Change Your Relationship With Alcohol – How to Control Your Urge to Drink

Episode 84: The Mel Robbins Podcast

With Rachel Hart


Listen to the Mel Robbins Podcast twice per week, every Monday and Thursday, to achieve the life of your dreams.


Today on the podcast, you and I are having a deeply personal and eye-opening conversation about alcohol and your relationship to it.

Rachel Hart is a best-selling author and master coach who has helped thousands of people re-examine their relationship with alcohol, and that’s exactly what she is going to help you do today.

Rachel knows the surprising reason you (and I) crave a drink (or have the urge to shop, vape, play video games, scroll on social media, or want something sweet).

She’ll also explain that weird cycle of emotions you experience after drinking.

Did I drink too much last night? Did I do anything I regret? Should I stop drinking altogether? Should I detox this week before the wedding next weekend? How do I drink less? Maybe it’s time I stopped altogether.

You’ll learn that this agitation and conflict about alcohol are normal. The question is, How do you change it?

Rachel says it’s by examining the desires underneath the urge.

Today, Rachel will help you unpack urges and desires and teach you why boundaries go right out the window when you feel an urge.

Today you’ll learn:

  • What your drinking might really be all about (it’s not what you think)
  • Why feeling conflicted about drinking is normal
  • Where do urges really come from, and how do you ignore them?
  • How your first experience with alcohol impacts your relationship with it
  • What your desires are trying to tell you
  • How to ditch the shame once and for all
  • The complicated messaging around alcohol
  • The 30-day plan Rachel uses with all her clients

Not sure if you have a problem with alcohol? Worried about someone else who does? You're not ready to quit alcohol all together, but you wish you’d not reach for the glass of wine most nights. Wonder if maybe you should stop?

Perfect. Listen in. 

You can change your relationship with alcohol.

After this episode, you’ll know how.

Xo Mel 

For two free workbooks from Rachel, CLICK HERE. (I mention these in the episode!)

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • 02:12: Why is my relationship with alcohol so confusing?
  • 05:43: The shame cycle I go through every time I drink
  • 12:08: What does your urge actually symbolize? For me, I had to go back to when I was 14 to figure it out. 
  • 15:07: You are creating boundaries that justify your cravings and urges.
  • 20:06: What your urges and cravings are trying to communicate to you
  • 23:07: The difference between your upper and lower brain and what you need to know
  • 26:10: How to stop drinking without stopping drinking
  • 28:09: Learning how to change means having a different relationship with commitment.
  • 36:18: Tool #1: Name the urge when it’s happening.
  • 40:06: Why "just say no" doesn’t work
  • 48:03: Stop looking for answers from others. You have an inner knowing of what’s best for you.
  • 54:47: Tool #2: Ask yourself, If you couldn’t drink for the rest of your life, what would it feel like?
  • 58:30: Disappointment when you give up your urges is normal.

Resources and go deeper:

  • For Closed Captions: Watch on YouTube and turn on “CC.” For instructions to turn on closed captions, click here.

Rachel Hart

Online Alcohol Support Groups: 

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In The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel takes you behind the scenes in real-time. Every episode is packed with tactical advice, hilarious screwups, compelling conversations, and the tools and inspiration you need to create a better life.