Where Did All My Friends Go? A Simple Guide to Finding Your People (Steal This!)
Episode 82: The Mel Robbins Podcast
Listen to the Mel Robbins Podcast twice per week, every Monday and Thursday, to achieve the life of your dreams.
In this episode, I show you how to find your people, have more fun, and create meaningful friendships as an adult in a very simple way.
And it starts with your morning coffee.
Plus, I’m sharing 4 opening lines and tactics you can use when approaching a potential new friend.
Can we just be honest? Making new friends as an adult is so hard. And I believe that we are all struggling with it.
So I’m going to share the strategies that I have used in the last year to go from moving to a new town and feeling like I have "no friends" to taking the steps to create an awesome new circle of adult friends.
You will learn:
- The ONE practical and life-changing tool you need to create adult friendships
- A fun framework for friendship that involves the 4 different types of coffee shops in your area
- The lies we all tell ourselves about friendships that keep us thinking we have none
- How remote work has changed the friendship game
- The single best place to park yourself on a Saturday morning to find your people
- How to approach a stranger (potential friend) without coming across as weird, creepy, or awkward
What I’m sharing today works because this is how I found my people in the last 12 months.
Xo Mel
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- 2:37: Today I feel like I’m living in an adult summer camp; it wasn’t always this way.
- 4:31: It is within your power to create community and connection.
- 7:13: What happens when you look through the lens of loneliness?
- 8:55: The #1 mistake I made with my friendships.
- 10:15: If you want the flower to grow, you need to plant the seed. Let me explain.
- 14:05: The lie you’re telling yourself when it comes to friendships.
- 18:44: Why making friends feels so hard nowadays.
- 20:07: A fun framework for friendship that involves the 4 different types of coffee shops in your area.
- 27:58: The coffee shop I go to and why it’s been a game changer for meeting potential friends.
- 31:28: I challenge you to do this the next time you get a coffee.
- 33:08: Friendship is a verb, you have to make it happen.
- 34:18: This ONE tool will allow you to create lasting bonds.
- 35:03: For all my introverts, here is my advice for you...
- 36:18: The easiest ways to create connection in any situation.
- 37:20: Don’t have weekend plans? You will after you do this.
- 41:08: Making new friends can be fun and easy (I’m being serious).
Resources and go deeper:
- For Closed Captions: Watch on YouTube and turn on “CC.” For instructions to turn on closed captions, click here.
- The Secret to Living Longer May Be Your Social Life - Susan Pinker
- The Liking Gap: do people like us more than we think? - Research out of Harvard, Yale, Cornell, and Essex
- Good genes are nice, but joy is better - Harvard Study of Adult Development
- How to Make Friends? Study reveals time it takes - University of Kansas
- Text Your Friends: It matters more than you think - New York Times
- Friendships: Enrich your life and improve your health - Mayo Clinic
- Surgeon General Advisory Raises Alarm about the Devastating Impact of the Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation in the United States - U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
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In The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel takes you behind the scenes in real-time. Every episode is packed with tactical advice, hilarious screwups, compelling conversations, and the tools and inspiration you need to create a better life.
