Try It For 1 Day: Do This Every Morning to Boost Motivation & Focus

(01:04):

Hey, it's your friend, Mel. Welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so excited to talk to you today and I love this topic and it may surprise you to know that I'm not a morning person, not at all. But I love talking about morning routines. I have so much to share with you. I have taught myself how to break through that, ugh, in the morning and build a science backed routine. And when you digest and absorb and really put to use everything that I'm about to share with you, it's going to change the entire trajectory of your day, of your week, of your month and of your life. And if you're interested right now in making changes, the morning routine and what we're about to share with you, this is everything. And so first of all, before we jump into it, I got a lot to share with you.

 

(01:55):

In fact, this is one of those episodes if you're watching on YouTube where I'm not going to look at you a lot because that sound that you can hear as you're listening. I have pages and pages and pages of research to share with you because this topic is not only fascinating, but the science is very clear. It's very clear what's happening in your brain and your body when you wake up and you need to know about it. And it's also very clear what the research says that you and I need to be doing every morning to truly leverage the best of our brain and our body and to set ourselves up for success. And one more thing, we have so many new listeners that if you're brand new and this is the first episode that you're listening to, I just want to personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins podcast family.

 

(02:38):

The fact that you have hit play on this conversation about the science of morning routines and the six steps that you need to follow based on science. You know what that tells me about you? It tells me that you're interested in learning more about how you can empower yourself to create a better life. And I think that is so cool that you've taken the time to invest in yourself. And I promise you, you are going to fricking love this conversation today, and you're going to be able to put everything that you're learning to use, you're going to be able to share it with people that you care about, whether you're the kind of person that can spring out of bed or you're the kind of person like me that you have a hard time getting out of bed. Because the fact is, I'm not a morning person.

 

(03:21):

And there are some people like my husband, that literally it's like he's a weirdo. The alarm rings and he is like bing right out of bed, no drama, no noise, no groaning. He might a little because we're getting a little bit older, but it just starts his day. Me, oh my gosh. For me, I feel like, I dunno that overnight I somehow gained an extra 200 pounds because I feel so heavy and lethargic and I don't want to get out of bed. And ugh. And I'm starting here because I really want to make sure to validate that there are a lot of us and you may be one of them, or you may love someone, maybe one of your kids, maybe it's your roommate, maybe it's one of your siblings. There are a lot of us that have a hard time getting out of bed.

 

(04:18):

So let me preview what we're going to cover. First of all, I'm going to walk through a number of reasons why you may not be a morning person. And if you're somebody who springs out of bed, I still want you to listen to this because it's going to give you a greater understanding of what someone else in your life that you care deeply about is dealing with and why it may be difficult for them to just get up and go. Then what we're going to talk about is a number of reasons why morning routines really do matter and the benefit of it. And finally, we're going to jump into the six non-negotiable steps of your morning routine, what science says about it. So here's the first provocative thing I want you to consider. Even if you're listening to me right now and you are saying to yourself, okay, I got to listen to this.

 

(05:09):

I know morning routines are important, I see it all over the place and I got to get a morning routine, and so I'm going to listen, I'm going to figure this out. Even if you don't think you have a morning routine right now, you do hitting the snooze button five times in the morning. That's a morning routine. Reaching for your phone first thing and laying there and scrolling through social media for 45 minutes, that's a morning routine, rolling over and putting the pillow back over your head. That's a morning routine. The thing that you do right now in the morning, every single morning, whether it's working for you or not, that's your routine. And what we're going to confront today together is, is it actually working for you? Are you working against the science or are you working with it? Are you following the steps that could set you up for success or are you just kind of doing what you've always done and then you beat yourself up because it's not creating better results?

 

(06:07):

And so first things first, accept that whatever it is that you're doing, you wake up, you're hung over, you're just devastated with anxiety. You hit the snooze, hit the snooze, hit the snooze, hit the snooze, and then it's an emergency and then you rock it out of bed and then you're racing around and then you're late and then you're racing out the door and you didn't have breakfast and you didn't exercise and you left the house without your wallet. That used to be me. And that can become a routine. And the good news is you can change it. That's why this matters. Now that we're on the same page and now that we've gotten rid of the story about where you're at or whether or not you already have this handled, 

(07:57):

And this may be a reason why it's harder for you to get out of bed right now because your routine is out of whack because your life just changed. Another reason, maybe you have really amazing sheets. I mean, this is a problem for me. I truly invested in smooth, cozy bamboo sheets. The bed's too nice. That's part of the problem. Why would you want to get out of bed? And I mean that truly, I found this fourth reason to be super interesting genetics. This is from a study published in Nature Communications. There are 351 genetic markers linked to being a morning person and a recent study that was published in genome biology and evolution said that morning people, those of you who just spring out of bed like my husband, that's an inherited trait from Neanderthal ancestors. That's kind of cool probably because if you slept in some sort of saber tooth, tiger would be GNA on your rear end before you woke up.

 

(08:57):

And here's one more study that I found, this one from Harvard Medical School. So if you think about your circadian rhythm, which is basically that sort of 24 hour program that runs in the background that truly runs your entire body functioning and it's tied to your ability to sleep and so many other things, your circadian rhythm is generated by your internal biological clock. And according to Harvard Medical School, that internal biological clock, it varies from person to person, but the good news is there are things that you can do. Even though your internal biological clock is personal to you, there are things that you can do to optimize it and you're going to learn about it today. Some of us have a predisposition to spring out of bed like my husband and some of us have a predisposition to be like a hunk of meat laying there marinating in the morning like I do.

 

(09:52):

Good to know. No reason to make yourself wrong then, right? You got to work with what you have. Here's the fifth reason, and this one really rang true for me. Trauma, see trauma and past trauma, it activates a freeze response in your body. And the University of Arkansas did a study about this and they found that when you've experienced a traumatic event, it can disrupt your sleep. And PTSD, what they've found in the research is that PTSD is linked to you having sleep issues. And what happens when you don't get a good night's sleep? You can't truly drop into deep sleep. You wake up and you're exhausted and you're exhausted, not because you're not a morning person, you're exhausted because past trauma is preventing you from getting a good night's sleep. And when you wake up and you're exhausted because you didn't sleep well, what do you want to do?

 

(10:51):

You want to go back to sleep. You feel even heavier. That's why it's hard to get out of bed. And for me, connecting the way that I felt in the morning to past traumatic experiences was liberating because I realized, oh, wait a minute, this isn't a deficiency. This is just something that I need to heal. And when I understand, oh, there it is again. I'm waking up in the morning in a freeze response, I'm just going to push through it. That is empowering the sixth reason and this so many of you and your kids are experiencing right now, and that's anxiety. Anxiety is the highest for a lot of people first thing in the morning. And one of the reasons why is, and we're going to dig into this when we get into the research around the six steps that you're going to take and how I'm going to teach you to work with the science and work with the natural wiring of your body.

 

(11:47):

Anxiety can be higher in the morning for a simple reason. Cortisol, which is a stress hormone or a lot of people call it an energy hormone. Cortisol is highest in the morning because cortisol helps you wake up. That's why it's there. But the problem is if cortisol remains elevated, you're going to feel more anxious. And this isn't just your friend Mel Robbins who has a history with anxiety telling you this. This is the research. If your energy and stress hormone is super elevated first thing in the morning, of course you're going to feel anxious. But if you don't take steps to start to lower it and regulate it, your anxiety is going to be humming all day long. And if you've ever woken up and the first thing that you feel is anxious and your mind starts spinning and your heart is racing, you don't want to face a day, you want to hide from it.

 

(12:39):

And that's what I did for years. That's why I was hitting the snooze button. And there's two other reasons why your anxiety might be higher in the morning drinking. So if you have been drinking the night before, guess what? One of the number one symptoms of a hangover anxiety. Because as your body is processing the alcohol overnight, your blood sugar is dropping and your anxiety is now spiking. And so if you're waking up for anxiety, ask yourself, did I drink last night? Okay, bingo. And the third reason why anxiety can be higher in the morning is because your blood sugar levels are often lower in the morning and that can lead to morning anxiety. And so this is super important because when your blood sugar drops and your body then tries to bring it up, what it's doing is it's pumping adrenaline into your body, which then what stimulates fight or flight, which what makes you feel more anxious?

 

(13:37):

I have woken up and felt anxiety is the first thing I've felt in my body since I was 15 years old. This is like my alarm clock in the morning I would wake up, oh, there's the anxiety. I had no idea that drinking was part of the problem and the anxiety was present because my body is now processing alcohol while I'm sleeping. I had no idea of the stored trauma, which also is why I was waking up in a freeze and fight or flight response. I had no idea about the blood sugar dropping and I had no idea that cortisol levels are the highest first thing in the morning. I just felt like I was damaged goods that was going to feel this way for the rest of my life. And when you understand what's happening in your body and you realize it's not you, this can be explained.

 

(14:24):

And when you understand it to me, it makes me more motivated to want to take the steps that are going to help me face it and quiet it and experience life differently. And that's available to you. That's what's available to the people that you love. When you understand this and you follow the six things I'm going to tell you, and the seventh reason why so many of you do not consider yourself a person is because of depression. Do you know that based on the research, 75% of people that have depression have a hard time getting out of bed? Why? Well, one of the reasons why is because depression just covers you with this kind of sense of heaviness. This real dark cloud my husband had about a very, very serious depression. It's very scary when it happens. And one of the big problems with depression is that your depression lies to you and it makes you feel like you can't do the things that alleviate the depression and lying in bed.

 

(15:34):

I'm sure you've probably heard the term bed rotting, right? Where you just lay in bed and you think about your problems and you let the heaviness take over. It is an extraordinarily common symptom of mood disorders like depression. This comes from a study out of Emory University. And look, if you have been just burning the candle at both ends and you're tired, I have, I've been super tired this week and I didn't even set an alarm. I just allowed myself to sleep as long as I needed to sleep and then wake up when I want to wake up. And two mornings ago I just kind of laid in bed for about 20 minutes until I was ready to get out of bed. That's okay every once in a while because you're just getting the rest that you need. But if you chronically are laying in bed and you're just ruminating on what's wrong with your life, that's a huge problem.

 

(16:25):

And the six steps that you're about to learn are going to help you feel better. They're the six steps that you need in order to live and thrive with depression. They're the six steps that you need to push through all seven things I just talked about. And I promise you the coolest thing about learning how to get up and get going is that the movement and the rhythm of your routine actually snaps you out of these seven things that I just listed that validate why it's been so hard for you and if you really embrace what I'm going to be sharing with you, these are things within your reach that are completely free that you are capable of doing that will help you feel better. It will help you tap into the amazing wiring of your brain and your body. It will help you start building momentum in your life.

 

(17:20):

And no matter what change you want to make, what thing you want to improve, this is the building block for you being able to do that for yourself. But I want to just unpack even at a deeper level why a morning routine works so that when we jump into the six steps, you're like, give it to me, Mel, let's go. And I'd like to start with a quote from James Clear because I think this quote really sums up what a morning routine is, and then we're going to jump into kind of deeper reasons why they're so important. So James Clear wrote the book Atomic Habits. He's like the go-to guy in terms of synthesizing habit research and making it understandable. And he has this quote, you don't rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your system. Now, if you have a morning routine that is basically hit the snooze button six times and run late for work, never eat breakfast, hydrate on coffee, that's a system.

 

(18:22):

That's one of the reasons why you're not meeting your goals. You may have huge goals, but if your systems don't support those goals of yours, you're going to always fall to how bad the system is. And that's what a morning routine is. It's a system. It's a system that can help you rise to higher levels. It's a system that can help you be more energized. It's a system that can help you achieve your goals. When you think about the simple things that you do every morning as a system, you can now be very honest with yourself about whether or not you have a system in place that is helping you achieve what you want. You can be very clear about whether or not you have a system in place that's helping you feel the way you want to feel every day. And that's the first reason why this matters because a morning routine is just a system and it's fully within your power to change the system to improve it.

 

(19:17):

And there are reasons why you want to. And that brings me to the second reason why your morning routine is so important. This is the only time of the day that you're fully in control. If you really stop and think about how your day goes, the second you look at your phone, the second you walk into work, the second that you check the news, your day is gone. You're now reacting. So you're only shot at feeling in control is this system we call a morning routine. The things that you do before you do everything for everybody else, the things that you do first thing in the morning that are just for you. And I want you to protect this time, I want you to honor this time. I want you to honor yourself by getting very serious about the system that you create first thing in the morning for you.

 

(20:04):

This is what you get to do for yourself before you turn your life and your time and your energy over to everyone else. I mean, you deserve this. And that's why this is so important. You're going to have days, weeks, and months where life is running you over. But you want to know what's cool about a morning routine. And this system that you can create for yourself is that you can always come back to it because when you wake up, you get a fresh slate, you get a clean start, you get to decide today, today I'm going to take control. Today I am going to do the things that I know. Just make me feel like myself today. I'm going to put myself first and that's available to you every single day. And when you have this system in place that you know can come back to that's grounded in research, you can truly take advantage of the gift that is a new day.

 

(20:57):

Another reason why this is so important is you're about to learn because we're going to dig into this, the benefits for your mind and your body and your spirit of creating a routine in the system. It's just undeniable what I'm about to teach you in these six steps. It will reduce anxiety, it will lower your stress, it's going to keep your brain energized, it's going to help you boost your productivity and your concentration and check this out. It's even going to help you sleep better and you deserve all that. And that's why I want you to try this routine. I'm about to teach you another reason why this is important, and I think you're kind of getting this over and over is it sets the tone for your day. Who's in charge? Are you in charge of your day or is what's on the news in charge of your day?

 

(21:47):

You're in charge and that's what's available to you every single morning that you wake up and you follow these six steps. And finally, it's the single most powerful step of creating new change in your life if you want to be happier, if you want to make more money, if you want to get in better shape, if you'd like to feel a little bit more peaceful, if you want a mindfulness practice, if there's anything in your life that you really want to improve, having this system in place first thing in the morning. It's like pouring a foundation for a house that you're going to build. This is what you build on. 

(23:37):

And it is super simple. As soon as the alarm rings or as soon as your eyes open, you're just going to count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, boom, get out of bed, just get out of bed, move. And the reason why this works is because I've found that in those moments where you hesitate and you stop and think about getting out of bed, if you hesitate for more than five seconds, you actually will lose all motivation to do it. But when you start counting backwards, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and then you move the second, you start counting backwards, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, you've made a decision to get up. It's the domino effect. I don't know if you know this, but when you tip a domino, that first domino, it moves with a bit of force so that it can start knocking over something that's two to three to four times its size. And so counting backwards is this tiny little micro action that you take that starts the momentum rolling, boom, get out of bed.

 

(24:44):

Do not pick up your phone. This is critical. Do not pick up your phone. I have a rule personally that my phone is in my bathroom because then when the alarm goes off, I'm kind of screwed. I have to get out of bed to turn it off. And so that's one thing that I've done because I know if I have the chance to lay in bed, I just might. So I go 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, I'm up. And another reason why it's so important for you to just 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 get up is because of the research that you've already learned. Cortisol levels are the highest in the morning. And so if you sit there and marinate in that stress and energy hormone, you will feel more depressed. You will feel less motivated, you will feel more anxious. Those things that you're spinning around in your mind, they're going to get bigger and bigger and bigger.

 

(25:31):

And you're going to start to doubt yourself. That's why you got to push through. You got to get up and you got to get going. And that brings me to step number two. Make your bed, make your bed. You're standing up, you've turned off the alarm. You have not looked at your phone because again, we're taking this time for you. You get 20 to 30 measly minutes, don't you? Every morning before you let the world in. Of course you do. 

(27:17):

And here's the thing that I love the most. It's a gift that you're giving to yourself because every time that you walk back into your bedroom for the rest of the day or at the end of the night, you see this beautiful bed you literally do. It's like this beautiful place for you to climb back into at the end of the day. And you've done that for yourself. And this is one of those things that sounds little, but it's actually really big when you're taking care of yourself. You make your bed when you're feeling good about life, you make your bed when you're on top of your stuff, you've made your bed. It's just a simple sign that you care about yourself and that you take the time to clean up and tidy things. And that's a really important skill in life and it translates in so many other areas.

 

(28:06):

And so boom, make your bed. And I'm going to add one more thing to this. For those of you that have a habit of hitting the snooze button or laying there and rotting and looking at your phone, just think about the difference. Think about the difference of just boom, you get up, boom, you make your bed. You have gone from a person whose first decision of the day is procrastinating to becoming a person that takes action and a person that has discipline and a person that cares about how you take care of yourself. And that's just in the first two steps. Now let's talk about the third one. The third one you're going to hate and the third one you're going to resist doing. But the third one has so much crazy science around it that I wrote an entire bestselling book about it. 

(29:43):

This is on page 24 of this book. The reason why you want to high five yourself in the mirror, and you're not going to say a thing comes from research from Dr. Lawrence Katz, who's a neurobiologist and researcher at Duke University, and he studies something called neuros. Now, neuros is a fancy term that basically describes the fastest and easiest way to create new neural pathways and connections in your brain. And the way that you tap into neurobics is you basically take a routine activity, which for you is brushing your teeth, standing there looking in the mirror, and then you pair it with something unexpected like all of a sudden high fiving yourself. That's kind of weird. And what happens is it snaps your brain into attention. And according to Dr. Katz, this little unexpected physical movement that you're now adding to something you already do, it's like a brain fertilizer that makes a new habit in code in your brain faster.

 

(30:51):

So you might be wondering, well, what's the new habit, Mel? Well, the new habit's great, it's believing in yourself because now let's unpack what a high five is. When you high five someone else, what are you saying? You're saying, I see you. I believe in you. Let's go. You got this when you high five a team member, that's what you're saying when you high five a family member, that's what you're saying when you high five somebody on a team that just screwed up in a huddle, you're saying shake it off. You got this. When you do this every morning in the mirror, you just activated brain fertilizer and you accelerated new wiring for a mindset that goes, I like the person in the mirror. I cheer for the person in the mirror. I believe in the person in the mirror. And it's crazy how this works, in fact, because you're probably like, okay, I kind of get that.

 

(31:44):

Lemme tell you something. Would you feel more inclined to create this system for yourself if you knew that this is what all the winning NBA teams do? Yep, they studied NBA teams and high fives. Let me read a little bit about that to you. For those of you that are curious, this is all in chapter two of the High five Habit book. The chapter is, science says This works. And the study that I'm about to read to you is on page 22, and it's all about research from uc, Berkeley, so uc, Berkeley researchers studied NBA players habits of success and they took a look at teams in the beginning of their seasons and they recorded how often players gave each other high fives and other signs of encouragement like a fist bump. Check this out. They were able to predict which teams would have the best records at the end of the season based on the number of high fives they were giving each other at the beginning of the season.

 

(32:41):

Why? Well, the best NBA teams, I'm talking the ones who made it to the championships. They were the teams who gave each other the most high fives at the start of the season. Whoa, why does this matter? Well, high fives are about trust. When you high five a team member, you're lifting them up instantly, the physical touch and the high five says, I got your back, man. Let's go. We got this. It helps you shake off a bad play. It lifts your mood, it communicates confidence, and it reminds you that you can win. Now when you do this in the mirror to yourself, you are your own best teammate and you're leveraging this amazing science and the brain fertilizer to accelerate programming, a mindset of winning, of resilience, of believing in yourself and of cheering in yourself. And that's why a silent high five in the mirror right after you brush your teeth is the third science backed thing that I want you to do.

(34:49):

It has a huge role to play in lubricating your joints and allowing your internal organs to work properly. It gives structure to your tissues, to your cells. Its critical component of your heart being able to pump. I mean, you can go a month or two, right? Without food, you wouldn't last more than a week without water. That's how critical this is. Now, I'm not going to get into how much do I need to drink all day? We'll do a whole nother episode about hydration and proper hydration and how much you should be drinking. All I'm telling you is step number four of a science morning routine is get water in first thing in the morning. And I want you to make it part of your system that you drink a full cup of water before you start slamming the caffeine. And there's so many reasons why this is important.

 

(35:41):

There's an incredible book called Brain Food, the Surprising Science of Eating for Cognitive Power. And in it, it's fascinating the role that water plays. For example, did you know that when you don't drink enough water, you want to know what you feel, brain fog, you're exhausted, you have headaches, and you have mood swings and step four of your new morning routine and the system you're going to create for yourself of just drinking a cup of water before you do anything else. It's simply just starting you to get aware of how important it is to become more conscious of it so that you start taking better care of yourself. In fact, simply drinking more water, it can be one of the easiest and healthiest changes that you can make for your overall health and for your brain functioning. And here's a huge reason why this matters.

 

(36:29):

I used to be the kind of person that once I dragged myself out of bed and I made my bed and then I high fived myself in the mirror, I army crawled to the coffee maker. I could not start my day without doing a tap suck of the Nespresso machine. I mean, I just literally like, give me the coffee, give me that. I can't wake up without coffee. I didn't understand the science. And then Dr. Amy Shah came onto the podcast and explained to me, and I'm going to share it with you so that you don't miss a thing. She basically said that if you drink coffee or any form of caffeine first thing in the morning, meaning within the first hour or two of waking up, you are screwing yourself over because there is this sleepy chemical that's in your brain called adenosine, and when you wake up, it takes your brain an hour or two to flush the adenosine, this sleepy chemical out of your brain so you can wake up.

 

(37:24):

This is why you're groggy. But if you're like the old Mel Robbins and you're army crawling your way to the big gulp cup of coffee first thing in the morning, you know what you're doing? That caffeine in the coffee, it is trapping the adenosine in your brain. The caffeine is preventing your brain from flushing the sleepy chemical out. And so if you ever noticed that if you have coffee first thing in the morning, about two hours later, you're like, I need a second cup. And then halfway through the day you're like, oh my God, I'm exhausted. I got to have another cup. I used to be the kind of person that would, I'm almost embarrassed to tell. You would have at least six cups of coffee. Then when I moved to lattes, it would be at least three double triple shot lattes. I was chasing the caffeine.

 

(38:11):

This one change. Step four, drink a cup of water, full cup of water, first thing when you get up, and then wait at least an hour for your first cup of coffee. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. You don't want to just try it once. Please try it once. Try it once and see what happens. Because I'm going to tell you what happened in my life. I drank a cup of water, I set the timer. I was gripping for 90 minutes before I could have my first cup of coffee. And then something crazy happened. I didn't crave a second one. I have gone from being a person who drinks coffee all day long to waking up and drinking a full cup of water. I'm not even craving the cup of coffee. I then enjoy a cup of coffee about 90 minutes to two hours later, and I don't ever need a second one.

 

(39:05):

It's incredible. That's why I say step four is drink a full cup of water and then try to delay your caffeine for at least an hour. And just as a side, I have to tell you something, we did an internal research project with a focus group about what I'm sharing with you right now. And the results were extraordinary. We put a group of people together and we walked them through this morning routine. And the feedback that we got specifically on starting your day and drinking a big cup of water first thing and then delaying caffeine, it was insane. They quit coffee. I mean, they'll drink decaf every once in a while, but here's the reason they're using science to leverage the potential and capacity of your brainpower and your natural wiring. See, you don't need to be chasing these things. When you understand the science, you can activate all of the amazing programming and possibility of your mind, body, and spirit, and that's what's available to you.