How To Achieve Your Most Ambitious Goals

(00:56):

It's not giving up because the bigger the ambition, the longer it's going to take. I don't care whether you want to make more money or you're looking for the one or you're trying to get in the best shape of your life or launch an incredible business or see your name on the cover of a book that you publish. It is so easy when your ambition is huge to want to give up, but not today. Not today and not you. Because today you are going to learn that yes, you can achieve your ambitious goal. Today I'm going to teach you a metaphor. It's something that I love. You're going to come back to it over and over and over because it's going to help you keep going and not quit on those ambitions, especially when you want to. Hey, it's Mel, and today I am going to share this killer metaphor with you because you have huge ambitions.

(01:49):

I know that you have huge ambitions, and I want to make sure that you never give up on ongoing form. And that's why I am in such a fired up mood today and so fired up. I actually forgot to introduce myself and welcome you to the show. I'm Mel, welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast family. Whether you're listening for yourself or you're listening because somebody sent this to you and they wanted you to get the information that you need to achieve your biggest ambitions, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, and thank you for making the Mel Robbins Podcast, one of the most popular podcasts in the entire world. And before I jump in to how you can achieve your biggest ambition, I want to acknowledge you for something. You could be listening or watching a million things right now, but you picked this why? Because you want to create a better life and you do want to achieve those big ambitions of yours.

(02:44):

You want to see them happen. And I think that's amazingly cool, and today is going to help you do that because today I am going to teach you a metaphor that will keep you from quitting. It'll keep you from giving up, it'll keep you from feeling discouraged as you're trying to not only make your life better, but you are chasing down those ambitions of yours. We're going to focus on how you navigate that period of time where you got your head down, you're putting in the work, but the payoff, it's just not happening. And if somebody that you love has a big dream and you're starting to feel a little worried because they seem a little discouraged, please send them this episode because it'll give them the jolt of inspiration that they need to keep going. And that's the difference between the people that make it and the people that achieve their biggest ambitions and those people who don't, people who achieve their massive ambitions, they don't quit.

(04:38):

I mean, that is an insane list of writing credits. So clearly Victoria Monet very successful. But here's the thing, that wasn't her biggest ambition. You want to know what her big ambition was? It was to write and perform songs of her own and to be recognized as the artist that was singing them. She has been waiting for 15 years to be the one up on that stage at the Grammys. And just a few weeks ago, that major ambition of winning a Grammy and being recognized as an artist, it happened because she was named the best new artist of the year, the best album for r and b and the best engineered album. And by the time you are listening to me right now, she will have also won the Billboard Women in Music Rising Star Award. Now, the reason why this is relevant to you and to the topic of ambition today is because Victoria Monet stood up on that stage at the Grammys and accepted the best artist award.

(05:42):

She gave a speech about what it took to spend 15 years in the dark, not being recognized, trying, working, chipping away at that ambition. And our daughter, Kendall was so inspired by Victoria Monique's speech. She was like, mom, you have got to listen to this acceptance speech. So I did. And after I heard it, I was like, I have to share this with you. We have got to talk about this. So let me just set the stage a little bit before I play the clip. Victoria has just been announced as winning Grammy for the best new artist, okay? She's making her way up to the stage. She gets up to the microphone, they hand her the Grammy, she's wiping away those tears, and then she looks directly at that camera and she has something to say to you.

(06:40):

I just want to say to everybody who has a dream, look at this as an example. This award was a 15 year pursuit. I moved to LA in 2009, and I like to liken myself to a plant who was planted, and I really want to laser focus in on that last part about how she kept herself going day after day, year after year for 15 years waiting, just waiting for it to be her turn. She said, I like to liken myself to a plant who was planted. I love that framework. I want to dive into and unpack the thing that she shared, this idea of likening yourself to a plant that has been planted. But first, before we unpack this metaphor, I want to ask you to pause and think, what is your Grammy moment? I'm serious about this. If you were to just roll the clock ahead a year, three years, five years, seven years, 15 years, what is it that you really want?

(08:02):

And I want you to go really big. That's why I'm calling it a Grammy moment. I mean, a Grammy moment is a big moment. So allow yourself to just open up and visualize something big that you see. Is it making a certain amount of money, more money than you ever thought you would make? Is it a beach house that you want to buy or a house in the mountains that you want to build? Or maybe you're an artist. Do you want to go on tour or make a living selling your art? Or how about your YouTube channel? Is your Grammy moment hitting a million subscribers? Maybe you are so inspired by Studio McGee and Magnolia and you would love to have an interior design business and launch products, and that's your Grammy moment. Or maybe you see yourself selling your business at some point in the future.

(08:58):

The fact is, there is something big inside of you, even if your life may feel small right now. And if you're sitting here and you're trying to imagine a Grammy moment and you're like, but I don't know what I want, but I don't know what I want. If you can't envision the Grammy moment, let's go smaller. Let's go smaller. Because there is an idea that is nagging at you and maybe it doesn't feel very big, and that's why you keep ignoring it. Maybe you've been thinking, I should pick up my paintbrushes again. I should start walking every day after breakfast Again, that seed of an idea that you're ignoring that can be big enough. The whole point of this is to stop questioning and to put yourself into a position to start growing again. 

(11:10):

I've no idea where that's coming from, but I just can't deny that this idea is inside of me. And I've probably been thinking about this now for, I don't know, three or four years. And I think the reason why I really want to do this something in the women's health and supplement space is because I have become very focused on optimizing my own health. And the more I learn about my health, the more it seems like every single woman I know is completely confused about hormone balance and what supplements to take. And it is so overwhelming. And every company that I discover that is targeting women's health, it's typically been launched and run by a bunch of dudes. And so I just see a huge opportunity to create something that really empowers women with a solution that is led by other women. I know you did not expect that from Mel Robbins, did you? Well, it's my Grammy moment. It is not your Grammy moment. And this has been inside of me. I can feel it. And this is the first time I am publicly saying it. You haven't heard me say this before. Now it's your turn, stop and think what's something really big that you would love to see yourself accomplish?

(12:40):

That right there, that's your Grammy moment. And I want you to keep that vision in mind as I talk about this metaphor of a plant because we're going to unpack Victoria's metaphor so that you understand all the components of it and you can use it to help you. It's not only going to help you get started, but this metaphor is going to keep you going when you feel jealous or unlucky or frustrated, that success has not come your way or you feel discouraged because you have no idea how to launch a supplement company. And I can't wait to dig into this with you because Victoria Monet's Grammy speech offers you guidance on how to navigate this period between having a vision and actually bringing it to light. So here's the metaphor. I like to liken myself to a plant, and I want you to liken yourself to a plan because this metaphor is going to immediately stop you from questioning whether or not this Grammy moment of yours is even possible.

(13:47):

And there are four reasons why I want you to use this metaphor. Number one, every plant starts as a teeny, teeny little seed. But here's the thing about a little seed, which is what you are when you just have a seed of an idea.

(14:51):

And that's why you need to use this metaphor of a plant that's been planted any single time that you start to doubt this idea. Like I've doubted this idea. What are you doing thinking about a supplement that is a duck stop? No, Mel, no. Let that seed take root. I mean, think about an acorn. Do you know how little that thing is? It's like this tiny thing in the palm of your hand and that sucker over time can explode into a mighty oak. Why? Because all of that intelligence for the acorn to grow into an oak is already inside the acorn. It knows what to do. The same thing is true for a tulip bulb. A single bulb has everything inside of it in order to explode into a gorgeous tulip in the spring. So do you stop doubting yourself and recognize that if you already have this seed of an idea to plant out into the world, it is in you and it's been sitting there waiting to bloom in all of its unique, beautiful glory.

(16:04):

If you have a dream of opening up a restaurant or you want to become a wildly successful influencer, and yet you have all this doubt and trust, trust that because you have the idea, it is already in you and you are meant to plant it into the world so that it can bloom. The universe wouldn't give you that idea if it didn't want you to do something with it. And I'm here to tell you to stop questioning it and trust it. And the second reason why this plant metaphor is so powerful is because that seed and a plant, it's designed to grow and so are you are designed to grow from the moment that you are born and you do not stop growing until the day that you die. And once you actually realize that there is this seed of an idea, it is going to haunt you if you do not grow toward it.

(16:59):

And I need you to wrap your mind around the fact that you exist right now because your job is to take this idea and plant it into the world and do what it takes to see it grow. And one of the reasons why you may feel stagnant right now or lost is because you are not taking action on that idea. And here's another example of how plants are designed to grow and that you need to do this. You need to grow. This is the answer that you've been looking for. Have you ever noticed that plants grow toward the light? They can't help themselves. They are designed this way. For example, if you stick tulips in a vase like the tulips behind me here on YouTube, you can't see 'em if you're listening to me, but they're gorgeous. They're these bright orange tulips, four of 'em sitting in a glass face.

(17:53):

If I were to stick that glass face right on the countertop, within 24 hours, they will be pointed toward the window looking for the sun trying to grow. It's called phototropism for you. It's called action. You must move toward the light. You must take action every single day. Ask yourself, what is one thing I can do to move toward the light of this idea? Now, the third reason why I love this metaphor of likening yourself to a plant is because the undeniable truth about a plant, you cannot force a plant to bloom before it's ready. Every single gardener knows this. If you want to have peas in the middle of the summer to eat, you got to sow those peas into the ground by St. Patrick's Day. Pumpkin seeds, they got to be in the ground right after Mother's Day if you plan to have them ready for Halloween.

(20:04):

See, it's in this time where you don't see anything happening. That's when the roots are taking shape. That is where the success is being built. And there is no skipping this part because anything that's worth doing takes time. It takes time to strengthen the vine, to fortify the stem, to get the roots tough and sturdy so that they can support the beauty that happens above ground a long time from now. And that's your problem. You're so obsessed with what it's going to look like in the final product and the big Grammy moment that you are either quitting too soon or you're not even getting started. And honestly, I think part of your problem is social media. Think about TikTok and Instagram. It is constantly shoved in your face. Here's the final product, here's the overnight success story. Every other count these days seems to be some influencer telling you how to make a million dollars in less than a week or a two week program to get six pack abs.

(21:02):

It's so in your face that it is easy to overlook the truth. And the truth is even the stuff that's being marketed to you, these makeup tutorials, the new journal businesses, the clothing lines that everybody's launching like that, it took two or three years of working for somebody to get to the point where they could make one post and market that to you. 

(22:03):

It takes time because it's in the time and the patience that you build the confidence. So keep reminding yourself that you are a plant that has been planted, but now I know. And you know why this metaphor is so important. Number one, whatever your genius geniuses, it's already in you. Trust it. Number two, plants are designed to grow and so are you. So move toward the light and take action to grow. And number three, you can't force a plant to sprout too quickly. Be patient. And this feels like a really good time for us to take a moment and hear a word from our sponsors. They are essential to the Mel Robbins podcast growing and being here for you. And when we return, we're going to dig into the most critical factor in a plant's ability to grow. And it's a critical factor in your growth too, and it's the environment.

(23:05):

So stay with us. Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins, and you and I are unpacking this metaphor that Victoria Monet shared at the Grammys as she was accepting the award for best new artist after working in Hollywood for 15 years as a songwriter for other people. And she shared that she likes to liken herself as a plant that has been planted, and she uses it as a way to keep herself going during the 15 years that it took for her to get on that Grammy stage. And I want to focus on this idea of being planted and planted in a particular environment because the environment that you're in is crucial to your success. I mean, it makes sense, right? A tulip can't grow in cement and you can't grow in cement either. And there was something else that Victoria Monet said when she was at the Grammy's that helps us go a layer deeper.

(24:01):

She said, quote, I like to liken myself to a plant who is planted. And you can look at the music industry as soil. It can be looked at as dirty, or it can be looked at as a source of nutrients and water. And my roots have been growing underneath ground unseen for so long, that last part of what she said, my roots have been growing underneath ground unseen for so long. It's such a relatable feeling, isn't it? And what I want to focus on is what she said in the middle that she was planted in the music industry for the past 15 years. And the music industry can be looked at as soil, and you can look at that soil as either dirty, getting in your way and not fair, and all the stuff that you and I tell ourselves as we start to feel discouraged that it's not happening fast enough.

(24:57):

Or you can look at the soil, the place that you've been planted in as the source of nutrients and water, something that is nourishing you toward your best self. And the fact is, she's right. The environment that you're in is critical to your growth, which begs the question, are you even planted somewhere? When you think about this big Grammy moment, the thing that you really want to work toward, are you even planted or are you busy looking at other people's gardens? If you haven't started on your goal, then you aren't even planted yet. You're a pack of seeds sitting in the display rack at Home Depot, just waiting for somebody to buy it, nestle it into the ground, get things going, and that's probably where you are because the hardest part of growing is starting. You have to put the seed in the soil so that it actually can have a chance to grow.

(25:54):

And so answer this question honestly for yourself. Am I even planted or am I just looking at other people's gardens? Am I looking at social media and TikTok and Instagram and all these influencers? Because that's exactly what it means to look at someone else's garden. You're not going to grow by doing that. You're going to actually feel stagnant. You're going to feel lost. You're going to feel discouraged at some point. You got to wake the hell up and you got to plant yourself. And if you have a seed of an idea, you've got everything inside of you to bloom into something extraordinary over time. Have you even started drafting out a table of contents for that book? You've always dreamt of writing.