Listen to the Mel Robbins Podcast twice per week, every Monday and Thursday, to achieve the life of your dreams.
In this episode, you will learn how to deepen your healing by understanding how your parents may have created silent trauma that is still impacting you as an adult.
I want to introduce you to a woman who has had a really big impact on my own healing.
She is the renowned psychologist and #1 New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Nicole LePera, who you may also know as The Holistic Psychologist.
Today, Dr. LePera will normalize the common experience of having few memories from childhood.
This is something that I struggled with silently. I personally have very few memories from my childhood, and I assumed there was something wrong with me.
It was only when I started sharing about this lack of memories online that I realized I wasn’t the only person who can’t reminisce about their past.
I now understand why this happens. I also know there is nothing wrong with me.
And if you have very few memories from your childhood, there’s nothing wrong with you either.
Today, we are digging into parenting styles and how your childhood experiences (whether you remember them or not) are still impacting the way you respond to stress as an adult.
The research and tools in this conversation will help you understand not only why it’s so easy to get triggered, but also how to deepen your healing journey now that you do.
This is one of those episodes that I also know you will be sending to family, friends, and siblings because there is so much empowering information here.
I personally made all three of our kids listen because I both recognize as a daughter how my childhood impacted me – and as a mom, I’m also very aware that my parenting style has impacted my kids.
And, Dr. LePera so beautifully teaches us how to take control of the rest of our lives as adults.
PS: After you listen to this one, listen to “Take Control of Your Life: A Toolkit for Healing” if you haven’t yet, because I’m sharing details from the last few years of my healing journey.
Plus, there’s a companion workbook to help you go deeper.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- 3:00: So many of you wrote in about this particular detail of trauma.
- 8:00: Childhood amnesia – What the heck is that?
- 9:30: Here are 3 reasons why you don’t have many childhood memories.
- 11:30: What do psychologists mean by “dysregulated nervous system?”
- 15:00: Introducing my friend and world-renowned psychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera.
- 17:45: What’s an emotionally immature parent and how do you know if you had one?
- 24:30: Two big reasons why your brain shuts down in childhood.
- 28:00: Do you need to remember your past trauma to recognize it in yourself?
- 35:00: What does it look like in real life when you start to heal your nervous system?
- 37:30: Is trauma only for those who’ve lived through a big, horrific event?
- 44:00: Here is why the silent treatment can be harmful.
- 48:00: Here’s your first tactical step toward healing your body and mind.
- 53:15: Feeling cynical about your own healing process? You need to hear this.
Dr. Nicole LePera:
- Website: https://theholisticpsychologist.com/
- Instagram: @the.holistic.psychologist
- Facebook: The Holistic Psychologist
- TikTok: @theholisticpsychologist
- New Guided Workbook: How To Meet Yourself
- Self Healer’s Circle
- Her Book: How To Do The Work
Resources and go deeper:
- For Closed Captions: Watch on YouTube and turn on “CC.” For instructions to turn on closed captions, click here.
- The Mel Robbins Podcast: Take Control of Your Life: A Toolkit for Healing
- The Mel Robbins Podcast: The Truth About Anxiety and How To Heal It
- The Mel Robbins Podcast Zero-Cost Workbook: Healing Toolkit
- Mark Wolynn: It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
- Dr. Lindsay Gibson: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
- Dr. Lindsay Gibson resources
- Dr. Ruth Gatt: Emotionally Immature Parents
- Gottman Institute: 3 Do’s and Don’ts for Raising Emotionally Resilient Kids
- What is trauma? Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps The Score
- Scientific American: Forgotten Memories of Traumatic Events
- National Library of Medicine: The higher the stress, the more memory and learning deteriorate
- Edutopia: The positive effects of storytelling on memory
- The Washington Post: Trauma in infancy can have a lingering effect throughout life