4 Steps to Unlock Your Creativity & Feel More Inspired Every Day

Phil Cook (01:01):

Your creativity hones your intuition, so you start to listen to your inner voice more. Most people, I think, want to know what that inner voice is when they feel lost. Guide me. When we tap into our intuition, what we really tapping into is a chance to know ourselves in a deeper way.

Mel Robbins (01:19):

If some part of you knows there's more to life, there's more to you. There's more than what you're currently experiencing. Well, this conversation today is for you. Phil and I are going to help you tap back into it.

Phil Cook (01:42):

Thanks, Mel.

Mel Robbins (01:43):

I already feel more creative and alive.

Phil Cook (01:45):

Hey, I feel very seen. Thank you.

Mel Robbins (01:48):

You do?

Phil Cook (01:48):

Yeah. Yeah.

Mel Robbins (01:49):

Phil, I really wanted to talk to you about creativity because you are living it. You have a very creative life. Something about you and the way that you move through life awakens something in me. And I wanted to introduce you to the person who is here with us right now. They may be watching on YouTube. You might be taking a walk or you're driving a car, and Phil and I are now sitting with you and Phil, I'd love to have you tell the person who's with us right now, what could they experience in their life that might be different about how life feels if they really take to heart everything that you're about to share with us today about creativity, about the lessons that you've learned by living a creative life, what could be different.

Phil Cook (02:43):

Life is hard and painful and beautiful, and we are all living in these human bodies born into this world, who knows how much time we have. So much is happening around us every single day. So much distraction, so much noise. Life gets, it's like fast forwarding right, and sometimes I feel like it's like our senses are this one big inhale of all this information year after year, and creativity allows us to exhale, works hand in hand with intuition. Intuition is tied to our soul, our soul and our intuition and our creativity all working together at the same time. The thing I want to talk about today really is your intuition is a voice that's inside of you that you can come to know this voice inside of you and come to help you make decisions in your life, like tuning a guitar string to exactly the right pitch of you and your intuition in your creativity. Feed each other. Your intuition will inform your creativity and your creativity hones your intuition. So you start to listen to your inner voice more. Most people, I think want to know what that inner voice is when they feel lost. Guide me, help guide me. So when we tap into our intuition, what we are really tapping into is a chance to know ourselves in a deeper way.

Mel Robbins (04:22):

I love what you said about the exhale,

Phil Cook (04:25):

Exhale,

Mel Robbins (04:25):

That creativity is a way to exhale. And you are somebody who's made a living, being creative as a musician, as a producer, as a writer, as all the things that you do. But there's a very big difference between having a career that's creative and introducing creativity into your life. And you do both. It's not just a job.

Phil Cook (05:32):

Right. Well, let's go through the narratives. You watch somebody play a Beethoven piece and you're just like, well, that'll never be me. Or like, oh, I tried once in elementary school and somebody said an offhanded remark to you and like, oh, I guess that's not for me. Oh, I shouldn't sing. Oh, I shouldn't sing. People get these microtraumas from childhood that they're like, this is my story. It's never for me, for me ever again. We need to break those narratives because here's the fact on your way to work this morning, a certain song came on and you cranked that song. That's your song that you cranked. Maybe on your lunch break, you got a certain sandwich that just sent your taste buds a fire, and you knew it because it's your favorite sandwich in the whole world. Maybe your bathroom, you painted a certain color because you love that color. Yellow. You have information coming into you from your senses, preferences, things that call to you that you actually do love. And there's moments that guide all of us towards what the language of us can be. You can speak the language of you. You just have to pay attention to what it is that you notice about life coming in. What do you notice? What are the patterns that you kind of constantly see? There's a key in there to what you have inside of you to exhale and creativity. I simply want for you to make it through your life with a companion. It really is a companion.

Mel Robbins (07:09):

What is a companion?

Phil Cook (07:12):

Your intuition and your creativity become something that can be like a light in the dark for you in the cathedral that we each contain within ourselves. We get to explore this and this is the way to actually explore it and come to know what it is that makes up what is always been about you and what will always be about you and what there still is to discover. And all of us need a friend in times when it's like the loneliest times of life. And my hope for you, the listener, is that I can just encourage you to be worthy of taking on this deeper meaning and existence in your life that could even heal the wounds that you have in the process.

Mel Robbins (07:58):

Well, what I'm getting from listening to you is that it's literally like the aliveness of life that flows into you and that can flow out of you. And that brings me to these four principles of creativity that we're going to talk about. The first one that you have is shed the weight of expectations. Now, what does that mean to you, Phil?

Phil Cook (08:20):

Shedding the weight is all about worthiness. People have access problems and stories about themselves that are incomplete and limiting. And my hunch is that most people don't realize how they're already being creative in their life so many small ways. But to begin to see and hear and understand the language of you gives you these clues that you have something to say, you can exhale this life, this experience.

Mel Robbins (08:58):

You said that there are small ways that you're already being creative and you don't even realize it. Can you give me examples of that?

Phil Cook (09:03):

I'll give you an example. Okay. So a good example would be for me, if you, it's Friday night. It's pizza night. Kids come home from school, you throw the pizza in the oven, you add certain things onto it because your oldest kid likes on half and the younger kid likes on half,

(09:24):

But you like the way that you found a different way into it. So even just making a pizza that wasn't there before, you've learned how to make this thing okay. And then you feed it to your kids. It was not there before. Now it's here. Your kids hunger was not there before it's here, and then it was satiated. You move on with your day. Maybe there's something that your grandma made for you when you were a kid and that calls to you and you decide you're going to make that for your kids. That is the essential, quintessential version of creativity for me, is to take something from your existence and your past in your present. You roll it all into a ball and then you just find a way to put it together in a way that makes sense for you. That can be as simple as that,

Mel Robbins (10:11):

As simple as making a pizza

Phil Cook (10:12):

And making a BLT, just the way that the lettuce is cut the way these things happen, or the way that, maybe it's the way you tie a fishing line just like your grandpa taught you, but you found a way to do it a little bit better so it doesn't break quite as many times. You'll know it when you find it because here's the thing, it calls to you, something is calling to you across space and time. I don't know what it is, but something is calling to you and your creativity is in the middle of that. Something is calling to you and you see it through your day. You see it through your years. And maybe it's some certain, it could be like a wood carving, it could be something you're like, oh, I always wanted to work with wood. Oh my gosh, I would love to do pottery someday. Oh my gosh. But you've really, it's like, but not surfing, not this. It's like you definitely know, oh, I really want to take a pottery class. Why haven't you taken it yet? Is part of the story you're telling yourself.

Mel Robbins (11:15):

And that's the shed, the expectation. So is the expectation, even the weight that you put on yourself that I can't be creative, I can't do that. Is that what you're talking about?

Phil Cook (11:27):

Talking about you know shed the expectations is like understand how you are already living and breathing this life in and you are already noticing certain patterns in life that you're hearing or you're seeing certain things you prefer you like These are your guideposts. Let them come in, start to name them so you understand what they are, and then give these things to yourself in a way that is like, okay, here's some clues. Sit with yourself. What is it that's calling? What is it that's calling to you through all of these things? Something is in there that's calling to you. And most listeners, you know what I'm talking about. There's stuff that you know what it is and you haven't given it to yourself yet and you've always wanted to do it. And there's like an inkling, there's something deeper inside. This is your intuition.

Mel Robbins (12:14):

Could it be as simple as being, I dunno somebody that, I'm trying to think of a job where you're basically a walking Excel spreadsheet. It's all about the numbers. It's all about everything lining up. You consider yourself to be just one of those types of people that's not that creative, even though I think a job that's very creative, but could it be just this impulse to want to wear fun socks?

Phil Cook (12:42):

Oh, thank you for saying that so much, Mel. The thing is,

Mel Robbins (12:47):

He's lifting up his foot on the table and he's got music bars on his socks as he is kicking back and having a glass of water.

Phil Cook (12:55):

I'm doing the whole interview with this sock up on the table right now.

Mel Robbins (12:58):

You're going to pull your groin if you do.

Phil Cook (13:01):

I already did once today. Anyway. Alright, listen, wearing socks is an expression. There's a preference in there. You saw those socks, you bought 'em, and maybe you're keeping 'em a secret because they're hidden under those pants all the time, but maybe it's a little giggle. You're there for yourself. You amuse yourself by putting those socks on. Amen. You are being creative today. That is absolutely what it is. You got a belt buckle that you want to wear sometimes that it's just like, well, I don't know if most people care about this or not, but I do. Wear that thing.

(14:51):

It's both to lift up the spirit. But there was a second part that you're talking about a lot that I want to keep highlighting, which is the fact that you're noticing in yourself the desire to wear funny underwear or the desire to have a purple highlighter or the desire to the pottery class. That is a way to start to tune your inner guitar string

(15:15):

And pay attention to your intuition. And I want to add to this because I think this principle is so important. There's this famous Pablo Picasso quote, right? All children are born artists. The problem is to remain an artist as we grow up. And Phil, I was looking at all this research. There was a really landmark study done that was all about creativity and it was done in 1968 and they found that among five year olds, 98% of five year olds like score crazy high for creativity. By the time adults are tested for creativity, 2% of them, and I personally believe it's because at some point we don't understand that we were all born with this inside us and we kind of mixed up that being creative is about something that you create that other people like, when really it's about allowing yourself to express yourself in whatever form it's in. And so for me, I love this first rule that you have that you have to shed the weight of expectations because it's the expectations that you have on yourself and that's how you start to close off your own creative expression.

Phil Cook (16:44):

Oftentimes parents will close off theirs and surrender it all to their kids. They'll try and put all of their unmet expectations in themselves onto their kids. Piano lessons is a great example. You take piano lessons as a kid, you quit at some point in middle school and then later on in life you really miss it. And you are one of those people who says, I really wish I hadn't quit. But you know what you do? You sign your kids up for lessons because you're like, well, you do it. And then the kids ultimately feel not only the expectation of the pending recital and all of that that happens, it turns a lot of kids off, but also they feel the weight of your unmet expectations in yourself and the regret. There's an unresolved issue within you that you thrust onto your kids.

Mel Robbins (17:34):

I did this, I made all my kids take guitar lessons, all of them, and I always wanted to play guitar. I've never picked up a guitar because I have a story that I'm not good at it. You have a banjo in the studio today, and as you were tuning it, I felt this thing stirring. And that is the perfect example and evidence that there is something in you that is already alive wanting to be expressed, and somewhere along the way you are the one that blocked it. And so if the person listening is feeling that, should they go take lessons? What is the way that you shed the weight of expectation and you lean into this thing?

Phil Cook (18:24):

This needs to be resolved and healed on a broad scale, this specific, just the piano as an example.

Mel Robbins (18:32):

Okay, you've got strong opinions about this.

Phil Cook (18:34):

I really do because I have met so many adults that are sitting in that regret and they get to the end of their life. The message is this, let your children witness you reconnecting to something that you lost when you were young and let them, this is for you to build a relationship and reconnect with yourself again. And then when your kids see you do that, they will understand something about the ongoing journey of life. It doesn't end when something ends. You always have a choice.

Mel Robbins (19:12):

I love how you explain things. Phil.

Phil Cook (19:19):

Creativity and intuition are the language of your soul. I'm going to speak on this level. This is how I talk. This is me, okay? This is where I've arrived in life. I talk on this level, I'll talk on this level to the person who I see outside the door. Whoever is near me at any place, this is just the level that I want to be at and operate and vibrate at. So this is where I'm at, you know?

Mel Robbins (19:43):

What I say? Let them.

Phil Cook (19:45):

Let them. This is the language of your soul. Your soul is, there's no one else in there. It's just you. You're the only one in there, Mel. I'm the only one in here. There's no one else in here with us. And it can be a scary place in here. And that voice, that drill sergeant voice, when it starts rocketing down at you and telling you you're doing everything wrong, you're not good enough and all these things, but we have to actually break things down and lower the stakes. How do we do that? In my humble opinion, we just have to understand that this is our realm. It doesn't belong to the same time and space that our society is pressing upon us at all times. Okay? This is your realm. This is the language of you. This is a place where you belong to you, okay? And in that realm, you assign the values. You have to assign your own values to what it is nobody else's value.

Mel Robbins (20:41):

And here's the thing about creativity, and you may disagree. We get so in our heads, and I think the reason why we do is because when I hear the word creativity, I think about the output of the thing. And then I immediately think about how other people are going to react to it. And for me, when you told me that one of your principles is lowering the stakes, I started to think a lot about the fact that a lot of us edit ourselves and we tell ourselves we're not creative because we think what we're going to make sucks. And that's not the way to think about this as I'm listening to you.

(21:25):

That creativity has nothing to do with the physical object or the song or the painting or what other people are going to do in reaction to it. Creativity and the purpose of it is for something inside of you to come alive. And so lowering the stakes for me sounds a little bit like this. It's not that deep. It's not that deep. Mel, we're literally talking about allowing yourself to play the piano or to wear funky underwear, which now I feel like I need to go out and buy crazy underwear. Don't like have a funny little secret that makes you feel a little bit more

Phil Cook (22:03):

I'm going to wear them over my jeans.

Mel Robbins (22:04):

Over your jeans!

Phil Cook (22:07):

Out loud, out loud.

Mel Robbins (22:11):

Well, what's interesting about that is that if it's not that deep and you're lowering the stakes, you're like, can you imagine what a day would look like if you came downstairs in your house just for the fun of it? Because you heard Phil Cook make a joke and you're like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to shake up my family on a Monday morning. I'm going to come downstairs with just a really serious look on my face and I'm going to have a pair of printed Speedo underwear with banana print on it, on top of my jeans. And I'm going to see how long it takes for people to notice just because I had this thing where Phil made me laugh and the fact that I laughed is a sign that I'm a creative artistic person. And now the fact that I'm even thinking about doing it, it's not that deep, but something comes alive and you'll remember that Monday. And isn't that the point of this? And so I personally feel like lowering the stakes for me means before you start thinking about how good or bad the thing is, just think you can't. There is a value in your life.

Phil Cook (23:21):

Martin Scorsese. The personal is profound.

Mel Robbins (23:26):

What does that mean? That's a little deep for me.

Phil Cook (23:27):

The personal is profound. You're going to be thinking big, but big is a product of commerce. You're talking about artifact, you're talking about consumption. You're talking about sale, and you're talking about all this stuff in this world where all these things move fast. This is a world where dreams go to die. This is the world where comparison sneaks in and steals everything from you and steals your authenticity. We don't need any of that. You just got to make something that really makes sense to you and is personal to you. And even understanding that you may not understand what you're doing at so times, but as your senses guide you, you will begin to understand there are things at play here, and when you get out of your own way and let the universe unfold through you, you have no control over the ending of this.

(24:16):

You just get out of the way and you can just going to have to let go of it. I've seen a lot of records. A lot of artists kill their record or kill their chance at releasing it right at that last 5% when they've put all of their energy into it and then they feel this massive sweep of vulnerability come in where they're like, oh my God, everyone's going to think this is terrible. Everyone's, it's the last minute. That's the place where a lot of records and a lot of things die because you're getting ready to release it into the world where you have no control over what's going to happen. Most things, you don't have to release them into the world,

Mel Robbins (24:51):

But hold on, I want to make this relatable because if you've ever wanted to have bright yellow nail polish and you go and you start painting it and the nails are almost done and you're about to be finished and you like it, but then you think, what are people going to think? Maybe this is too bright. That is that 5% moment that you're talking about and we all have it, and you are a creative person at work. If you're the kind of person that sits at work and you have ideas in meetings all the time and they get right from your chest up, your throat, out to your mouth, yeah, they hit right at the jaw

Phil Cook (25:33):

Back of your teeth.

Mel Robbins (25:34):

That's what you're talking about. There is a moment where the creativity is about to flow through you, that you then close the gates and you're saying you got to lower the stakes.

Phil Cook (25:51):

Right there. That's the spot. The indicator is that how vulnerable you feel is an indicator of how personal of something that you made. What lies on the other side, if you push through that is something you don't even understand how meaningful that's going to be in your life.

Mel Robbins (26:10):

What is it? What is it that allows you, if you walk out of the nail salon with the yellow nails?

Phil Cook (26:15):

What it is is it's betting on yourself and it's actually realizing that your limitations are your liberation in this realm and your limitations dictate your style and that your style is only you and only you could have made this thing. And if you find a window to actually just trust, it's a trust fall. If you find a window to actually follow through and release this into the world, what you find actually is that people will meet you there. Even if it's one friend and you've never read one of your science fiction stories and you're sitting there and you've written 60 of 'em and you're just like something is calling you and there's one person that maybe only one person, you think that you're safe enough to read it too. That's a powerful moment where you actually witness yourself. It's the completion of that that actually hones your intuition. That's actually the exhale.

(27:13):

When you get there, there's the exhale, and once you do exhale, you actually get to inhale again. But this time with a different fresh oxygen, you have fresh experience and something new is going to come in. And then the breathing process happens over and over, and then you start to realize you have an intuition and an inner voice, and if you start to trust it, all the doubt comes flooding and you're like, I just got to push through this. I have no idea why, but I just have to allow it to go. And you just close your eyes and just be like que sera sera.

Phil Cook (27:48):

Oh my gosh. Well, for example, my career is all about music. My bringing yourself to the work obviously can mean spending time at the piano every day, spending time with an instrument. It's bringing yourself to the altar where you are spending time with yourself and developing. But for me, I mean, let's look at this real quick.

Mel Robbins (28:09):

He's got a tray of rocks, everybody. He's got rocks and things. What is it? What is this?

Phil Cook (28:12):

This is not work to me, which I love so much. Okay, here's the thing. Here's the I'm clumsy. I always like to say my gross motor skills are gross. Do you know what I'm saying? Gross. I have my life. I trip and fall in public. I look around, I'm like, oh, man, am I the only person that trips this much in public? I drop things when I'm carrying two things. I've always been clumsy, so I have to look down when I walk.

Mel Robbins (28:40):

Okay,

Phil Cook (28:40):

Okay. This is my limitation. I realize this about myself. One of my limitations is I'm clumsy, so I have to look down so I don't trip on things. But in the process of that, I started noticing rocks. You know what I mean? Because I'm looking down all the time. So it's funny when we assign the value, I just don't know why I picked certain rocks up, but I'm just like, okay, here we are. I'm somewhere. I'm somewhere up. Maybe I'm in Lake Superior and I find, oh, here's a rock that has a perfect stripe on it. Oh my gosh, I love that stripe. Look at it. I don't know why I do. Gosh, that's a great stripe in there. Oh, here's another one. I have a whole three window sills in my house right now that are filled with just rocks that have stripes. This is the one I got. This is yours, Mel. Actually, this is the one I got for you.

Mel Robbins (29:22):

Is that a heart?

Phil Cook (29:24):

Sure, there it is.

Mel Robbins (29:25):

Yes, it is a heart.

Phil Cook (29:26):

It's all in how you see it, Mel.

Mel Robbins (29:27):

That's right. You twisted it and now it's a heart.

Phil Cook (29:29):

Exactly. And I don't know the names of these things. This is just my intuition, but in my realm with just picking up rocks, I just decided that I value these different things and I how they look. I like how they feel. I surround myself in my house with them, and I realize over time how much that means to me to just have all these rocks around me that I'm like, oh, these are all millions of years old, way older than anything I'm ever going to understand in my life. There's something in there, and after I die and I'm gone away, someone will probably throw these on the ground and they'll just be rock.

Mel Robbins (30:00):

Well, you know what? They weren't for them. They were for you. And this is what I want to say about this because a lot of people, myself included, when they hear the word creativity, they think painting. They think music. They think knitting. They think building. They think pottery. They think writing. They think art. They think about the output. But what I love about these examples, and especially the way you come alive when you explain how taking a walk and actually noticing what rocks you're drawn to is creativity because your intuition is what is pulling you toward certain rocks. You don't pick 'em all up.

Phil Cook (30:50):

No.

Mel Robbins (30:51):

And what you feel about it is creativity coming alive inside you. And we've all had those experiences of walking on a beach or walking on a trail and you stumble upon something, a shell, a rock, a feather, a cool thing. Look at that one, look at that one. And that is the power of creativity in your life because it's no longer just a boring ass walk. You are connected to something bigger, and that bigger thing i s both yourself

(31:22):

And the larger forces at work in the world. What I love about this conversation is it's broadening out what it means to live a creative life, like how you organize a shelf, whether or not you collect shells or certain types of statues, how you solve a problem, how you may talk to a customer, that you drop your tone of voice in order to play the note to get somebody to. All of that is what you're talking about. When you say creativity. You've spoken a lot about your kids. You have two sons, one with autism. How has your son's way of seeing the world shaped how you show up creatively? I mean, do you see echoes of his perspective in your own way that you move through the world?

Phil Cook (32:19):

My kids are my greatest teachers and I've come to know them as that. They help me to see myself in real time dealing the cards that I've has dealt and understanding the choices that I'm making every day and the way they both see the world has really helped me to understand how I see the world too. My oldest son is 14, just turned 14. He has autism, and autism is, it's like your five senses are on our wide open with no filter at all times. So everything is coming in at all times. It's a full kind of overload.

(33:06):

And the effect of that for me to understand over time experientially what it must be like to be in that body is perceiving so much at all times. It's hard to know exactly how to talk about it. And I've come to understand that autism is an evolution in my heart, in my mind, the way I feel and understand him. It's a return to nature. It's beautiful the way nature exists as it is. And I should be looking to my son to really understand how many ways our society has just gradually boiler plated up the amount of noise, the amount of just violence that we have to take in the amount of just distraction, the amount of everything. And we've agreed to it on all these terms where we've become so numb to it. And the reminder of him to me is I can't believe how much we've accepted how much noise and volume we've accepted, how much terror we've accepted as just this is how things are and forgetting that all of us bring not only the energy we bring, but all this internal energy that we have all day. There was a day, there was a day like two weeks ago, and I was having a hard moment. It was internal. I was in the bathroom, I was taking a shower, so he was in a different room and I was going through it. I was just really being hard on myself. I still am capable of that any day of the week. And he knocks on the door and he just comes in and he just gives me a hug. He knew from two rooms away, he could feel it from two rooms away, that dad's having a hard time. So I imagine what it's like for him to be in a crowd or him to be at school all day and have to absorb all these inner conflicts that people are having with themselves and then all the rest of it. So I've found when I see him going through his days is that creating an environment that fosters quiet and peace is one level.

(35:31):

Playing my piano in a very certain way at night when they go to bed gently, and then just paying attention to he helps me. I watch him when he meets people. I watch him when he's reading a room and he's like a guide for me of what's really going on in this room energetically, what's going on? I learned so much from him all the time, and he has such a purity to him. And I realize when I watch him, how he is with animals, especially how he is with babies, he's so pure in every baby that comes up to him, just like they just light up with him for some reason, they just, whatever, any kind of kid that he has, even if they're just a really closed off or scared or timid child, he somehow has this way of just meeting them exactly where they are and they just open right up to him. There's a purity in there and a return in nature is what I'm saying. So I think for me, I realized how important it's for him to have his very quiet sanctuary place. Funny enough, when he gets home from school, his sanctuary in his room is where he puts on thunderstruck by ACDC every single day after school and turns it up, and I hear a bunch of banging around in the room. I have no idea what's going on in there, but I assume it's awesome. It's very private, probably dancing at air, guitar, whatever it is. But everyone needs that. Everyone needs that space to regroup. We got to find that sanctuary regroup and everyone needs it.