Steal This From My Therapist: 2 Steps to Flip a Bad Day Into an Amazing One

Mel Robbins (00:18:02):

And so I then kept going and she said, and there's two things going on. You process seasons and seasonal changes both through the limbic brain and through circadian rhythm. And so you're processing things from a psychological and a emotional and chemical and physiological level. And as the days get shorter and as night starts to go, and as this huge season of change happens,

 

Amy (00:18:31):

And the smell too, like the smell of fall and all

 

Mel Robbins (00:18:34):

The triggers of fall, they're huge. And she said that this is triggering all your stored memories of all the very difficult transitions that you went through as a young adult in fall marked by your self hatred, marked by your disassociation.

 

(00:18:55):

So it gets even cooler and better. So I'm now like, oh my God, I have to move from Vermont. I can't live in the mountains. I can't list around it by the fall. This place is all pumpkin lattes and cornstalks and farms and the leaves turning and leaf beavers get the fuck out of here. And then she said, and your primary symptom when you felt injured or scared or alone or sad, is to disassociate and disconnect. And then she says, and I want you to consider that you have done two years of intense therapy. You've done two years intense, two years of intentional changes in your business, in where you live, in your marriage, in your own psychology, your own nervous system. And she said, you are strengthening this muscle inside of you to be in a state of flow, to be present, to be your full expression, to allow happiness and connection in to let the love in. And you just, in the past 14 days, Mel, you just were the purest expression of your highest self. And you have figured out through what you do, whether it's talking to people that you bump into that are fans that are impacted by your work as you're eating dinner or you're walking down the street, that is a pure expression of the light inside you.

 

(00:20:37):

If you're standing on a stage, if you're seeing friends who are magically like Jay was six stories above, if you're allowing people to celebrate you if you're creating, because I said to her, I have never felt more creatively energized. She said, of course not, because you're letting love in and because you are letting people in and because you are working so hard on your own healing, you're able to receive. But let me tell you, and this is where she flipped it on me,

 

Amy (00:21:01):

Oh God.

 

Mel Robbins (00:21:02):

And where I think that there is a connection for you, this is where Anne flipped the pancake and I wasn't ready yet. There's those pieces that get left on the pan. Yes. She goes, you have not done that work yet completely in your private life. So when you're with friends, when you are creating something, when you are out and about and in the world, and you are channeling all of who you are into service and making a difference through the work that you do and how you show up for other people, she said, we have been working in therapy and you being able to do that same thing for yourself as an individual when you're in private moments.

 

(00:21:55):

And so she said, it's not surprising that since you are plugged into this part of you that can channel magic and the divine and flow states and quantum, and you are your highest level of service and you're driving up to Vermont and you're highly connected to 

(00:22:56):

And that's all that's happened. And she also then said the fact that you recognized it, the fact that you recognized that your mind started racing for answers. So of course you would go, well, my daughters aren't here. That's why I'm said that's why. That's not why I feel this. I feel this because my body, and I learned this from Dr. Becky, you are an adult living in the body that you were born in fashioned by the experiences that your mind doesn't have a story to tell about. And so I still have that body of feeling sad and feeling lonely. And the only thing that my body does in those moments is it disassociates. And so the opportunity for me in those moments is to notice it, to not try to change it. Decided that tonight, I said to Chris, all I want to do is lay on the couch with you and watch a movie I used to do when I was a kid. Just want to watch a movie. Sounds awesome. So Amy, what are you getting from this

 

Amy (00:24:03):

Immediately when you did that exercise with, where do you feel your shit? I don't know. What's that exercise called?

 

Mel Robbins (00:24:11):

Where do you feel you close your eyes and where do you feel the pressure or the tension or the sadness? And tell everybody what you said again and I'll walk you through it.

 

Amy (00:24:20):

My upper chest and my neck area is where I felt it.

 

Mel Robbins (00:24:26):

And do you feel it now?

 

Amy (00:24:30):

It's still there, but it's significantly less.

 

Mel Robbins (00:24:34):

And can you visualize that oily, viscous thing floating out in front of you?

 

Amy (00:24:41):

Yeah. I actually find it easier to take a step back from it. But yeah, same thing.

 

Mel Robbins (00:24:47):

And when you turn it into yourself at any age, what is it?

 

Amy (00:24:52):

Ugh. I immediately feel so bad for that kid. I just feel so bad for that kid. And what comes up for me is just being left out, not being the favorite, not ever being able to be the favorite.

 

Mel Robbins (00:25:22):

Did this happen, you listened to the episode on narcissism by any chance? I

 

Amy (00:25:26):

Happen

 

Mel Robbins (00:25:27):

To do that. I happen to do that, yes. And were you the scapegoat of your

 

Amy (00:25:32):

Family? I definitely was not the golden child. My brother was the golden child. And then of course, my brother died. My brother had cancer for two years. He died at the age of 12 and I was 10. And when the golden child is six feet under, they're even more golden than you can't compete with somebody who isn't even here. He was just so fantastic. And I mean that funny and not funny. He really was fantastic. And also he was too fantastic for me. So I listened to the narcissist episode and I got so much from it, even though I have studied that for a really long time. Still, it comes up in layers. You're ready to hear one part, and then you hear it a few months or a few years later and you're like, oh my God, I'm hearing this part. And you can get stronger and stronger in it. And that means you have to understand more and more of it too. So yeah, that was really helpful. And also I'm doing work on that part.

 

Mel Robbins (00:26:40):

What triggered you today? What do you think? Is it, because for me, it made a lot of sense for me when she said, you have been really dialed in a very healed way and feeling very empowered, and at some point you're going to feel injured again. And it was the fall and it was the, oh, she used this analogy. She said, it's like you've been riding a roller coaster. That was awesome. And then you get off that roller coaster and you feel shaky.

 

Amy (00:27:12):

Yeah, that's really good. You should just record your therapy sessions then. We don't have to talk about

 

Mel Robbins (00:27:17):

I have asked Ann. She said she is thinking about it.

 

Amy (00:27:20):

Okay, good.

 

Mel Robbins (00:27:21):

I have asked her if she would be willing to come on once a month and I would do therapy with her.

 

Amy (00:27:27):

She's so smart.

 

Mel Robbins (00:27:28):

Or anybody,

 

Amy (00:27:29):

That idea of the rollercoaster. Rollercoaster and what other thought I had too, which was like, I hope I don't have this thought, but I think I have this thought, which is the other shoe always has to drop. It's so great. What are you going to make that's going to be shitty now because it just has to be shitty. I don't think I'm that person, but I was like, oh shit. Am I that person that's now making things bad because I can't cope with things that are really fucking awesome? I won't be able to deal with it. So I have to kind of

 

Mel Robbins (00:28:12):

Make things bad. And when there's nothing bad, this is what I am learning about myself, is that this is such a coping mechanism to lower your expectations or to disassociate or to feel lonely or alone. The story that you told yourself as a kid, even though yours was true, by the way that did happen,

 

Amy (00:28:30):

It's true. And I don't need to believe it for myself now

 

Mel Robbins (00:28:35):

As

 

Amy (00:28:35):

An adult, I can let that go. But I think there's a lot of emotion in letting that go and just allowing that to come up is important and painful. Sometimes it's painful.

 

Mel Robbins (00:28:49):

It is. The more that I'm aware of these moments where I disassociate or the injured part of me appears from childhood, my natural instinct is to be like, well, let's just have a drink or let's just laugh this away, or let's just ignore the sensation and get busy. Of course. And I'm trying so hard to get curious instead to go, oh, there it is. Don't start making up a story. Say it out loud to yourself. Oh, I'm actually feeling really sad

 

Amy (00:29:21):

Out loud. You have to say it. That

 

Mel Robbins (00:29:23):

Is, well, I am. I'm like, because otherwise I think about it.

 

Amy (00:29:25):

Right? And we know the thinking is not what we need to be doing right now

 

Mel Robbins (00:29:31):

In

 

Amy (00:29:31):

Those moments. Definitely not. And then I turned to Chris. I was going to say, I hope you do. Yeah. So what do you say to Chris?

 

Mel Robbins (00:29:37):

Well, first I put my hand on my heart because I know now from Dr. Kennedy, Russell Kennedy, on the heal your anxiety stuff that you have to first reassure yourself. You have to give yourself love in that moment. You have to affirm your okayness. You got to let your own love in. And so I did that and it definitely quieted the alarm, but I really wanted more because I don't like to feel this way.

 

Amy (00:30:02):

I know.

 

Mel Robbins (00:30:03):

And so I just asked Chris if he would give me a hug. And I said to him, I said, I feel anxious. I don't know why. I don't know. I don't want to feel this way. And so I just hugged him in that...

(00:31:29):

And not spend so much time in the other part of us, which is the injured part, the part of us from childhood that had to cope with whatever was happening to you as a young kid,

 

(00:31:46):

Most of which I'm learning more and more as we interview experts on this podcast and talk to people about their lived experiences that happened to you before you were even five, which means the only story you have about it is the story. Adults have told you about it if you even have a story about it, but your body has a memory of it. And so these deep emotions, like the sadness that you're feeling or feeling off or not feeling like yourself, I think the more work you do on yourself, the more anytime you don't feel like yourself is ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, the injured, you are drifting into the injured. You just sit with it.

 

Amy (00:32:33):

Yeah. They want you there and they need you there. And that's where you need to be. And you and I are both. I don't want to be here. Oh, I hate it. It's not fun.

 

Mel Robbins (00:32:42):

I'm like, can this bitch just go back to elementary school? So over this feeling,

 

Amy (00:32:46):

If you get an au pair for your injured self and just have somebody else take care of it, I don't want to do it. It is painful.

 

Mel Robbins (00:32:54):

Well, the other thing that Anne said to me that was so interesting, and I am sure people have said this to me a million times before, but today I got it.

 

Amy (00:33:01):

Oh, I love that.

 

Mel Robbins (00:33:02):

You ready?

 

Amy (00:33:02):

Tell. Yeah, because I'll probably get it too. Now, I hope

 

Mel Robbins (00:33:07):

She said that that injured part of you is so familiar with whatever it was that you did as a kid to protect yourself from getting hurt. And an example of that would be if your parents were not that affectionate to begin with, you would start to learn, why on earth would I put myself out there? Yeah. I'll just pull back. Because not expecting it, not asking for it is a way to protect myself.

 

Amy (00:33:44):

It's better than being

 

Mel Robbins (00:33:44):

Rejected from the rejection that I feel or staying quiet so that you don't get in the middle of the fight or keeping the peace or all the things that you did to gain the approval and love and the okayness that we all needed as kids, that the injured part of you is so used to. For me, it is leaving my body and then getting stuck in my head thinking all kinds of terrible things.

 

Amy (00:34:12):

Right.

 

Mel Robbins (00:34:14):

For you, what is it?

 

Amy (00:34:18):

Shame and sadness.

 

Mel Robbins (00:34:22):

What she said to me was this. She said that injured part of you, whenever you feel the normal emotion of shame and sadness, right?

 

Amy (00:34:29):

Yeah.

 

Mel Robbins (00:34:30):

It is so used to reaching for the thing you did as a kid, which was for me, leave my body and go up my head and start to worry. And given the fact that I am in the season of the Mac daddy...

Amy (00:35:00):

Oh Lord.

 

Mel Robbins (00:35:01):

And it becomes dark at three o'clock in the afternoon, and I start to feel like winter is coming and it's Game of Thrones final episode. Oh my God. Bill cue, the seasonal depression, light ads. Oh Lord. And I just no wonder I'm reaching for the uhoh, but I now have tools to not be scared of it and to be able to go, oh, that's that part of me that I call the injured self. So what does Anne say? Is she like, we have to break this habit. No, she's literally, nobody can ever live. Unfortunately, there's a lot of us that live in the injured self all day long.

 

Amy (00:35:45):

Yeah,

 

Mel Robbins (00:35:45):

I did for decades. When you start to become aware and you start to work on your own healing.

 

Amy (00:35:50):

Yeah. The pain body, that's what Ecker totally calls the pain body. You're just constantly in your own pain all day long. You're creating your own misery. Yeah. Campaign of misery. Yeah, campaign of misery. Okay.

 

Mel Robbins (00:36:02):

Yeah, go ahead. And I'm working on living more and more in the other place, which is getting out of my head and not reacting with such intensity to the feelings of my body and forcing myself when those moments happen, to notice the feeling to say something about it, to reach for a hug, to give myself a hug and the reassurance to remind myself that the feeling will pass. And according to research, if you don't resist it or grip it passes typically in about 90 seconds.

 

Amy (00:36:46):

Yeah, thank God.

 

Mel Robbins (00:36:48):

But knowing that there's two parts of me, the old little me that did the best that she could, that is the injured part and the adult me that is seeking a different experience from life. I want to own what I experience. I want to be in charge of it. I want to feel more of those moments of being in the flow and being connected to the divine and being present in the moment and being out of my fricking head and in my work or in my family or in the beauty that is southern Vermont or being, I was in that state as we pulled in and I saw you two up here, and I'm waving from the car sunroof like, oh my God, they're my friends. I'm so excited to see my friends. And then we get out and I'm like, oh my God, with right. It fell apart.

 

Amy (00:37:39):

It just all went downhill

Amy (00:38:04):

Or maybe just a different 14 days, that's going to be great too. But it's like you got to get off that rollercoaster. You can't stay on it the whole

 

Mel Robbins (00:38:11):

Time. And so you want to know, here's what I'm going to leave you with.

 

Amy (00:38:13):

Okay.

 

Mel Robbins (00:38:16):

The injured self is that shaky feeling and calls it the rattle. Oh God. Yeah. That's still there from childhood will probably always be there from childhood going, Hey, remember me? There's still a part of me that's sad. There's still a part of me that's scared. And it's that period of time after you get off the rollercoaster that's divine, where you feel shaky until you find your footing again. And that's all that it is. And so the good news for both of us is that you've been flying for two months, and when you say, I don't feel like myself, what's fucking awesome is you now have an experience of yourself as being a half B golden child. You are on this team. That's how we all see you.

 

Amy (00:39:13):

Sounds like Amy. Yeah. Everybody

 

Mel Robbins (00:39:15):

Fucking favorite.

 

Amy (00:39:17):

No, I appreciate that. Now, literally from front to back on this conversation, now I feel like, oh, I can just appreciate how I feel. Oh, I was just in a bad mood. I feel it. I don't know exactly how to say it. I feel better and I feel like I can handle the bad mood a little bit more. Maybe it's the oil slick that's left, whatever. Or maybe it's just kind of talking it out or hearing how you are dealing with it. I do feel better and I can appreciate the low part of the rollercoaster. And then you just kind of go back up again. But sometimes when you're at that low, you're looking around for, did this thing stop? Am I ever going to go back up again?

 

Mel Robbins (00:40:13):

This is hard. I don't want to be here. The visual that helps me is this, that I don't visualize the low of the roller coaster, if that helps you do it. I visualize getting out of it...

Amy (00:40:50):

Yeah. Wow. So what did you get when you felt that brass corset and you did that exercise with Anne and you let it go? What

 

Mel Robbins (00:41:01):

Happened? Great question. Anne did a second exercise with me. I'll walk you through it next. Okay. So the second exercise that Anne did with me was this. She said, okay, in the past 14 days, I want you to come up with a very specific memory that really is magical. You are present in the moment you felt connected, you were happy. And just describe a moment like that. And so I described this moment where on Friday night of parents' weekend, Kendall's music friends, they're all in the pop music program. They just threw this impromptu thing where kids were doing an open mic night on someone's porch. And so here we are in a random neighborhood in downtown la, so freaking awesome. And there was this awesome kid just banging it out on the kind of keyboard, and he was singing these great songs. And there were, I don't know, 17 kids sitting there and a couple of parents standing around. And all of a sudden Kendall rolls up with her music friends as this awesome kid's playing, and she's got her guitar and the other guy's got a drum thing and another one's got a keyboard and somebody else has another guitar. And they were like the big kids coming in. And

 

(00:42:36):

This is just my vibe, right? It's like as a parent, and you got to understand, she's been in this music program for four years, and because of Covid, I've been able to see her perform live once. That's it. And so she has been in this program for four years working with these Grammy award-winning artists, the greats of the greats, getting all of this training, music industry stuff has just been unbelievable. I've not seen what's going on. So you're about to

 

Amy (00:43:03):

See it go down.

 

Mel Robbins (00:43:05):

And this is just a casual thing in somebody's front porch, right?

 

Amy (00:43:08):

Yeah. Right.

 

Mel Robbins (00:43:09):

Peeling paint on the front porch, bricks falling off and kind of a window up top with duct tape holding it together. And she gets on that porch and first things first, she pulls out a guitar and I'm like, oh my God, she's playing guitar in public. Who is this child? And she starts playing a cover of Ariana Grande. Tell me, we'll play a little bit in this thing.

(00:45:25):

And she said, great. I want you to feel the full moon on you. I want you to hear your daughter's incredible voice. And as she told me to do that, and I realized the song I'm visualizing is, if you want to keep me, you got to love me harder. Which is now I'm realizing a message that if you want to keep yourself in that divine state, you got to love yourself a little harder. And so for you in the last two months,

 

Amy (00:46:16):

Yeah, I was doing that. As you were saying that about Kendall, I lately have wanted to have what they call peak experiences with my kids. Oh, I love that. I think we've talked about this before where I just really want to experience awe, pure awe and joy and just being in the moment with my kids, and I'm saying once a month, that's it. Let's just start there. So I had this really incredible time with my youngest daughter, Jane, this weekend. We were so in the moment, you know what we were doing? What were you doing errands. We were running errands. I love that. And what do we have to do? I told her all the things we had to do, and she wrote 'em all down. And I was like, you're in charge. You're in charge of the time. We have to get home at noon.

 

(00:47:14):

We're leaving at 10. You're in charge. Just tell me what we need to do. I know the thing. I know what to do when we get to the store, but you tell me what to do. How about we play that game? She loves playing games. And we used to do this when she was little, but I don't, it just kind of came up. We went to the paint store, we went to TJ Maxx. Of course, we went to Price Chopper. We went to, where else did we go, like the bookstore and the jewelry store and pick up this and do that. And Mom, you have two minutes and dad's going to be waiting for us. Do you want me to call Dad? We're going to be a little late if you keep talking to this lady, dah, dah, dah. Does she want a job? I know. She was so good.

 

(00:47:50):

And I looked at her after the last stop and I said, I'm having a lot of fun right now. And she was like, I'm too. This is so much fun. We used to do this when she was in nursery school and her two older sisters were out, and she's like, mom, this is just so much fun. And she said, but we're just doing errands. And I was like, you know what? It's allowed. I was like, just Jane, just humor me. Would you call this a peak experience with me? And she was like, you know what, mom? I would, this is really, really great. So it was really great. It was really great that I didn't have to plan it. It just was spontaneous. We found each other, my divine, as you say, found hers, and we just together made this really awesome thing. So when you are going through that thing with Kendall and your memory of her and putting yourself back in that moment, I went to that moment with my, oh,

 

Mel Robbins (00:48:47):

That's beautiful.

 

Amy (00:48:47):

It's my Jane. Yeah,

 

Mel Robbins (00:48:48):

That's beautiful. Because what I also realize in those moments is that we are allowing ourselves to receive.

 

Amy (00:48:58):

Oh yeah.

 

Mel Robbins (00:48:59):

There is that reciprocal nature of your giving love, and you're giving positive energy and you are open and receiving it back.

 

Amy (00:49:08):

And it is pure flow. Yes. It is literally a peak state, a state of flow, because it wasn't hard for Jane to be Jane, and it wasn't hard for me to be me. And it is definitely not hard for Kendall to be Kendall and you to be you, and we're all just feeding each other and feeling fucking awesome and getting errands

 

Mel Robbins (00:49:31):

Done at the same time for me in my

 

Amy (00:49:32):

Case. Totally.

 

Mel Robbins (00:49:33):

So it is this incredible thing. And so what Anne told me to do is to now close your eyes and locate where is that experience in your body now? Really allow yourself to feel it. You leaning over and looking at her and going, now, was that a big experience for you? Yeah. Now go back up to your neck where that viscous crap was, and kind of zero to 10, has it gone down?

 

Amy (00:50:05):

Yeah.

 

Mel Robbins (00:50:06):

Great. Now go back to wherever and where in your body is that?

 

Amy (00:50:11):

Right? In my solar plexus. Right above my belly button. In between my belly button and my ribs.

 

Mel Robbins (00:50:18):

Amazing. And allow yourself, is this a peak experience? Wow. Yeah. Right. Great. Yeah. Now what Anne told me is happening, wait till you hear this, is that you could just do this little exercise of find moments where you're freely receiving and giving love, where you're in deep connection, either with nature, a new puppy, something you're working on where you're just in that flow state and the resistance isn't there. Or some moment for yourself. Maybe you're in Shavasana after a class. Maybe you have just had an incredible moment with your lover. Something where you have allowed this sort of divine peak connection to self or something bigger or another human being to love to come in,

 

(00:51:07):

Find it in your body, and allow yourself to feel it and fire it up. Because what she said to me is that the injured self and all those stored experiences that feel like armor for me or viscous oil for you, those are encoded in your amygdala. And a different part of the brain needs its circuitry fired up that stores these experiences of being in deep connection and in a state of flow. And so when you go back and forth between the two and you access that memory for the rest of my life, I can access that memory of Kendall. You can access that moment of Jane, you can then close your eyes, feel it in your body, and fire up a different part of your brain,

 

(00:52:01):

Which allows you to start to create the circuitry and the muscle mentally tied to the positive emotion. So there's a couple things that I just want to make sure that everybody's tracking with us, because this started as what we're probably going to start to call an on the fly episode. And I knew that this was going to be an incredible conversation because Amy is often not in a down mood. Not at all.

 

(00:52:31):

And I have just come from a therapy call where I had this life-changing revelation, and I've probably heard these things over and over. Anne's probably said them to me on every therapy call for two years. But for some reason today, it really clicked this idea that there's the divine you and the injured self from childhood. And that the more that, and most of us live in that injured self, and that's why we say we're stuck and we're on autopilot and we're sad, and again, full of excuses and we're keeping the same pattern. Groundhog dig. Yeah. And that there's something else available that you can change. You can rewire your brain, and when you start to notice yourself checking out or feeling said not feeling like yourself, that can be a good sign because it means you've actually experienced something else than the sadness or the anxiety or those other things.

 

Amy (00:53:29):

And I feel that now, and I feel the appreciation for that sadness coming up because it's in me. It's a part of me, and it's like, that's okay to come up and I feel an appreciation for how I normally am. I've grown to really love that person and really want to be there more often than not. But it doesn't mean that I can't be sad every once in a while. Of course, that's cool too. Yeah. Yeah. I got a lot out of this conversation. Oh, I do too. I feel a lot better now. I do feel a lot better. I have a headache, which means that's a good sign for me.

 

Mel Robbins (00:54:08):

Usually. I kind of do too. I've noticed. I feel almost like I feel after taking a standardized test, you know where you have that brain?

 

Amy (00:54:20):

Yeah. Kind of feel like I need a diet Coke. Right. I'm with you. I'll have an athletic brew and we'll call it a sponsored episode,

 

Mel Robbins (00:54:28):

Red Heart. Okay. Speaking. Okay. If that's not divine. Oh Lord. Oh my God. Oh my God. Kendall, I'm sitting here with Amy and I was just telling this story about you being on the porch singing that song and how it felt like I was experiencing the divine.

 

Amy (00:54:49):

It sounds awesome, Kendall. It just sounds like such a wonderful time. And your mom played us a video and we got the chills.

 

Kendall Robbins (00:54:58):

Aw, thank you so much for saying something.

 

Amy (00:55:01):

Oh my gosh. Thank you.

 

Kendall Robbins (00:55:05):

Mom. I'm calling you because I'm at the boot store.

 

Mel Robbins (00:55:09):

Oh, okay

 

Kendall Robbins (00:55:10):

I sent you a photo of a pair of boots that I really like. I wanted you to look at them.

 

Mel Robbins (00:55:14):

Okay. Give me five minutes and I'll call you back.

 

Kendall Robbins (00:55:18):

Okay, great. I sent you a photo of them and the price too, but I just wanted to see what you thought first.

 

Mel Robbins (00:55:26):

Okay. You can have the boots. You gave me a religious experience on the porch the other day.

 

Kendall Robbins (00:55:32):

You didn't tell me it was religious the day after. You now just realizing it was

 

Mel Robbins (00:55:36):

Yeah. Yeah. Basically you have become that image of you. You know how...

Kendall Robbins (00:55:50):

Buck beak.

 

Mel Robbins (00:55:52):

She say it again. Tell everybody what it is.

 

Kendall Robbins (00:55:56):

Buck beak. It's the magical creature from Harry Potter that haggard tames, and then they pretend to kill, but they don't actually kill.

 

Mel Robbins (00:56:04):

And now whenever she tells me to channel the divine and like a flow state, Kendall and the infinite,

 

Kendall Robbins (00:56:11):

So I'm now the new buck beak.

 

Mel Robbins (00:56:13):

No buck beak is for protection. You can't protect me. That's not going to happen.

 

Kendall Robbins (00:56:17):

I was going to say that's a little,

 

Amy (00:56:18):

Yeah. I mean, you're good at guitar and singing.

 

Mel Robbins (00:56:20):

Yeah, you can sing, but

 

Amy (00:56:22):

Not, let's be honest,

 

Kendall Robbins (00:56:23):

I'm no bugsy,

 

Mel Robbins (00:56:24):

But I am going to experience that. I'm going to come back to that moment all the time. That moment of standing there in that front yard under a full moon watching people stop their cars and your friends gather and phones go up and you channeling something divine in you, you sharing your gift with the world.

 

Kendall Robbins (00:56:50):

I appreciate that.

 

Mel Robbins (00:56:52):

Alright, I'm going to hang up. I want to finish this podcast that we're taping.

 

Kendall Robbins (00:56:56):

I love you guys. Thanks for calling and saying that love.

 

Mel Robbins (00:56:58):

I love you.

 

Kendall Robbins (00:56:59):

Okay. I love you too.

 

Mel Robbins (00:57:00):

Bye. Bye. Bye. Okay. And now we go from the divine to cowboy boots. Can you buy me cowboy boots?

 

Amy (00:57:06):

Right? Right back into real life.

 

Mel Robbins (00:57:08):

See, that's getting off the roller coaster.

 

Amy (00:57:10):

Yeah. Right. Feeling a little shaky. I got a headache. I need a diet Coke and a cotton candy. Oh, they're really cute. The boots. Yeah.

 

Mel Robbins (00:57:21):

They look like they have a phoenix on them. Come on, look at this. I have a closeup of the design of the fucking boots. It is buck beak.

 

Amy (00:57:33):

Oh my God.

 

Mel Robbins (00:57:36):

What in the hell is happening? I'm going to tell you what's happening. Everybody. What's happening, if you look at him flying from above, that is the shape of him flying. It looks like a dragon. Honest to God, this is freaking gosh, the timing of that. So here's why this is important. Everybody. You deserve to access that space of the divine. You deserve to tap into a flow state. You deserve to shift the energy toward getting in the flow, and it starts with noticing where you're gripping and holding on.

(00:59:01):

In the sky eighties. You know what I call these? Everybody signs? Amen. These and paying attention to the signs and coincidences and magical things that happen in life and calling them out. That is how you also strengthen the circuitry in your brain that is wired for flow and connection and all this incredible magic in your life, period. For those of you that have read the High Five Habit, you know that the exercise about looking for hearts that occur naturally in the world like a heart shaped cloud or our new puppy has a heart shaped freckle on his nose or heart shaped stone or a heart shape like stain on the ground or a heart shape in your coffee,

 

Amy (00:59:51):

A heart shaped pea stain from the little

 

Mel Robbins (00:59:52):

Puppy. Yes, exactly. If you just play a game with yourself, this is one way you can start to tap into this state. Start to train your brain for something other than fricking complaining

 

Amy (01:00:04):

Miserable

 

Mel Robbins (01:00:05):

Other than right? Look for a heart shape today, and when you see it, I want you to do something that's going to sound cheeseball, but this is brain stuff. You ready? I want you to look at and be like, by God, Mel Robbins, put that there for me to find. I want you to allow yourself to let a little magic in. If you can pick it up, pick it up, and put it in your pocket. Take it home. Put it on your shelf in front of you, right? Take a picture, start calling out the signs of things going right. Start noticing when you're gripping, when you're holding on, when you don't feel like yourself. Both Amy and I did not feel like ourselves today

Amy (01:01:05):

I love you too, Mel. I'm glad you're home. It feels more like home when you're here.

 

Mel Robbins (01:01:10):

Thank you. That's great. Thank you. Okay, everybody, so you want to see those boots? Go look in the show notes.

 

Amy (01:01:18):

I come out,

 

Mel Robbins (01:01:20):

I'll put some photos of some hearts there too that people find, and Amy and I just want to say, look, we love you. We believe in you.

 

Amy (01:01:30):

You deserve to feel in the flow, peak stake. Anybody that wants to come do errands with me on a Saturday, I will show you how to be in a peak state when I'm in my zone. I love it when people are in their zone. We're all better off when you're in the flow and you're doing your thing. So I'm glad that we're doing this and we're helping people get there and

 

Mel Robbins (01:01:53):

Feel it. We're going to send you out with the best reminder, which is you got to love yourself a little harder. Yeah. Kendall Robbins, covering Ariana Grande. Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, bye. God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family. I love you. We create these videos for you, so make sure you subscribe.