Why Is Adult Friendship So Hard? 5 Lies You Tell Yourself & the Truth You Need to Hear

A survival guide to adult friendship: how to find your people, have more fun, and create meaningful friendships as an adult.

This is the topic you and everyone else are thinking about.

From making new friends to staying connected to your old ones, to the thing that’s really hard: what do you do when your friendships start to fade?

This is something I’ve been dying to talk to you about because I am right here, shoulder to shoulder with you, feeling lonely, left out, and wondering…

Where did all my friends go?

I know I’m not the only one because when I do see my friends or meet someone new, everyone is talking about how they never see their friends anymore.

Let’s fix that.

I spent a lot of time reflecting on the things that I’m doing that keep me from putting myself out there (which I know I need to do) and did extensive research on the topic.

What I discovered is both comforting and empowering. I can’t wait to share it with you.

I can boil all of this research down to the 5 lies you and I tell ourselves about friendship.

These lies are keeping you from having the best relationships of your life.

That’s why you need to hear them.

So did I.

You also need to hear the truth bombs I’m dropping and the smarty pants research I found to back it all up.

Because once you stop repeating these lies, your life will open up again.

You’ll have an easier time finding, making, and strengthening your relationships with friends. 

And most importantly, your friendships will align with who you really are and what you really want in this chapter of your life.

Today it’s just you and me, friend to friend, figuring sh*t out together.

So let’s go.

Xo Mel 

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AND THAT'S NOT ALL! IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WILL LEARN...

• The 5 lies you tell yourself about friendship
• 5 truths you need to tell yourself instead
• What I learned once I stopped telling myself these lies
• Why it’s so hard to make friends once we’re out of school
• The text from my friend Brendan Burchard that shook me awake
• A new way to think about your BFF
• Why a 4 AM friend is all you need
• The belief that turns you into a people-pleaser
• 3 practical, life-changing tools to help you make friends
  

GO DEEPER INTO THE EPISODE:

• For Closed Captions: Watch on YouTube and turn on “CC.” For instructions to turn on closed captions, click here.
• My episode on Call Her Daddy about friendship: Where Did All My Friend Go?
• The Secret to Living Longer May Be Your Social Life - Susan Pinker's TED Talk
• The Liking Gap: do people like us more than we think? - Research out of Harvard, Yale, Cornell, and University of Essex
• Good genes are nice, but joy is better - Harvard Study of Adult Development
• How to Make Friends? Study reveals time it takes - University of Kansas research
• Text Your Friends: It matters more than you think - New York Times article
• The Surprise of Reaching Out: Appreciated More Than We Think - University of Pittsburgh research
• Why Your Social Life Is Not What It Should Be - New York Times article. Go deeper into Nicholas Epley (U. Chicago)'s research: here and here
• Motivation Is Garbage episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast

MY FRIENDS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE:

• Glo Atanmo – she sent me the voice memo :) Her Instagram, her website
• Brendon Burchard: His Instagram, his website

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