How to Speak Up for Yourself: Simple Strategies for Being Heard

In this episode, you’re learning how to speak up for yourself and make sure that you are heard.

Whether you want to be more influential and visible at work or there’s a hard conversation that you’ve been avoiding with a family member, this episode will empower you to have a breakthrough.

Most of us have never been taught the skills we need to have challenging conversations or to better advocate for our needs.

The good news is that these are skills, and you are going to learn them in a very entertaining and relatable format today.

You’re invited to listen in on multiple coaching sessions with listeners just like you and me who are struggling to find the words or the courage to say what needs to be said.

So today I’m unpacking my formula, step by step, for handling challenging conversations.

This is an excellent episode to send to people in your life who you really wish saw their own value and worth and could communicate it better.

I can’t wait to hear how these very clear steps have helped you have those conversations you’ve been putting off and to show up differently at work and school.

Xo Mel 

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Is it time to let go of your relationship? If so, then listen to “How to Let Go.”

Learn about “The 4 Attachment Styles for Healthy Relationships.”

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• 3:00: Listen to Claudia’s question about how to set boundaries in friendships.
• 5:30: Here are 3 reasons why we avoid difficult conversations in the first place.
• 14:40: Do you have a friend who criticizes you? Listen to this.
• 17:30: Make sure you are ready with THIS before you start your conversation.
• 19:45: This is a prime example of a time when I was being a crappy friend.
• 23:30: Here’s what you should assume before you have a conversation.
• 25:30: Never do this or you’ll put the other person on the defensive.
• 26:45: If you can, PLEASE have your conversation this way.
• 30:40: Here’s my favorite visual when it’s my turn to listen.
• 33:40: Do you have to communicate with an ex? Listen to Erica.
• 35:50: You’ve got to learn how to “gray rock” when dealing with difficult people.
• 36:40: See the petty people in this ridiculous way and it will help!
• 39:30: Like it or not, you have to have this conversation for your kids’ sake.
• 40:30: Here is what anger and pettiness actually is. 
• 41:15: One of two things will happen when you handle conversations like this.
• 43:30: How do you handle combative people in your life? Listen to Candace.
• 46:00: Here’s what a person with anxious attachment needs to hear from you.
• 49:00: Need to have a conversation with someone who’s triggered easily?

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Resources and go deeper:

• For Closed Captions: Watch on YouTube and turn on “CC.” For instructions to turn on closed captions, click here.

• Harvard Business Review: How to stay calm during a difficult conversation.
• Harvard Business Review: How to prepare for a difficult conversation.
• Listen as my friend, Dr. Ramani, describes what gray rocking is in this episode.
• Here’s why it helps to assume good intent. 
• Business Insider: 5 work conversations that should happen in person.
• The Gottman Institute: The anger iceberg.
• Read The Monarchy of Fear to learn how powerlessness bubbles into anger.
• Psychology Today: Exaggeration Fuels Anger
• Call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline if you are being abused.