This One Hack Will Unlock Your Happier Life

(23:33):

You want to buy the single bouquet of the single type of flour. Here's why. Number one, they're cheaper. They're cheaper than a mixed bouquet. Number two, when you take 'em home and you cut the ends off so that they can suck up the water and they look like a lot kind of crisper and cleaner, you can then separate them because in every bunch, there's usually somewhere between five to 12 stems of flowers in there. You can separate them and you can put them all over the house in just like little jars. And then you got fresh cut flowers everywhere. For the cost of one bouquet, that might've only been $5. And because you're getting it at a grocery store, you can do this year round. Your grocery store always has flowers. Got it? Good. So do it for yourself. Now, here's a second way that you can leverage this research today.

 

(24:29):

When you're out and about and you're taking your walk or you're running to the farmer's market, or you're heading to the grocery store, or you pass a flowering tree, or you walk by your neighbor's garden, even just stop. You know how a lot of restaurants have taken the time to plant planters with just beautiful flowers, whether it's in the entrance to the restaurant, or maybe they have flowers out on the back patio, stop. Take one minute and just marvel at how fricking unbelievable and complicated and insanely gorgeous a single flower bloom is. And if you follow me on social media, particularly Instagram, you've probably noticed, I'm always posting flower photos because I am always just in awe of how extraordinary they are. In fact, every Friday night on Instagram, I tend to do a roundup of the week of photos, and there's almost always a flower blooming.

 

(25:41):

And almost every day on the stories on Instagram, you'll see a closeup of some kind of flower that I've grown or some sort of flower that I've seen in my travels because it's almost like a form of meditation. If you stop and smell the roses or stop and just look at the intricate detail of the flower in front of you, you have to be in the moment. You can't be thinking about your work deadline and just admiring all the little speckles that are on the inside of the pedal of that Lily. You can't, can't be worried about the past. If you are admiring the hundreds of petals on a peony that is opening up in front of you, you can't be up in your head beating the hell out of yourself, telling yourself you're not good enough. If you are looking at a daffodil and just taking in the fact that it's bright yellow on the end of one pedal, and as it gets toward the center of the flower, it gets a little bit lighter, but then the center part has orange.

 

(26:51):

And holy cow, I've never noticed the red. You're in the moment. I always have a flower cut and sitting in a little jar right by my sink. I always do this. Why? Because as I'm washing the dishes, which I do, it seems a hundred times a day, do you feel like that? You're always at the fricking sink washing dishes. You see the flour, and all of a sudden you stop thinking about the future or the past. You stop griping about the dishes you need to do, and I just stare at the flower and I take it in, and it is a form of moving meditation accuse me to be in the moment. In fact, right now, I know you're listening to me, but if you're on YouTube, you can see behind me, I've got all these flowers that I have grown. I cannot believe I grew those flowers.

 

(27:40):

There's these huge red tulips and there's these beautiful what's called variegated lilacs. It's the sensation lilac variety. It's purple with these white lines around the outside of the pedal. And then there's this vase to my left of these pink, pink, pink tulips, and they're this beautiful kind of apricot pink. And if you really, really stare at the tulip, it's got this white stripe that goes up on the inside, and then you look on the inside and the little things that the bees see, I love flowers, but I don't even know the technical names. I probably wouldn't be able to pronounce anyway. It doesn't matter. I still admire it when the bees go in and then they get drunk on the pollen, and there's those yellow things that are standing up in there that like, holy cow, it's just incredible. And it's all around you and admiring it outside at restaurants and in the park and on the sidewalk and passing your neighbors, it's free.

 

(28:32):

It's free. And now the research that simply taking in the beauty of a single bloom helps you tap into the sense of awe. It lifts your mood, it boosts your energy. It will make you smile. And here's the third thing you can do. You're going to put flowers in your house. You're going to stop when you see them. You're going to send somebody that you care about flowers. Yep, yep. It doesn't matter where you live in the world. You're either going to stop by the grocery store and grab some and hand deliver them, or you're going to look online. There's a bazillion amazing growers that you can find locally, places you can send from that are actually more affordable than you think. When my friend Jodi, I've talked about Jodi a lot on the podcast, she's my best friend. If you're a new listener, my best friend from elementary school, and she recently moved back to western Michigan where we grew up because her parents are getting older and she wanted to be closer to them, and she wants to be there to help take care of them.

 

(29:41):

And it was a big emotional move. You're 56 years old, you're single. You're moving from San Diego where you've lived for six years and you've had your big job, and now you're going back to live with your parents to the small town of Michigan. I mean, that's a lot. And so I knew that I was not able to be in western Michigan, so I sent a surrogate. I sent her an orchid, and when she first got it, she reached out and she was just like, you could tell him that when somebody writes you a text and you're just like, they're kind of writing it like, oh. Then when she first reached out, she's like, oh, Mel, this means so much. You're so sweet. I just can't believe it. Well, it's now six weeks later, and just two days ago, she sent me another photo. This thing is still in full bloom, and she wrote to me just two days ago.

 

(30:37):

I'm sitting here on this finally warm night as I look at this organ, it is so lovely and it reminds me of you. Isn't that awesome? It's my way to be there with her and support her. And I was really trying to think about, okay, why? Exactly? Why do flowers boost your connection to someone else? Why is that? Because the truth is, I could have easily sent her a book. I could have sent her a gift certificate for a massage. Lord knows, when you move home to take care of your parents, you need one. But when you send those kind of gifts, they're great gifts. Don't get me wrong, but let's just unpack this, right? The thing about flowers is that they're alive and they're beautiful. There's that energy and the awe factor. It's almost as if that living, breathing, beautiful flowering orchid is a stand-in for you.

 

(31:43):

It's true, isn't it? Think about it. You can't look at a bouquet that somebody sent you and not think first about the person who sent it to you. I challenge you. Try to look at a bouquet of flowers that somebody sent you for your graduation or your birthday or just because and not think about them. I'll give you another example. Right now on my desk, there's a flower arrangement. No surprise there. But this one is from a company called United Talent Agents. These are the agents who I work with who represent the Mel Robbins podcast and our digital business. So I'm going to give a huge shout out to Orrin and the team over at UTA, but they send me this really beautiful arrangement, and the card that came with it is sitting on my desk. And the arrangement is an honor of this huge milestone that you and I have reached a hundred million downloads on the Mel Robbins podcast, a hundred million.

 

(32:46):

I mean, the fact that a hundred million times you put earbuds in and you hit play, or you jumped in your car and you turned this on, or you went for a walk and you took me with you a hundred million times, you've invited me into your life. If I could send you flowers right now to show you how much I love you, how much I appreciate you for inviting me into your life the way that you have, I would send you one of those three foot huge globe arrangements like Dr. Judith sent me. That requires two people to carry it up to your door. That's what I would do. And so I was reflecting on the phone with, or like,

(35:14):

I mean, how many more reasons do you need to get on the flower bandwagon with me? Whether you are being really generous with yourself, let's start with you. Start with you. Buy yourself those flowers. In fact, don't ever go grocery shopping ever again if it's in your budget without spending $5 on flowers for yourself. If you can grow flowers, and if you can't grow flowers, admire flowers, go out of your way to give flowers to your friends, it will make you happy. It will make them happy. It's like a two for one happiness boost. And I want to give you another tip about the grocery store because again, we're going to remember, walk past all the mixed bouquets. They're too expensive. I want you to go straight for the single variety that are wrapped up, right? The tulips, the peonies. Here's what I want you to do next.

 

(36:08):

You're going to grab 'em, but then you're going to walk up to that counter at the grocery store. And even if you are living in a city that has a lot of bodegas, so think about New York City, tons of listeners in New York City, tons of listeners in Toronto and London. You got those grocery stores that have flowers on the outside of the store. So you pick 'em up outside, even there, you take them inside and just ask either the person working at the counter, at the flower place where they sell the balloons in a grocery store, or take them inside to the couple that's running the bodega and just tell 'em this is a gift. You don't have to say it's a gift for you. You know what they're going to do for free? They cut the stems, they cut the plastic off and take the price tag off, and they rewrap it in nice, clear plastic or a nice clean piece of paper. They do it for free.

 

(37:00):

It's like now a super nice gift and it's for you or it's for somebody you love, by the way. You want to know something super cool. You know the person that's working that counter at the grocery store, they're either bored out of their mind or they would be stocking vegetables. So when you walk up and say, Hey, could you help me? Like this is a gift. They're like, everybody gets so excited. Yeah, I'd love to. And oftentimes, you know what they do? They literally cut it. They cut the stems. You see 'em start fluffing up the flowers and arranging 'em to make it look like because they get to do something beautiful too. They get to be around the flowers too. They get to be part of the gift too. So you're not putting anyone else out by asking somebody to wrap them for you.

 

(37:41):

You're making someone else happier. So have I convinced you yet really start loving and living with fresh flowers? I hope so. Have I convinced you to start giving them? Because it's not just petals and blooms and flowers that make you happier. All this research is even bigger than flowers because check this out. When I started digging in, I found all kinds of amazing research on the impact that plants can have on your wellbeing and your mental health and your concentration, and also the impact of gardening itself. And I cannot wait to tell you about this crazy study that was done with plants because this study connects to something that 

Dr. Adam Alter (39:17):

The thing about nature is that apart from actually being asleep, being in a natural environment is replenishing. It basically turns that dial upside down, and so your energy starts to climb again. So it gives you back a lot of what is s sapped by that very focused attention. Because when you're in a natural environment, your attention is still grabbed by things. You might hear a bird, you might hear the running water, you might look at trees, whatever it might be, looking at the ocean. But that kind of less focused attention is really restorative. And there's actually a whole body of research called attention restoration therapy that focuses on exactly this idea that being in natural environments is one of the best forms of medicine we have. I think one really useful thing and why nature is so great is because it's timeless. That I think one way to measure how well you are living is are you spending at least some of your day in an environment that is timeless, that is not attached and tethered to the here and now? That is not about the latest screen, the latest device, the latest tech, the latest gadget. So when you are sitting in a forest, you could have been doing that a thousand years ago and seeing exactly the same thing. And I think there's some value to living at least part of our lives every day in an environment that is timeless.

 

Mel Robbins (40:26):

Don't you just love that running water nature? Holy cow. No wonder I'm a happier person now that I live in Vermont and I'm around nature all the time, but you may not be around nature all the time. So if you can't get outside, don't you worry. Dr. Alter has got you covered because in that episode, he also talked about how just having the presence of nature near you like a plant in your apartment or being able to see a tree outside your window, how that alone can impact you. So just listen to what Dr. Alter said about that research.

 

Dr. Adam Alter (41:01):

If you are in an apartment in a big urban environment and you don't have that option, even little trees, little plants that you have in the apartment, the sound of a little fountain that you have with running water that stands in for that experience too is just spend say five minutes a day doing absolutely nothing but taking in drinking in that natural environment, even if it's a tiny one in your apartment. If you can get out all the better, but it's very important to do that, I think as a sort of daily practice.

 

Mel Robbins (41:28):

I think that's so cool that these simple things can become a daily practice. That's why I'm so excited about this because it's so accessible. It's right in front of your face. And it's not just Dr. Alter who's doing this research. There's a study that I found from researchers in the UK where they looked at plants in your home and simply having plants in your home or near you can increase your concentration by up to 20%. So what does that mean? It means this. If you work from home, let's say you have a little desk at home or a place where you're trying to get things done, researchers say, put a plant on the desk or on the counter nearby you why They want it near you in a place where you're trying to focus. And the research shows that simply having that plant near you on your desk near you where you're working can boost your concentration by 20%.

 

(42:19):

Now, when I read this, I was kind like, why the hell would a plant boost my concentration? Well, the researchers dug into why, and they believe it's because of two reasons. Check this out. Number one, plants improve air quality because they reduce CO2 levels. And I want to explain why this matters when it comes to concentration and focus. So there is this really interesting study done at Harvard's th Chan School of Public Health. Researchers did this massive study about productivity and focus at work, and they had people in six different countries. So this study included the uk, the us, China, India, Mexico, Thailand. They had people at work sit near air quality monitors and the air quality monitors were detecting when the CO2 levels went higher. And when the CO2 levels would shoot higher, the researchers would make the folks at work perform tests that measure things like memory, how fast your brain is working, how well you can do certain tasks.

 

(43:21):

Now check this out. This is where it gets really interesting. This global study found that higher CO2 levels in an office has significant impact on an employee's cognitive functioning, including lowering your response time, interfering with your ability to focus, and it also affects your productivity. This is a very real thing. In fact, this is so real that when we first opened our studios in Boston where we tape a lot of the expert interviews for this podcast, we started noticing that after we were in the studio and the experts and I were talking for 90 minutes, I could literally feel my energy leave my body. My focus was starting to decline. The room was stuffy, and it wasn't the conversation. It was literally as if there was some gas being poured into the room. So we put in a CO2 monitor, holy cow, simply by being in a room where we're doing a lot of talking because of the interviewing, the CO2 levels were spiking, and that was impacting focus and brain processing.

 

(44:30):

Isn't that crazy? So we had to take steps to improve the circulation in the room. We put in an air filter. We also started opening up windows in between interviews. And now that I've learned about this research, you better believe Mel Robbins is bringing in the plants and we are putting it in the studio because we clearly need help with the CO2. And so this is legit a really cool thing you can do for yourself. Put a plant on your desk, help with the CO2, and let's get that focus going. Alright, you ready for the next piece of research? I mean, seriously, how much research is there about plants and flowers? Turns out a lot. 

(46:19):

And here's why. Getting your hands in the dirt matters. Whether you're volunteering to clean up a local park or you're helping a local farmer, or you're getting your hands dirty in your own backyard, wait till you hear about the connection between digging in the dirt and happiness according to research. Gardening boosts two feel-good chemicals in your brain. And the reason why it's going to blow your fricking mind, it boosts dopamine and serotonin. Now, I want you to stop and think about your own life. Okay? When was the last time you had your hands in the dirt? Were you helping mom and dad plant something? I mean, I remember for me growing up, this is what we did every single weekend. I got my love of flowers and gardening from my parents. And Memorial Day in particular, which is usually the end of May here in the United States, always marked the beginning of summer.

 

(47:15):

It was like boom, gardening season is on. And depending on where you live in the US or where you live in the world, you never want to plant any plants in the ground before the end of May because the frost could come and kill 'em. So end of May, Memorial Day, United States, Mel Robbins, growing up in Western Michigan, we would load up into the Jeep Wagoner and we would drive to the garden center, and I would go with my mom and we would walk up and down the aisles and she would buy all the plants for her pots and all the plants that were annuals for her beds. And we would spend all weekend long with our hands in the garden. It was one of my most favorite things to do with my mom and dad. That ritual of getting the plants, getting the beds ready for the season, getting them into the ground.

 

(48:00):

In fact, that's where it comes from. That's why I love this so much. And maybe you grew up doing this too, and even if you didn't, those experiences that you've had where your hands are in the ground where you're picking something or you're digging something, it's primal. This may be a little woo woo, but it's almost like you're getting in touch with your ancestors, right? Because it's how we evolved. And when you hear the research study as to why dopamine and serotonin kicks in, it's going to freak you out because the truth is there is a very real connection between you, your life and this planet, this living, breathing planet that you live on. I mean, think about the last time you were digging in the dirt, right? You shove the shovel in, you're turning it over. It's like an act of creation. It's powerful.

 

(48:55):

You are literally clearing space for something new to grow. I mean, it's so cool. I just love getting my hands in the dirt. And if you're a fellow gardener, I can feel it. You're like nodding. You're on your walk, you're like nodding along. People are walking past you going, what is that weird person doing? Nodding along with a big smile on my face. You're probably now going, I got to go to the garden center this week. I got to get my, I got to go. I got to go. It begs the question though, how exactly does dirt make you release serotonin and dopamine? Well, researchers have an answer. Turns out the contact with the soil and a specific soil bacteria called mycobacterium vay triggers the release of serotonin in your brain. This is all according to research. Now, serotonin is also what you've probably heard researchers talk about is the happy chemical and lack of serotonin in the brain causes depression in people.

 

(49:54):

And here's something else that I found in my research. There's a release of dopamine in your brain when you harvest anything from your garden, whether it's fruits or vegetables or berries or even the flowers that you cut that you've grown, you get a little drop of dopamine. Now, dopamine, as you probably know, is tied to this reward center in the brain. It has to do with craving and reward and drive. And it gets really interesting when we dig into the research because it explains why we all flock to apple orchards in the fall. We all want to pick apples. And right now where I live, it's all about picking your own strawberries. Maybe it's picking your own blueberries or peaches where you are. And I got to tell you something funny. My mom is really funny about the kind of pick your own farms because she grew up on a huge cattle and produce farm in upstate New York, outside of Buffalo.

 

(50:52):

For those of you in the buffalo area, we're talking about Bert's farms. That's my grandparents and my aunts and uncles say hello if you stop by. And so she grew up on a farm picking produce. And so we'll drive past a farm where I am, or when I visit her in Michigan, she's like, I grew up picking that crap. I'm going to pay and just pay for it in the basket. I'm not picking it anymore. I'm not going to pay to pick. She's very funny about that kind of thing. You and I, we pay to pick, 

(51:38):

It makes sense, right? When your survival depended upon you finding food. Of course, when you found food way back in the day, there was a flush, a reward of dopamine released in the reward center of the brain, and it triggers this mild state of bliss or euphoria because oh my God, I'm not going to die. I found the berries I was forging for modern society. You and I feel that when we see a bag of potato chips, but our ancestors are like, oh my gosh, thank God. Holy cow, I found a potato. I'm not going to die. The dopamine release can be triggered today by simply seeing fruit or a berry or smelling one as well as the action of plucking the fruit. And here's a little tidbit for you that really, really blew my mind. This same principle of seeing or picking a berry and getting that drop of dopamine.

 

(52:36):

You're like, oh my God, I found the thing that's going to keep me alive. It's the exact same biological process that creates compulsive shopping disorder kind of crazy, right? Why? Well, because you're picking things off the shelf. You're finding a deal. It's like the sad, modern version of the hunter gatherer like mechanism rewarding for finding something. It's wild. Maybe that's why I'm a compulsive gardener, because I'm constantly feeling rewarded by growing things. Yeah, I just think it's so fascinating, don't you, that all this stuff is right underneath your nose. And as I'm unpacking it, and you look at the research and we explain it, that you just know it's true.

 

(53:20):

It's true that all the research and the science underscoring that blooms erase the gloom that you may feel. I mean, literally, it is the most beautiful, simple, and fabulous way to be happier and to feel better in your day-to-day life. So starting today, I really do want you to take this research and just apply it and see how you feel. I want you to have fresh cut flowers in your house. Why? Because it's proven to make you feel happier. And when you do that for yourself, I know that you are going to feel like you're doing something nice for yourself, and that's a really great way to improve the relationship that you have with yourself, your sense of self-worth. Do it. And I do want you to either give some flowers or send some flowers to someone that you love. As soon as you're done listening, think of one person, they're going through a hard time, or you just miss 'em, or they did something cool and just drop some flowers by or send them something. It doesn't have to be fancy. It's just the thought and the card. 

(55:54):

And in case no one else tells you, I want to tell you that I love you and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a better life, a more meaningful life. And I think oftentimes we think that that means the big stuff. And this research really proves that a better life is right under your nose because there are simple things like fresh cut flowers and getting your hands in the dirt or sending something to somebody that you love that actually bring joy into your life right now, and you deserve that. So go do it. Alrighty, I'll talk to you in a few days and for you on YouTube, thank you for being here with me. I hope that all of this flower talk has put a huge smile on your face. And in case no one else tells you, I want to tell you I love you.

 

(56:48):

I believe in you. I believe in your ability to create a better life. And oftentimes we get so focused on the big stuff that you forget about the profound small things that you can do that are right under your nose. Seriously, it is possible for you to feel better in your life today. It is possible for you to feel a little bit more joy and beauty in your life today. So go get some flowers and put 'em where you live, because I know it will put a smile on your face too. And just thinking about that makes me smile for you. So that's it. I love you. I believe in you. Go do it. And one more thing. I know you're thinking, oh my God, Mel, I want to watch more. Do me a favor first, hit subscribe because that tells me you love this kind of content.

 

(57:36):

And it also supports me in being able to bring you all of this inspiration and these research backed strategies every single day. So just hit subscribe. Please, please, please. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I know you can't send me flowers, but you could hit subscribe. That's how you can do that. See, I'm smiling, and this is a true smile. And also I know you probably want some more inspiration, something beautiful to watch. So check out this video next. I picked it for you. Think about it like me sending you a bouquet from me to you. I know you're going to enjoy it.