-time. Every episode is packed with tactical advice, hilarious screwups, compelling conversations, and the tools and inspiration you need to create a better life.