How to Achieve Any Goal You Have in 6 Simple Steps

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Okay? Everybody who launches a real estate business, same three things. Everybody that tries to get into nursing school, same three things. Everybody that launches a YouTube channel, same three things. Everybody that becomes an influencer or loses same things, everyone. There's no mystery here. There's just a formula. So here's what they told me to do. They said, Mel, build a simple website with photos of you on a stage plus a description of your keynote and the main takeaways. Second, they said, Mel, get testimonials from a few event planners at past events that you've spoken at. Put 'em on the website easy. And then they said the third and most important part of the formula, if you want to be paid to give a speech mail, you better start posting about speaking online. You have to turn your social media into your marketing, post photos from events, post content related to your speech, post photos with the event planners that hire you.

 

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Social media is how people find you. Social media demonstrates that you're a player in this industry. And social media is what will lead people to that one page website where you have testimonials from event planners so they can book you. That's the formula, follow it, and you'll start getting paid as a motivational speaker. So armed with that advice, this was 10 years ago, I knew exactly what I needed to do, plus the stakes were really high. I needed the money to get my family out of debt. So I was very clear about what I needed to do. Now, here's what's interesting about goals. I knew what I wanted. I was highly motivated, and I even knew what I needed to do. I had the formula. Did I follow the formula? Not really.

 

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And if you're honest with yourself, I bet you're kind of where I am right there. You kind of know what you need to do to lose the weight or to put yourself out there or to convert the bedroom that's been empty for a number of years into an office or a craft studio. You're just not doing it. I hear you. We're going to get to those other three steps in a minute. Yes, I created a website. Yes, I asked for testimonials and I put them on the website. But did I post on social media? Nope.

 

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You sitting there going, guilty, Mel, I really want to market my business, but I just don't do it online. I really want to make money, but I'm not taking that course. That teaches me how. See, at the time, my social media was personal. It was filled with photos of my kids, pictures from family trips and selfies with friends. All of my followers were my friends, my former classmates and family members. I'd never posted anything about my desire to become a motivational speaker or the fact that I'd been doing speeches for free for over a year. And if you've ever wanted to use social media to launch a business or promote some new aspect of your life or share your art, you know what I'm talking about? You know how hard it is to look at that account that only has photos of your personal life and then make a decision that you're going to turn this into a marketing channel.

 

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Now, I'm reading on page 83 of the Let Them Theory book right now. It took me two years to start posting about my business on social media. Why? Because I was afraid of what people would think. And if you're sitting there going, who are you afraid of? Mel? Simple. I was afraid of my friends. I was worried that if I stopped posting photos of my kids and pictures from barbecues and get togethers with extended family, and I started posting photos of me speaking at conferences, that people would judge me. Who does she think she is? I mean, who the heck is hiring her to speak? What does she possibly have to say? I mean, do you know what a train wreck her life is? Do you know that her husband's restaurants are club? What a phony. Now look, I tried to post, but I would thumb through my photos from the event and select one or two, and then what would happen?

 

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The fear would kick in, and as I would draft the caption, I'd start to feel worried about people's opinions and I'd start to talk to myself, do you ever do this as you're about to post something? Does this sound too arrogant? How's this photo? Is this caption professional enough? If I post this, are people going to unfollow me? Are my friends going to think I'm full of myself? Should I just start a separate account from scratch? I mean, I went around and around and around and around. I had the formula. I would then convince myself, oh, it's not worth it to post. And you want to know why? Because I had burned through so much energy trying to craft the perfect, most compelling marketable image and caption something that would promote me. But it would also ensure that nobody would have a negative thought or unfollow me or think that I'm being too self-centered, that I was literally exhausting myself.

 

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And if you have a goal of actually trying to lose weight, you probably do this before you go to the gym. And then you have no motivation to go to the gym. If your goal is to get out of debt, I bet you work yourself up as you look at the pile of bills and you think about the budget you need to create, and you get so worked up in your mind with all of the stress and drama that, oh, I'll just do it tomorrow. You have the formula, you're not following it. I literally created hundreds of draft posts and they just sat there in my drafts for two years. And what would happen when I did get the jolt of confidence to post? Oh my gosh. I would put it up and then I'd be like, and then I would check it obsessively. And if in five minutes it didn't have enough hearts or enough comments or I felt like uhoh, I would just delete it.

 

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And I really want you to embrace this because if you know the formula that you could be following, you are the one holding yourself back just like I did. This stupid fear kept me from marketing my business, and this is something I wanted to make my full-time career. I was giving other people's opinions more weight and importance than my own ability to get out of debt, to achieve a goal, to get ahead in my life. I mean, talk about giving your power away. 

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What is it that you want? Because there is no doubt in my mind, you follow these six steps you will achieve. It may not happen this year, but you will achieve it if you follow these six steps, whether your goal is to launch a successful business or sell your art or publish your music or go on tour or have your videos get a million views or just post a photo of yourself in a bathing suit because it means you accept yourself as you are. If you're censoring yourself in any way, it's because you're afraid of other people's opinions. Me too. I mean, that's why we do it. And that's why the tool for following the formula is my Let Them theory. You have to say, let them think, say and feel however they're going to feel, because my life is my responsibility and I got to focus on what I can control.

 

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And I got to say the second part of the Let Them theory, which is let me do the things that I need to do to achieve that goal. Let me put myself out there. Let me act in a way that makes me feel proud of myself. Because when you start to feel proud of yourself, you're not going to care what anybody thinks because you know the facts, you know the truth, you know who you are. And most advice on this topic, I'm just going to come right out and say it. It sucks. It sucks because most people are going to tell you just stop caring about what other people think, but nobody tells you how. I'm telling you how I'm telling you. Give people the freedom to think whatever they want. Let them, let them judge. Let them have negative thoughts. Let them unfollow you. Let them do and feel and think whatever they want to do, because you have goals. And if you want to achieve your goals, you have to let other people have their opinions about it because you got to take your time and energy back and stop managing that and worrying about it and holding yourself back.

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So what is doing the reps? So this comes from my buddy bestselling author, Jeff Walker. Look him up. Fantastic guy, phenomenal business coach. And Jeff said in a meeting that I was in once, he said, I've been asked over the years what is the secret to success? And he said, it's doing the reps. And the reps are the boring, tedious, annoying actions that you take every day just like going to the gym. You want a bigger bicep, you got to do, the reps is doing reps fun. Nope. Is walking into the gym with your headphones on and picking up a 45 pound weight. That's not what I pick up. I pick out like the three to five to eight pounder depending upon the exercise. But is that exciting? No, it's tedious. And that's how you achieve a goal. There are no big leaps. They're small gains.

 

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That's it. And I'm going to come back to this over and over and over again and I'm going to keep saying the reps are boring because I want you to expect it to be boring. What separates people who achieve their goals from people who do not is simple. People who achieve their goals, understand the power of showing up every day and just doing the boring, tedious stuff. That's where greatness is made. It's in the things that aren't fun. It's in the stuff that nobody wants to do. Because let's face it, if it were easy and fun and thrilling to get yourself out of financial debt, everybody would do it. Everybody would have a million dollars in the bank if it were easy and fun and thrilling to have six pack abs, everybody would have them. No, that's the thing most people don't talk about. Goals are boring.

 

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Goals are tedious. Goals are super annoying. You know how awful it is to write a book? Truly awful. You literally have to sit your butt in a chair. And especially on the days where you got nothing to say and you feel stupid and you think your book idea is dumb, you got to sit there and write. Does that sound fun to you? No. That's why most of us don't do it. You know how hard it is to lose a hundred pounds or to lower your cholesterol? That's no joke. That is a very important goal. Like you being healthy and vibrant and having a long and amazing life and your health is a huge part of that, that is a enormously worthy and important goal. But step four, don't you dare gaslight yourself into thinking it's going to be fun. There is nothing easy or exciting about achieving a goal. It's a giant pain in the ass, honestly. And that's why I'm saying step four is the reps. It is you showing up on the days that you don't feel like it. And I want to come back to step two. Remember where I said write it down?

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And now you're going to write down this statement of intention. I will what? And then insert whatever the rep is I will exercise at. And then you do the time and then you do the place. That's it. And for me, writing the book, I will write for 30 minutes at 9:00 AM in my office. I will do a Pilates mat class at 7:00 AM in my bedroom. I will drink a mason jar of water at 6:00 AM standing in front of the coffee maker. So writing down this statement, I will do the rep at a certain time in a certain place. God, it sounds so dreadful, doesn't it? Whoa. No wonder you and I have not achieved our goals. We've been thinking it was supposed to be fun and sexy. We went out and bought all the new sneakers and kind of got all excited about this thing and got a new planner and bought the books. Wait, we have to write a boring sentence about our intention. Mel, I have to make a plan for my reps. Well, you might want to because research shows that when you make a plan, 91% of people do the plan. I'm going to say that again. I'm going to get my research out so I get this right, because this is no joke.

 

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They did this study with people that wanted to exercise as a goal. So you've written down you know what you want, you've written it down, and they've asked people. Group one had to track if they exercised. So that group is just tracking exercise in their brain. The second group read a little motivational thing about why exercising matters like it's important for your body. So now you know why, and now you're going to track whether or not you do it. The third group had to write down a plan, meaning I will exercise at 10 o'clock in the morning in my neighborhood by walking around the block. 91% of the people that wrote down the plan, I will do the rep at a certain time at a certain place did it. That's double the amount of people that completed the goal than the people who just thought about it or knew why they should do it.

 

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So writing down a plan matters because it helps you do the rep. Because I am going to tell you right now, you're not going to want to. You're not going to want to exercise. You're not going to want to drink your water. You're not going to want to have the mocktail instead of the alcohol. You're not going to want to make a budget. You're not going to want to clean out your closet. You're not going to want to eat the kale instead of the macaroni and cheese. I don't either. I don't either. You're not going to want to spend time filming videos of yourself and seeing yourself on camera, and then you're not going to want to post it online. That's coming. That's step four, and we got to see what you're made of. Are you willing to do the boring, tedious stuff? See, I don't think there's anything special about people that achieve the things that you want. They're just willing to do what you won't do. They get up on the days they don't feel like it, and they literally go do the thing no matter what they feel like. And so first things first, write down the plan. I'm going to do the rep at a certain time and in a certain place and stick it in front of your face because based on the research, it's going to make you more likely to do it.

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I still can't do a pull up. I'm working on trying to do a pull up. You know what stage I'm in for two weeks? I have been working on hanging, hanging. I can't even pop my shoulders a quarter inch. I'm working on hanging. This is awful. But this brings me to the five second rule. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, count, backwards move. It's a little brain hack tested by research and proven to work for millions of people around the world that will help you push through that feeling of not doing it. And I'm going to give you one more. This comes from Dr. K, who is a fantastic psychiatrist that has appeared on this podcast a number of times. I'll link to his episode so you can listen to him explain this. But the basic neuroscience around motivation is we are hardwired to move away from things that feel painful, which is a problem when it comes to step four for achieving your goals because doing the reps every day is very painful.

 

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It's tedious, it's boring, it's annoying. You're not going to see results. It's going to feel pointless. That doesn't feel like fun. So when you're presented with two options, should I sit on the couch and shove these chips in my mouth or should I drag myself out the door and go for a run? You're naturally hardwired to resist the thing that feels hard, which means what? You're going to resist the reps. This is why you don't do the formula. Do you see how all this is building, right? This is where so many of you get stuck. It's where I got stuck. I know what I want. I know why I want it. I know how to measure. If I'm doing it, I even know the formula, but I'm not doing it. Well, let's break that and here's Dr. K's research. When it's time to do that boring thing that you don't want to do because it's 10 o'clock in the morning and now you're sitting in your kitchen and you said that you were going to pay your bills at this time, you're just going to say, this is going to sound so dumb, but it works.

 

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I know I don't want to do this, but I'm doing it anyway. I know it's going to be hard to go hang from the pull-up bar, Mel for 60 seconds, but you're going to go do it anyway. And when you acknowledge that you don't want to do it and you acknowledge that it's going to suck and you acknowledge that it's going to be hard, something interesting happens. Your resistance to it lowers. See, your brain wiring is trying to move you away from the thing that's hard, and that's why you're losing the battle of willpower. You don't need willpower. You can use these little hacks, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go. You can also say, I know it's going to be difficult. I've expected this. The fact that it's tedious and boring and annoying means it's working and I'm going to go do it. And then you're going to see the resistance disappears.

 

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That's step number four. Do the reps over and over and over again. That's the game you want to achieve. Goals. Do the reps, all those people you admire that have what you want, you know what they're doing. They're doing the reps. And if you've ever looked at somebody who becomes an overnight sensation, I want you to look at their actual story because they were doing the reps in the dark for a decade while nobody was paying attention. It's all those mornings where you get up and you don't feel like it, that help you achieve your goals. That's how you do it. There is no other way. And so if you can't get past step four, you might as well cross that goal off your list because this is how it's done and there is no shortcut here, period. No shortcut at all. You do not get to pass any of these steps.

 

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And that brings me to step number five, and this is an important one. I know I'm like only because I want you to achieve your goals. I don't want to just fluff you up and send you out there and then set you up to fail. I want you to understand that you're in for it and you're capable of doing this, and maybe nobody's told you that, that you can do this, but you got to accept this is going to suck for a while and I'm willing to do the things that are difficult. I really want my life to be easy and amazing in the long run. And that's what happens. Do the hard things. Now, things are easier later when you constantly opt for what's easy now your life gets harder and harder and harder. That brings me to step number five, and I love this. Once you start doing the reps and you're like, all right, this is going to blow, but I'm going to do it anyway. This is tedious and I'm not seeing results and I'm still hanging here and I can't even do the shoulder crunch. God forbid a pull-up doesn't even seem like it's ever going to be in my future, but I'm just going to keep doing the reps.

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Because I've accepted the reality and the truth that it's going to be kind of tedious and boring for a long time and I'm not going to see results for a long time, and I just got to keep my head down and I got to keep focusing on the reps. And even on the days where I don't do it, I got to get back to the reps the next day, which is why I love this tip from my buddy Jeff Walker. I say, just do the reps all the time. My team will tell you that. My kids will tell you that I know mom got to do the reps. We even have in our family group chat, occasionally one of the kids will say something like, yep, just putting in the reps today on something that they're working on, which is code for doing the hard work.

 

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And it's kind of cool. But at some point, and I'd say about a week into consistently doing this, now you get to step above this and say, how can I make this fun and easy? And there's three different categories that I want you to think about. Number one is I love visual reminders. So how can you take any of the decision making or any of the effort out by having visual reminders? So for example, I love setting alarms in my phone that go off and say, reminder, you got to go for your walk in 10 minutes. We're having a post-it note where I work that reminds me of the thing that I said that I was going to do because now I don't have to remember it. Here's another way that I do this. I lay out my exercise clothes first thing in the morning.

 

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Why? Well, because when I step into my closet, they're laying there like a giant middle finger telling me that it's time to get dressed and go to the gym, which I don't want to do. I don't have to think about it. I don't have to wrestle with a decision. I don't have to overcome my feelings in the closet. I've made it easier because it's right there. Here's another way I've made exercise easier for me because it's a goal of mine to move my body every day. And this is going to sound like the dumbest thing, but I'm telling you, this has changed my life. I figure out the exercise workouts I'm going to watch because I like to have an exercise class on Sunday nights, so I know what I'm going to watch on Monday. I know what class I'm going to take on Tuesday.

 

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I know what class I'm going to take on Wednesday because have you ever gone to the gym and you're like, what am I supposed to do here? I guess I'll just walk on the treadmill for a little bit. Maybe I'll do the arm thing. Maybe I was going to do the leg rotation, but there's some guys talking over there by the quad machine, so I guess I'll just go get a latte. That's kind of how it used to work for me. And so I've made it fun and easy by planning ahead and removing decisions. Here's another way that I make things fun and easy. Instead of having to remember to drink water, I fill up the water the night before and it's sitting in front of the coffee maker so that when I roll out of bed in the morning, I army crawl to the coffee maker.

 

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And if this mason jar we're not sitting in front of the coffee maker, I would start making coffee. But because the mason jar is out there, I've made it easy to do the thing. What are some other ways you can make it fun? You can make playlists, you can get somebody to do it with you. You can join an online community. You can take a class. There are so many ways, and this is a fun way for you to go, okay, how can I set myself up for success to make this easier? And one of the things that I love about a particular habit researcher, I'm sure you know him. His name is James Clear, he wrote Atomic Habits. It's the book that since the sizes, everybody's research on habits. And one of the things that I love about his philosophy is that you will rise or fall to the level of your systems.

 

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And if you are having trouble staying with the reps, you either have an issue where you don't realize it's boring and hard and tedious, and you're not going to see results. And that's the game. So you can resolve it by saying, this is going to be hard. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. I'm doing it anyway. The fact that it's hard means it's working. I'm going. And the second thing that you can do, and this comes from James Clear, is how can I set up my environment? Or what systems can I create to make this something that's easier or more obvious to do? And so again, I've covered a bunch. You can put up visual reminders. You can plan the night before, so things are laid out. If you want to write, have your there or your laptop right by where the coffee maker is, and plan to write first thing in the morning. You can ask a friend to do it with you. You can sign up for a class or an online community that helps you stay accountable. These are all things that make it easier. And why wouldn't you make it easier on yourself, right? Because achieving your goals is hard and tedious and boring. But you can do it. 

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Oh my gosh. When I first sat down to write this and was like, wait a minute, why is this simple idea, let them so hard to write a book about When I was on version number two, version number three, version number five, version number seven, version number nine, version number 11 of the manuscript. I wanted to stop when the publisher came back and was like, oh, well I think this. I'm like, oh my God, I don't have the, I wanted to stop then and over and over and over again. You're also going to want to stop. And if I had quit at any of those moments, I wouldn't be holding this book and you wouldn't be able to walk into a bookstore and grab it and read it and feel it and learn from it and understand why the Let Them Theory is something that literally creates instant freedom and power in your life.

 

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And there were so many times where I was sitting here above my garage in Southern Vermont just piles and piles and piles of manuscripts and papers around me thinking I'm never going to get this done. And that's why you have to remind yourself, just don't quit. See, I've come to believe that the secret to success is just not giving up. That life is constantly testing you. That there are going to be days where you don't do the reps. There are going to be weeks where you don't do the reps. There might even be months that you don't do the reps. That's okay. Because what defines your success is not the days where you do it. I actually think it's the days where you come back after you didn't do it. So the day that was really hard at work or the week that you were really sick and you couldn't do the reps every day, the small tedious stuff, you couldn't get out for your walk, you couldn't sit down and write.

 

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You started drinking again. Whatever it is, it's the day that you return that defines success because it means you didn't quit. It means that even though things got hard or life derailed you, or you just stopped following this system and you let life take over, you're human. I said, okay, it's going to happen. Happens to me too. Absolutely happens to me too. You can always come back to this formula. If it is day 37, you have not eaten the way you said you would have spent a ridiculous amount of money, even though your goal is to get out of debt. You just didn't do what you said you were going to do. You didn't write, you didn't make a video, you didn't work on the budget. You didn't meditate 37 days. How about seven months have gone by and you see that little note where you wrote down your goal? It's okay. It's still there.

 

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You going and doing the rep defines your success and that's always in your power. And the reason why I say don't quit is because if you look at anybody's story, it's almost always one of perseverance. Whether you want to talk about Michael Jordan, who got cut from his high school team or anybody, honestly, everybody who is successful has a story of rejection and almost quitting. And the one thing they didn't do is they didn't quit. And if you're on the verge of quitting, I've got a question here from Pilar. Mel, I've been pouring my heart into starting my online bakery, but nothing's going the way I hoped. Orders are slow. I'm exhausted. I feel like maybe I'm not cut out for this. I'm at such a low point. I just want to give up. How do I keep going when it feels like everything is falling apart?

 

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I so relate to this question. And what's so amazing about these six steps to achieving your goals is you just go back to step one. So if you're at a point where you're questioning whether or not something is working, the answer is actually in the formula I just gave you, which is go back and ask yourself the question, decide what I want. What do I really want? Do I want this to be successful, or do I want to cut my losses and learn from this and move on? You have to answer that question because you have to define a new goal. And that's what I love about these six steps. It's for any goal and the goal might be closing down this business and moving on. And the goal might be, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not giving up. Okay, great. So if you're not giving up, write it down.

 

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How are you going to know that you're successful? And then find the formula because I'm going to tell you something. Do you think there's a bakery somewhere that was on the verge of closing and then figured something out and all of a sudden had a breakthrough? Of course there is. In fact, I'd be willing to bet there's probably about 2000 of them and they've put their story online and there was a moment where they thought their bakery business was going under and then they figured out something unbelievable and it changed everything. And if it's a formula, it's out there because it works and you can find it. And then what do you do? You just do the reps. And then what do you do? You just make it easy however you can. And then what do you do? You don't quit and you just keep coming back over and over and over and over again.

 

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See, you should define what you want and you need to define how you're going to know that you've achieved it, but you have to throw the timeline out the window. You have to because you only have in your control what you're willing to show up and do every day. Your attitude, your feelings, the actions, the reps, you not quitting, that's all within your control. How long it takes to achieve this thing. I actually think that's up to forces that are way beyond you and me. But all you need to do is to keep trusting that if you keep showing up, if you keep doing the reps, if you keep this front and center that one of these days, you're going to wake up and realize you not only achieved your goal, it turned out so much more extraordinary than you could have even dreamt it would be.

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I'm not special or different or gifted or lucky. I just found the tools that work for me and I use them. And today, my entire career and life's purpose is sharing those tools with you and the six steps that I just walked you through. This is my formula for success. This is how I achieve absolutely every single goal, whether it's personal, whether it's something with a relationship, whether it is creating new friendships, whether it's making more money, whether it's launching a new business, anything. This is my formula and I want you to steal it. The five second rule is going to help you push through all of these internal obstacles and take action. When you don't feel motivated to do so, you're never going to feel ready to change your life. One day you just get tired of your own BS and you force yourself to do it.

 

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You're never going to feel like going to the gym one day. You just make yourself go, and you're never going to feel like having that hard conversation one day. You just get sick of avoiding it, and you force yourself to have it, and you're never going to feel like looking for a better job one day. You just push yourself to start looking. Every single change that you want to make in your life comes down to defining it as a goal and using the six steps that I just laid out to help you achieve it. And I'm telling you this, and I'm so excited for you because you have no idea what you're capable of, and neither did I, but I promise you this, you follow these six steps over and over and over again, and through these simple actions, you will achieve some extraordinary things in your life.

 

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And I can say that because I just gave you the formula for doing it. You define what you want, you write it down, you find the formula, you do the reps. You find simple ways to try to make it more fun and easy, and you just don't quit until you achieve it. You do that over and over and over again, and you will be astonished by the things that you accomplish in your life. Alrighty, I'll be waiting for you in the very next episode as soon as you hit play. And for you, thank you, thank you, thank you for watching all the way to the end. Thank you for sharing this with people that you care about. And you're going to want to save this video because this is the formula this works. You're going to want to come back to it over and over and over again, and I can't wait to hear what you achieve using it.

 

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And one more thing, it is a goal of mine to have 50% of the people who watch this YouTube channel be subscribers. And I'm like 7% away from achieving that goal. So if you could just hit subscribe, it would mean the world to me. It's free. It means you'll never miss a video. And it also means that you're telling us that you really appreciate the content that we're putting out and the world-class experts that we bring you for free every day. Alrighty. I know you're hot on goals and you got some big audacious goals, and so you're probably thinking, Mel, Mel, Mel, what can I watch next? Well, I'll tell you, I would head straight to this video and I'll be waiting for you in it. As soon as you hit play. I'll see you there.